The Alpha King Is My Second Chance Mate Chapter 120

“Did she really kill herself?”

Jake marched over to where Delilah sat, hauling the book out of her hand and throwing it across the room. “No, I killed her! Why’d you read it? Why’d you touch my f*cking stuff?!”

“I…I was curious and even after reading it all, I still am. I feel so sad for her, I want to know what happened.”

“No, you shouldn’t have touched my stuff…especially that diary.”

“Are the clothes in the closet hers? I touched them too.”

Jake clenched his jaws, his hands shaking in anger as he ran one through his blond hair. His heart was beating out of control and his head now ached with a distinct pain. “Get out, I don’t want you sleeping in here anymore…go upstairs.”

Delilah didn’t move, instead she scoffed, looking towards the diary that laid flat against the wooden floor. “I can’t believe that you’re the Jake she wrote about; the sweet and caring little boy that always resided by her side. You’re nothing as such, you’re not sweet, you’re not caring…you’re wicked; just like your father.”

“I’m not…” He stepped back in denial. “I’m nothing like him, I’d never hurt my mother like he did.”

“But you’ve hurt me…your true mate.”

“I never wanted a true mate, I hated the thought of ever having one. My father changed because he found his true mate and now, I’m f*cking changing too! That’s why I marked Beatrice, and that’s exactly why I treated you the way I did. The plan was to kill my true mate if I ever were to find her…but that day…I don’t know why, but I couldn’t kill you. Instead of hate, a certain possessiveness took over me.”

He fisted his hands by his side, looking at the floor instead of at her. “I felt angry, but not for the right f*cking reasons. I should’ve been angry that you turned out to be my mate, but I was more angry that you knew I was your mate and still had the f*cking guts to tell me that you belonged to someone else and that you were pregnant for them. I should’ve killed you then, I shouldn’t have brought you here…if I’d killed you, none of this would’ve happened.”

“You’re right, you should’ve killed me…I probably would’ve been happier dead.”

She shuffled off the bed, walking past him and out the still open door, stepping over the scattered food on her way. Jake took a deep breath, following her out and grabbing onto her hand before she could climb the stairs. He was angry, but just like her…he was curious too. “What did she write? What’s in there…? That diary…what exactly did you read?”

She glared towards him with her glossy, red eyes. “Why ask me? Didn’t you read it for yourself?”

He looked down, shaking his head. “No, I didn’t read it…I couldn’t. It was just…every time I open that book, I am reminded of the horrible scene of her death. It plays out before my eyes…over and over again, and it doesn’t ever stop until I close the book.”

His voice was breaking, the heartache was so prominent in his tone that Delilah’s eyes subconsciously softened. “It was…well, it was about her life…how it tragically went from happy to sad. She spoke about how she hated herself for not being able to properly take care of you…in fact, the last page she wrote was written for you.”

He held her hand tighter, clinging to her desperately. “W-What did it say?”

“I think you should read it for yourself.”

“No, I…please just tell me.”

Delilah sighed, trying to wring her hand out of his. When he didn’t budge, she stopped and looked at him. “Let go of me.”

He was reluctant, but his grip slackened around her hand until he wasn’t holding it anymore. As soon as he let go, she took a seat on one of the stairs, looking up at him with eyes that practically forced him to sit down too. He did so, and she only started speaking then. “She wrote…she said she was a burden to you…that you wouldn’t be happy if she was still alive, so she died to keep you alive. She also said she…she loves you.”

Jake intertwined his hands against his knees…he felt…he didn’t know how he felt, the pain was indescribable; just as haunting as this f*cking house was.

He licked his lips when they went dry, eyes focused on the wood that made up the floor until they just weren’t focused anymore; blurry and teary.

He was once again in that space, sitting in front of his dead mother, just looking at her. He knew it, he knew it’d been his fault. All along, he knew she killed herself for him, but it would’ve been so much harder if he’d accepted it.

Now though, that it was confirmed, he couldn’t even deny it anymore. The tears from his eyes wet his cheeks as he blinked. He felt more sorry to her than he’d ever felt before. That woman had been the rock he leaned against, the only thing that had kept him sane in this crazy world…and then one day she just disappeared, breaking the dam that held all his insanity back.

He chuckled, a sad sound…a painful one. Why hadn’t she killed him before killing herself? Did she really believe he’d have been happy if she left? Did she really think his world would’ve been better without her?

Jake wiped his eyes, standing to his feet. He needed to leave, but before he could do so, a hand latched onto his. “Jake…”

The need to have her gripping onto him tighter outshone the need to yank his hand away, he looked towards her…once again appearing weak in front of this woman.

He’d fallen to his knees too many times in front of her, and he hated it. Nobody else had ever seen him crumble, not even Beatrice, so why did he have to fall so deep into sorrow whenever he was around her?

An unfamiliar sound left his lips, something so similar to a sob as he tried to answer her.

“Where are…?” She glanced away, as though she was scared to talk to him, but why wouldn’t she be? He was a monster, someone so different from the innocent kid he was once was. “Where are you going?”

He’d wanted to go outside, for a run…for a fight; anything that could calm his mind…but he could…no, he wanted to stay with her too.

He shrugged, and she sighed, standing to her feet. She looked at him cautiously before patting his back. “Hush, men as wicked as you shouldn’t ever cry.”

At her words that were seemingly meant to calm him down, more tears graced his eyes and his head fell against her shoulder. “D-Don’t tell me…is-is this you asking me to hold on to you again?”

He nodded, and though it was reluctant, though it was slow, her shaky hands loosely settled around him, holding him until the tears stopped coming.

A/N// I feel so sad…dang. I know I shouldn’t feel sad for him, but I do. He acts so tough and look at the f*cking idiot now…goddess…

Guys, I don’t know what the f*ck is going on in this house…so my baby cousin got sick, and now everybody’s sick too…

This flu/fever is so damn bad that it makes even my f*cking muscles hurt. Mine isn’t that bad, but my sister’s is…so I’ll be accompanying her to a doctor tomorrow. I’m glad I’m the least bit okay…because, what’s going on?!