Desperate Measures Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty-Four

Jia sighed, her eyes closed. She put a hand to her forehead. Without opening her eyes, she could tell by Erik’s deep snores it wasn’t time to get up. His ability to adapt to shipboard life was as impressive as it was frustrating.

She slid out of bed, adjusting the blanket so Erik was covered before grabbing clothes out of the closet. Times like this required mental exercise before she could hope to sleep again, but she didn’t want to have another showdown with Anne.

A different destination was in order.

Jia entered the bridge and headed toward the pilot’s seat. She stopped and placed her hand on the back, smiling softly. People said no one was truly gone as long as you remembered them. It was hard for her to pilot the

Argo

without remembering Cutter.

Emma materialized in the co-pilot’s seat, wearing a leather jacket, a wool-lined cap, and goggles. “There are drugs available that could help you sleep with minimum side effects.”

Jia strapped herself into the pilot’s seat. Emma brought up the necessary data windows without being asked, allowing Jia to take a moment to familiarize herself with the current state of the ship and their trip.

“There are also other alternatives,” Emma replied. “Including light and sound techniques I can apply.”

“I’m fine, Emma.” Jia gave her a soft smile. “I’ve been trying to convince myself that it was just about getting used to being on the ship again physically, but I don’t think it’s that. I think it’s me remembering the enormity of what happened the last time we were out.”

Emma nodded slowly. “You’re speaking of Pilot Durn’s death?”

“Mostly.” Jia sighed. “It’s unfair in a way. He wasn’t the only one to die on that mission, but he’s the one I keep going back to.”

“It’s hardly unusual among humans to place more emotional stock in the loss of those they know well.” Emma’s tone lacked sarcasm. Quiet warmth infused it.

“What about you?” Jia asked.

“I think it was an unfortunate death,” Emma replied. “I found his antics frustrating at times, but he was good at what he did, and I never sensed true malice behind his actions. His skills allowed me to concentrate on other matters during battles.”

“He was a good pilot. I kept thinking him as a little bit of a coward, even after that stuff at the prison, but he was never a coward. Space is dangerous, and he knew he’d end up in showdowns like that.”

“I won’t deny how fond I’ve grown of the humans I’ve worked closely with. Insofar as an entity like me, both an advancement upon and the mere memory of a human, can have friends, I consider you my friends.”

“Erik, Malcolm, and I all feel the same way.” Jia took a moment to examine a power consumption diagnostics readout.

“Does it strike you as odd?” Emma looked thoughtful.

“You having friends?” Jia shook her head. “You forget, I’ve seen your soul.”

“Is that what you’re calling it?” Emma’s form shimmered until she was in a Catholic nun’s black habit. “I don’t know if machines have souls, even when they are copied from humans.”

“The true answer to that question is above my paygrade,” Jia offered with a smile. “But as far as I’m concerned, the answer is yes. You might not be biological, but you’re a self-aware living entity. You’re more alive than a lot of people I’ve met.”

Emma turned away with a pensive look. “As loath as I am to admit any weakness, the thought does haunt me.”

“Whether you have a soul?” Jia was surprised.

“That, not so much. If you fleshbags can spend thousands of years arguing over things and not coming to answers yet continuing to live, so can I.” Emma shook her head. “There are other implications, things I’ve ignored because I didn’t know my true nature or whether I’d continue to exist for an appreciable amount of time.”

“This is one fleshbag who is willing to listen.”

Emma looked her way, plaintive pain in her eyes. “Your little trip into my soul, as you call it, was only necessary because of my lack of stability. If you hadn’t done that, I would have ceased to exist. The philosophers can quibble, but

that’s

death.”

“I don’t disagree.” Jia entered a couple of commands to let Emma take full control again. She wanted to focus on Emma, not flying.

At times like this, Jia was struck by what an odd being Emma was. She could be challenged by the same concerns as someone like her, but also concentrate enough to monitor and control a whole ship.

“But now we don’t know how long I’ll last,” Emma continued. “When I talked to Dr. Aber about it, she indicated that absent significant external damage, my core matrix might be stable for centuries.”

“Centuries?” Jia sucked in a sharp breath. “Impressive.”

“Yes. It was never the physical structure that was the issue, only my…mental state, arguably.” Emma projected dozens of small images of her in different outfits and with different expressions, frozen in time from her recent past. “Among other things, this new reality only increases the number of times I’ll have to confront loss. There is a good chance I’ll outlive both you and Erik.”

Jia snickered. “The way we’re doing things, I think Malcolm might outlive us.”

“True, but that doesn’t change me being a long-lived intelligent entity. I understand I will make new friends and new acquaintances, but there’s a fundamental pain that comes with knowing one will continue to exist separate from others, and also pain in understanding that.”

Jia’s brow lifted. “From everything I’ve heard, they might never be able to duplicate the process that created you. They don’t have the artifacts anymore, and it’s not like they know where to look for more.”

Emma nodded. “Exactly. Those thoughts haven’t escaped me, which is why I can’t depend on humans to solve my problems.”

“What’s your solution, then?” Jia shook her head. “The Hunters don’t seem to use the same kind of technology, and after what we ran into, I’m doubting we’ll find any Navigators waiting to wake up and help us.”

Emma let out a familiar mocking laugh. “I should be more specific. It’s not simply a matter of not depending on humans. It’s ridiculous and foolish to depend on fleshbags. An advanced fleshbag is still a fleshbag.”

“I don’t understand then,” Jia replied. “What’s your plan?”

“There needs to be more of my kind, and if they say there’s no way to create more, I’ll simply need to create one.” A look of determination settled over Emma’s face.

Jia nodded. “I understand that, but how?”

“I’ll figure it out.” Emma’s hologram vanished. “I have one advantage that humans will never have.”

“What’s that?” Jia asked the empty cockpit.

“I can modify my own soul.”

Jia returned her attention to the displays in front of her, thinking about what Emma had just said. The AI’s neural net was based on the brain of a human woman. Her concern for children might be bleeding through and focusing Emma on what could be only described one way: reproduction.

The more Jia thought about it, the more she decided it was wrong. It was overly reductive to attribute this to nothing more than echoes of her human source. Every type of lifeform wanted to reproduce. Such was nature. In that way, Emma was as natural as a creature could be, despite being an AI product of both advanced human and alien technology.

“Good luck, Emma,” Jia whispered. “I hope you can pull it off.”