Stranded with My Stepbrother Chapter 63

-Jacey-

I spent most of the evening crying into my pillow. How could Caleb have said that? He made it sound as though I didn’t care about our family at all.

The only times I left my bed were to go to the bathroom. Luckily, I had an en suite, so I didn’t have to go out into the hall and risk running into Caleb.

At some point, I heard a scraping sound near my door, but Caleb did not try to knock or come inside. I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed.

I crept to my door and opened it. No one was there. I was just about to close the door when I saw a food tray lying on the floor.

Grilled cheese, a glass of milk, some potato chips, and carrot sticks.

Tears welled in my eyes again and I picked up the tray and went into the bedroom, closing the door with my foot.

I sat on the bed and ate, sniffling between bites. When I went to dab my mouth with a napkin, I saw Caleb had written something on the other side.

I switched on my bedside lamp and held the napkin under it to read Caleb’s sloppy handwriting.

Jacey,

Darren says I should leave you alone, but I just wanted you to know I love you and I’m ready to talk when you are.

Come out when you’re ready.

Love,

Caleb

More tears rolled down my cheeks and smudged the writing on the napkin. I left it on the bedside dresser and set my empty tray on a chair.

Caleb had made dinner for me even though I was icing him out. It was probably the sweetest thing I could think of.

I curled up on the bed, thinking about what Caleb had said and going over our conversation after. I knew he wouldn’t deliberately accuse me of not caring. I just wondered if he felt I didn’t and it slipped out sideways.

I didn’t think I could bear it if Caleb thought I was some sort of monster.

Crunching myself into a tight ball, I knotted my hands together and started to pray. I prayed for my family, Dad, Timothy, and even Jeanie. I also prayed for Jake, who I hadn’t seen again. I prayed for Will Jr. and his father, Will, hoping Will was in a better place. And then I prayed that Caleb really did still love me.

It wasn’t going to get any easier finding out if I hid in my room. Did I have the courage to go out, knowing this coming conversation with Caleb might be the end?

If we talked, and he realized while we were talking that he didn’t love me anymore, I would be crushed. I would never recover. I knew it sounded like something every lovesick nineteen-year-old might say. That they’d never get over their teenage crush. But in this case it was true. Caleb was all I had now. What would I do without him?

And how would we live here, together, and not be in love? We’d be waiting, what, a year for the trial? Would it be better to live here with him knowing he’d never love me back again or would the FBI separate us? Would it be better or worse if we were separated?

I realized then that I’d convinced myself I could survive anything as long as I had Caleb. What would happen if I didn’t have him anymore?

All I could imagine was a gaping hole in my heart, large enough to swallow me up. I’d had hopes before Caleb. Dreams. Plans. Then the situation with Masterson happened, and all that went away. I should be in college right now, sneaking around with my older boyfriend, reading my homework on my tablet while he laid his head in my lap in a beat up dorm room too small for two people.

I’d always imagined Caleb would be that boyfriend. And he’d cheer me on in my studies and celebrate my accomplishments with me. He’d be busy as hell himself with medical school.

Masterson had denied us that opportunity. For a while, he’d even denied us each other, getting me pregnant with Will’s son while Caleb was forced to stay in a bedroom on the estate by himself. It nearly killed him then.

It nearly killed me.

What if we weren’t those people once we were out of danger? We hadn’t had a chance to grow together organically as we should have. Everything was always danger, danger, danger!

Who was I without Caleb?

I needed to figure that out before I had any more conversations with him about our future. It wasn’t fair to me or to him to not know the answer to that question. I wasn’t naive enough to think two people became one person when they merged their lives. They were still two people who consciously decided to build their lives together, knowing each one was going to grow and change and willing to go along for the journey anyway.

If I couldn’t be my own person in this relationship, that was a problem. I wasn’t just some barnacle clinging to Caleb. At least, I hoped I wasn’t.

I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling. When we put Masterson in prison and this was all over, what did I want?

I knew I wanted to go to college. That much I knew I wanted for myself. I’d also like to have a family with Caleb. But… did I really want that now?

There was some choice in the matter. I was getting that IUD so Caleb and I could make love without worrying about me getting pregnant. But I also had Will Jr. to think about. If Masterson went to prison, would they give him to me? I hoped so.

Was it fair to wrangle Caleb into that situation? Will Jr. technically wasn’t his, even though he’d promised to be a good father to him. Caleb wanted to go to medical school. Would it even be possible for me to go to college and Caleb to go to medical school with a toddler?

I reminded myself that other people made it work.

So many questions. I contemplated them late into the night. I had no idea where we were, if we were in Minnesota, or another state, or back in Canada. But the stars came out here, bright, away from the city lights. I counted them, wishing on each one that this situation would come to a happy ending.

There was a soft knock at my door, and I went to answer it. A ragged-looking Caleb stood there, his head slightly bowed as though he was ashamed.

