Awakening Love: Reborn to Be His Duchess Chapter 253: A Quiet Errand

"Mm. Go ahead." Cassian let her leave.

Elowen nearly stepped out of the room out of sync with herself. She handed the cloak to the maid waiting outside, drew in a steady breath, and beckoned Mira over. "Mira, I need you to slip out quietly and look into something for me."

Mira leaned closer at once, listening carefully as Elowen explained. When she finished, Mira nodded with calm confidence. "Don't worry, Your Grace. I understand. I'll handle it right away."

Later that day, Mira returned.

While helping Elowen wash up and remove her cosmetics, the two of them alone in the bedchamber, Mira gently combed through Elowen's hair and lowered her voice. "Your Grace, I asked around like you said. They really are going. The timing's been set too."

Elowen studied her reflection in the mirror, then shifted her gaze slightly. "When?"

"In two days," Mira whispered.

Elowen gave a small nod, satisfied. "Good. That's all I needed to know."

That settled it.

By the time she returned to the room, Cassian was already there, leaning against the headboard with a book in hand. Candlelight traced the sharp line of his profile.

Elowen walked over and rested one knee lightly on the edge of the bed before settling down beside him. As if the thought had only just occurred to her, she said, "Cassian, I could tell aunt still wasn't in the best spirits today. If we go to the springs estate and it's just the two of us keeping her company, I'm not sure that'll be enough. What if we invite the Duchess of Falconcrest and Sylvia as well? A few more people might liven things up. And it would give the Duchess and Sylvia a chance to spend some time together and get to know each other."

Cassian gave a quiet hum of agreement. "Fine."

The moment he agreed, Elowen's face lit up with a bright smile. "Thank you. You're always so good to me."

Relaxing, she shifted to climb farther onto the bed, but she moved a little too quickly. Her knee brushed against something beside Cassian.

Under normal circumstances she probably wouldn't have noticed.

But after Cecilia's lessons, she was no longer the naive girl she had been before. The instant she felt it, her body froze on instinct. She knew exactly what it was.

Elowen suddenly remembered something Cassian had said before.

"My situation might be... a little too good."

At the time she hadn't understood.

Now the meaning landed all at once, and she felt a wave of heat rush straight to her scalp.

That night stretched on endlessly.

Elowen squeezed her eyes shut and tried to sleep, but her thoughts tangled together in a restless knot.

The steaming springs. The men and women in the illustrated pages. Cassian's "situation." Her mind circled through them again and again.

It wasn't until the latter half of the night that she finally drifted into sleep.

The next morning, the mirror reflected a tired face, dark shadows clearly visible beneath her eyes.

Elowen dusted powder over them as carefully as she could.

She forced herself to sit through Cecilia's lesson, but her attention wandered most of the time.

When the session ended, Sylvia did what she always did, blushing as she hurried out of the room.

Cecilia calmly gathered the books and illustrated pages from the table. Once the room was left with only the two of them, she lifted her gaze toward Elowen, her expression warm. "Your Grace doesn't seem well today. Is there something troubling you, something you'd like to ask me in private?"

Elowen sighed. Cecilia notices everything. No wonder she survives life in the palace.

Taking a slow breath, Elowen shifted closer, as though she had finally made up her mind. Her voice dropped to a near whisper. "Cecilia... I honestly don't feel confident. The first time... does it hurt a lot?"

After all, even a small knife wound could leave you aching for days. And this was... far more than that.

Her face had gone a little pale.

Cecilia gave her a gentle smile. "The first time can feel a little uncomfortable. That's perfectly normal."

Cecilia saw the tension on her face and gently softened her voice. "It won't be unbearable, and it doesn't last long. Think of it this way. A fish left floundering on dry land suffers, but once it's back in the water, everything comes naturally. It moves easily. It swims wherever it pleases."

The word stirred something in Elowen, and her heart skipped.

She understood exactly what Cecilia meant. Cecilia had explained every detail earlier that day.

Cecilia continued, her voice calm and reassuring. "After a few times, you'll gradually grow used to it. There's nothing to be afraid of. Every woman experiences it. And to be honest, the pain of intimacy is nothing compared to what comes later. Childbirth is what truly pushes a woman to the edge of death. But these are trials women must pass through. Only after crossing them does a girl truly become a woman."

Elowen didn't fully agree with that.

Does sharing a man's bed and bearing his children really define what it means to be a woman? If a girl never marries, does that somehow make her less of one? And what about women who choose never to marry? Are they meant to be treated like men?

Elowen couldn't accept that logic.

A woman was still a woman, whether she married or not, whether she ever had children or not.