The CEO Above My Desk Chapter 190

***Violet***

I woke up feeling like absolute death.

At first, I didn’t even know what woke me.

The storm outside had mostly passed sometime during the night, leaving the penthouse strangely quiet except for soft rain tapping against the windows now.

Rowan’s arm was still wrapped tightly around my waist. Warm. Heavy. Safe.

That part was nice.

The problem was the violent nausea currently trying to turn my stomach inside out.

Oh no.

Oh no no no.

I froze instantly.

Maybe if I stayed perfectly still… Maybe it would go away.

It did not go away. In fact, it got worse. Fast.

I carefully tried lifting Rowan’s arm off me without waking him.

Immediately, “You okay?”

God damn it.

I closed my eyes briefly. “You were asleep.”

“You moved.”

“That’s creepy.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

I slowly pushed myself upright while swallowing hard against the nausea rolling violently through me.

“I think I’m gonna throw up.”

The bed shifted behind me instantly. Then suddenly Rowan was up too. Wide awake. Alert. Concerned.

The second my feet hit the floor, Rowan was already beside me.

Of course he was.

I barely made it halfway into the bathroom before dropping to my knees beside the toilet.

And unfortunately?

Pregnancy apparently had no respect for human dignity whatsoever. Because within seconds I was throwing up violently while Rowan immediately pulled my hair back from my face with one hand.

Humiliating. Absolutely humiliating.

“This is awful,” I groaned miserably afterward while leaning against the toilet.

Rowan stayed crouched beside me quietly. One hand rubbing slowly up and down my back. Steady. Comforting.

“You’re literally creating a person,” he said softly. “I think you’re allowed to throw up.”

“That’s not helping.”

“I’m trying.”

I groaned dramatically before letting my forehead rest against the toilet seat briefly.

“I feel like I look disgusting.”

“No you don’t.”

“You’re legally required to say that.”

“No.” His hand slid carefully against my back again. “You really don’t.”

God. That stupid soft voice was gonna ruin my entire life someday.

I slowly sat back against the bathroom cabinet while Rowan grabbed a washcloth before kneeling in front of me again.

Watching Rowan Ashcroft kneel on an expensive marble bathroom floor at seven in the morning while gently wiping my face after I threw up should not have emotionally affected me this much.

But unfortunately… It really did.

I watched him quietly for a second. Still shirtless. Hair messy from sleep. Eyes exhausted. And somehow still entirely focused on me.

“You don’t have to hover,” I muttered quietly.

“I know.”

“But you’re going to anyway.”

“Yes.”

I leaned my head back against the cabinet behind me while Rowan stayed sitting beside me on the floor.

Neither of us spoke for a little while.

The penthouse stayed quiet around us. Soft rain. Dim lights. Early morning exhaustion.

Then finally, “I’m not quitting my job.”

Rowan exhaled slowly beside me. “Violet—”

“No, listen to me first.”

He stayed quiet.

Good.

Because I needed him to understand this.

I pulled my knees slightly closer toward my chest before speaking again quieter this time.

“My whole life…” I swallowed hard. “I’ve had to depend on other people.”

That immediately got his full attention.

“My mom got sick.” I stared down at the bathroom tile. “Drew was gone half the time.” My voice softened. “Bills were always terrifying.”

Rowan didn’t interrupt once.

“I worked because I had to.” I laughed weakly under my breath. “And then eventually… I liked it.”

That one surprised even me a little.

But it was true.

“I like feeling useful,” I admitted quietly. “I like earning my own money.” My throat tightened slightly. “I like knowing that if everything falls apart tomorrow, I can still survive on my own.”

Silence settled between us again. Heavy. Honest.

Then finally I looked toward him. “And I know you’d take care of me,” I whispered. “I know that.”

Rowan rubbed one tired hand slowly over his face before looking back at me again. “You were stalked.” The words came out rougher now. “People threatened you.”

I looked down quietly.

“You still tried answering phones even while being the target of some psycho mad woman.” His jaw tightened slightly. “And now you’re pregnant.”

There it was again. That fear. Raw this time. Unfiltered.

“I almost lost you before I even knew,” he admitted quietly.

My chest physically hurt hearing that.

Rowan looked away briefly before continuing. “You think I’m overreacting because I hired support staff?”

“No,” I whispered.

“You’re right about one thing, though.” His eyes lifted back toward mine. “I’m terrified.”

That one completely shattered whatever frustration I still had left.

Because suddenly… I understood. Not just the controlling behavior. Not the security systems. Not the house.

Him. I understood him. He wasn’t trying to control me. He was trying to protect the future he almost didn’t get.

Rowan would burn the entire world down before letting anything happen to me. But that wasn’t the point.

“I just…” I rubbed tiredly at my eyes. “I don’t want to lose myself either.”

God. Saying it out loud hurt more than expected.

Because suddenly tears burned hard behind my eyes.

“I spent so long trying to survive, Rowan.” My voice cracked softly. “And now suddenly everybody wants me to stop.”

Rowan stared at me quietly for a long moment after that.

Then finally he shifted closer toward me on the bathroom floor.

Close enough his knee brushed mine.

“I’m not trying to take your life away from you.”

“I know.”

“I’m trying to keep you alive.”

I reached toward him slowly then and Rowan immediately took my hand like instinct. Warm fingers wrapping tightly around mine.

“I don’t want to stop working,” I admitted softly.

“I know.”

“But…” I exhaled shakily. “Maybe we can compromise.”

Rowan blinked once. Carefully. Like he didn’t trust the word compromise emotionally.

“You can hire support staff,” I continued slowly. “But I still want to work.”

He stayed quiet. Thinking. Then finally, “No front desk.”

I narrowed my eyes slightly. “Rowan.”

“Absolutely not.”

I kind of expected that answer.

He squeezed my hand gently once.

“You’re not sitting exposed near building access anymore.” His expression stayed firm. “Especially now.”

I stared at him quietly for another moment before finally sighing softly through my nose. “Okay.”

That caught him off guard immediately.

His eyebrows lifted slightly. “Okay?”

“I said okay,” I muttered tiredly. “No more front desk.”

The thought hurt a little more than I expected.

That desk had been mine for years now. My space. My routines. My control.

But after everything Bennett told us tonight…

After learning people had specifically targeted me there…

I understood. Even if I hated it.

Rowan watched me carefully like he was waiting for me to change my mind and start throwing things.

“I don’t want to just sit at home all day waiting for you,” I admitted quietly. “I’ll lose my mind. I need structure,” I continued softly. “I need purpose.”

His thumb brushed slowly against my knuckles again.

“You’ll still be my assistant.” His voice softened slightly now. “Just in my office.”