Things near & far Chapter 26: Part 26

robed in the black habit and the square cap. He would be told the line and given the letter, and that would be all right. It was so small a thing that the man who “played” it was supposed not to care to do so under his own name, so I was either not in the bill at all or else I appeared as “Mr. Walter Plinge,” the Mrs. Harris of the Benson Company, who often came in useful on occasions like this, or when there was a case of “doubling.” There was such a person, but I believe he kept a tavern frequented by the Company. And so I was the Clerk of the Court, and solemnly proceeded to consider within myself what a Compleat Clerk of the Court should be like. I determined, firstly, that the boy at the back of the gallery should hear what I said; but this is a general rule--and by no means the least important--which applies to all acting. My second resolution was that a really convincing Clerk would not take the faintest interest in the very emotional procedure which seems to have characterised the strict court of Venice. He would listen to all the pleadings and all the agonies with a stolid countenance. When the Doge spoke of “brassy bosoms” and “hearts of flint” and “gentle answer, Jew” and so forth, the Clerk would become stonier and stonier in his indifference, possibly reflecting inwardly that he had always thought that the appointment was a purely political one, and that now he was sure of it. “Ad captandum arguments,” “Old Bailey rhetoric,” “Buzfuz on the Bench,” “Trying to throw dust in the eyes of the Jew,” such phrases, translated, of course, into choice Venetian dialect, might be supposed to flit through the purely legal and formalistic mind of the Clerk. As for the young advocate, whose credentials the Clerk had been obliged to proclaim, well, frankly, the Clerk could not understand how the Doge, politician as he was, could permit such unprofessional rubbish as the “Quality of mercy” speech to be uttered in court at all. “Mountain pines,” “wag their high tops,” “twice blest,” “crowned monarch better than his throne”: really, really! What was the Bar coming to? The Clerk’s face and attitude have become perfectly stony in their supreme indifference; he might be a thousand miles away. But! What is that? The Bond bad in law? The plaintiff debarred from recovering, and not only that, but, _ipso facto_, liable to criminal proceedings of a highly penal character? Now, indeed, the Clerk of the Court is interested. Not that he cares twopence for Antonio or for Shylock either; but there does seem distinctly to be a flaw. The young Advocate must have a technical mind, that greatest of all blessings. The Clerk pricks up his ears, as if he were a terrier advised of the presence of a rat; he is intensely awake; he consults his authorities on the table before him; he is really inclined to think that a highly important point is at issue; he believes that the question, or something very much like it, was raised in the Dogeship of Bragadin, _c._ 1150. At length the Clerk of the Court is all alive. I thought of all that, and I tried to render it as best I could. And I only mention this trivial nonsense because, to the best of my belief, it is the only instance in which I have found that doing my best and sparing no pains brought me the faintest sort of reward. As a rule, in my experience, the mere fact of taking pains has been rewarded with the malignity of scoundrels and the insults of fools. But in this extraordinary and, as I must say, miraculous affair it was otherwise. The tour of the Benson Company drew to its close. It was now hot summer and we were playing a _matinée_, I think on the Whitsuntide Bank Holiday, in some theatre on the south side of the river; some theatre which in all probability is now devoted to “the pictures.” It was glorious weather, there were few people in the house, and as one of the ladies of the company observed cheerfully in the wings, “People who come to see Shakespeare on an afternoon like this ought to have their noses rubbed in it.” Ah, the good, gross gaiety: how few people have as this lady had, and has, the true art of it! Her remark did me a lot of good that languid, heated afternoon in the half-empty theatre; and I believe that the Clerk of the Court--we were playing the “Merchant”--was a shade wearier than usual in his utter boredom and contempt of the whole proceedings: till his moment came. And a few days later Henry Ainley was saying to me in our dressing-room: “I am engaged by Alexander to play Paolo next year. And, do you know, Alexander said to me: ‘You’ve got a remarkably good actor in your Company; and I couldn’t even find his name in the cast. He was playing the Clerk of the Court that afternoon: he