“I can’t sleep,” he said softly. “Isn’t that something? I don’t know how to sleep without you anymore.”

After a few moments of silence to think it over, I took Caleb’s hand and tugged him into my room. “Come to bed,” I whispered.

Caleb stepped inside the bedroom, then pulled me against him, hugging me tightly. “Jacey, please don’t be mad at me anymore. I’m sorry.”

“I know,” I said. I touched the side of his face, looked deep into his wounded eyes, then kissed him.

Caleb groaned and closed the door with his foot. He backed me to the bed, and we tumbled over onto it together.

I could feel how much he wanted me against my thigh. He came up from the kiss with a gasp and framed my face with his hands.

“Let me?” he asked. “Please? I need to be inside you.”

“I don’t know if there are condoms in here,” I replied hesitantly.

Caleb leaned up and opened the bedside dresser drawer. He cursed. “They’re the wrong size.”

“Too small?” I guessed.

“Too small,” Caleb sighed. He sat up and scrubbed his scruffy chin, his eyes hot on me. I was still wearing a T-shirt and his boxers from earlier, but he looked at me as though he could see right through them.

“I don’t think we should get pregnant right now, Caleb. I love you so much. But I love you enough to want you to do all the things you always wanted. Like medical school,” I said softly.

He lay down beside me, brushing the hair off my cheek. “You’ve been crying.”

“Yeah,” I admitted.

Caleb kissed my tear trails. “It’s my fault.”

“Not totally. I’ve been thinking,” I responded.

“That’s never a good sign,” he winced.

“Am I holding you back, Caleb? When all this is over, I’ll probably have a toddler—”

“We,” he said. “We will have a toddler. I promised you, and I promised Will. That boy is my son, no matter what.”

Tears pricked my eyes. “But what if we don’t stay together?”

Caleb stiffened. “Then we’ll have shared custody, I suppose. But I’m still convinced we are a good idea. Aren’t you?”

“Yes,” I choked. I wrapped myself around him. “I think we’re the best idea since the creation of the universe.”

“Good.” Caleb sounded relieved.

“I love you,” I said, kissing his neck. “I just don’t want to be a burden. I’m a whole person. I don’t want you to have to take care of me when you have dreams of your own.”

“That’s too bad because I’m going to take care of you. And you’re going to take care of me. You’re my biggest dream, Jacey. Don’t ever forget that,” Caleb replied, hugging me fiercely.

I burst into tears. “I feel the same way about you, Caleb.”

“Then let’s not talk about not being together ever again,” he murmured into my hair. “Because I swear, Jacey, if we get through, all this and you break up with me, it will kill me.”

“Me, too,” I breathed.

Caleb kissed me, his own tears mingling with mine. I felt his hard length against me and knew we both needed to connect. It was more important than anything else.

I wriggled out of Caleb’s boxers and reached into his sweatpants.

He groaned when I freed his dick. “Jacey, what about…?”

“Hush,” I said. “Nothing else matters right now.” I threw one leg over his hip then guided the fat head of his cock to my opening.

Caleb moaned and sank inside. No condoms. No barriers. Just us and this overwhelming need to be together.

I clung to his shoulders as he gripped my ass cheeks and started to thrust.

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Jacey. Don’t ever doubt it,” he murmured while punctuating each word with another thrust.

I couldn’t speak. The pleasure had built up too much. I just whimpered against his lips.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m going to take you there,” Caleb said, and just as the first hot jet of his cum began to fill me up, I went right over the edge and cried out, digging my nails into his shoulders,

He hissed and kept cumming, pumping his cock in and out as he twitched inside me. He stayed rigid with need, even when he finished, and touched my cheek. “Baby…”

I pressed my lips to his. “Keep going, love.”

Caleb rolled me onto my back and encouraged me to lock my legs around his waist. He pulled my top over my head, then his own, then kissed each of my palms before putting them over his nipples. I rubbed him there, and his cock got even more swollen inside me.

He undulated his hips against mine, thrusting powerfully, his hands at my waist, his eyes eating up the scene of my breasts bouncing.

I thumbed his nipples and his eyelids fluttered.

“Damn, baby, you feel so good,” he sighed. He moved his thumb from my waist to my clit and rubbed me there while he thrust.

I panted and felt myself at the razor’s edge of orgasm.

Then Caleb leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Make me a daddy again, baby.”

That did it. I was completely undone, coming hard around his cock, sobbing and nodding and tightening my legs around his waist so he could be as deep in me as possible when he gave me his seed.

He kissed me and came, panting, pressing his forehead to mine. “No IUD.”

I swallowed and shook my head. “No IUD.”

Caleb put a hand over my stomach. “I’m gonna put a baby in here.”

“Yes,” I agreed.

“And after that one, I’m putting another one in here,” Caleb informed me.

I laughed weakly. “How many do you want?”

“As many as you’ll bless me with,” he said and kissed me again.