was very good indeed.’” The great George Alexander to speak thus of the little beginner in his little shadow of a part! Well, I suppose all such taps are vanities; but there was a very happy man that night in the dressing-room, and he plied the spirit-gum and fixed on his beard for the part of the Major-Domo in the “Shrew”--two lines--with trembling, unsteady, rapturous fingers. A few weeks later I was engaged to play a small part in “Paolo and Francesca,” but that was for the early spring of 1902, and I had to fill in. So I joined a pastoral or open-air company (almost all of whom were Bensonians), and played with them for three weeks. Then I met a friend in the Strand and said “I want a shop,” and found myself rehearsing next day the part of a comic Irish servant in a sketch called “The Just Punishment”--an entirely preposterous playlet. We did a fortnight of it--two houses a night--at the Hoxton Varieties and another East-End hall, the name of which I have forgotten. At the Varieties I dressed with a very pleasant black man; the rats ran about the dressing-rooms and passages like kittens. And the audience! There was no question of their being all right till you began to bore them. You made your entrance as the curtain went up, and found the whole house in an uproar. Most of it was lighthearted hilarity, some of it was argument, and they argue very forcibly in Hoxton, occasionally with broken bottles. The actor’s business was to drown them, and get them to listen, and amuse them--if he could--and very capital training it was. But the sketch was not booked on--and no wonder--so I went to Mr. Denton’s in Maiden Lane. He sent me to Mr. Charles Terry, who was taking out a melodrama called “The Silent Vengeance,” written by Mr. Harry Grattan round the personality of Mr. Silward, that wonderful animal impersonator. From first to last I played three parts in “The Silent Vengeance”--a solicitor, a doctor and a barber--and it only ran six weeks. But for the last week of the run I had been rehearsing the part of an old actor in the farcical comedy of “The Varsity Belle.” Then at the end of a fortnight, for one reason or another, I had to change this rôle for that of a University Don; and there were over two hundred cues in the first act, and I had only a week for study! The manager was an entirely honest but boorish fellow, and I gave him my notice; “bunged in my notice” would be more idiomatic. The day I left “The Varsity Belle” company I got an engagement from an old Bensonian friend to play for a fortnight or so in Old Comedy down in the western country, and a delightful engagement it turned out. We all knew each other, or very soon got to know each other, and we drank beer and played skittles in tumbledown alleys behind old inns, and brewed bowls of punch, and in spite of these wild practices acted, I think, decently. Poor Ernest Cosham was the Comedian and Mr. Leon Quartermaine played the juvenile leads; and I hope he has not forgotten a famous game of Blind Hookey in a little inn at Westbury-on-Avon, the only card game that I ever enjoyed. And the morning after our last performance I went up from Andover to town and listened to Stephen Phillips reading his play, “Paolo and Francesca,” to the assembled company. I had been a year on the stage, and I think I had had as varied an experience as falls to the lot of most beginners. * * * * * And here there is a great gap. There were other adventures on the stage; but enough, I think, has been said of these things. I have just told of that happy moment of June, 1901, when Henry Ainley repeated to me George Alexander’s kindly praise of my acting. And, indeed, that was bliss, but I believe that I received the promise of a happiness that should be deeper and more lasting one morning towards the end of August, 1921. For that morning brought a letter ending my career as a journalist. * * * * * Poor George Sampson got into grievous trouble over his innocent speculations as to so innocent a thing as an underpetticoat. I propose, therefore to say nothing about the craft of journalism, which I followed for many years. Save only this: _Eduxit me de lacu miseriæ, et de luto fæcis. Et statuit super petram pedes meos: et direxit gressus meos._ THE END Printed in Great Britain at _The Mayflower Press, Plymouth_. William Brendon & Son, Ltd. Transcriber’s Note: Words may have multiple spelling variations or inconsistent hyphenation in the text. These have been left unchanged unless indicated below. Jargon, dialect, obsolete and alternative spellings were left unchanged. Three misspelled words were corrected. Words and phrases in italics are surrounded by underscores, _like this_. Unprinted or partially printed letters and punctuation, were corrected.