When the Lights Go Out in Manhattan Chapter 8

I deleted Life360 from my phone right then and there.

I turned around and dove back into the joy of my friend's wedding.

At 1 AM, Julian returned alone to our empty apartment. He hadn't waited for me in the parking lot.

Not only that, he found the candlelight dinner and rose petals he had meticulously prepared were exactly as he left them. Untouched.

He thought I hadn't come back, but when he pushed open the bedroom door, he saw me sleeping soundly under the covers.

Once upon a time, I loved preparing surprises for him.

Unfortunately, Julian hated surprises.

One year for his birthday, I asked his parents about his favorite childhood foods and invited all our friends and family for a surprise party.

We waited until dark, but he never showed.

After everyone left in disappointment, Julian strolled home slowly.

He told me he knew about my "little tricks" all along.

He deliberately didn't show up, letting me apologize to everyone over and over, then watched from the Starbucks on the corner as I cleaned up the mess alone.

It was all to teach me a "lesson."

He said after working hard all day, he needed a hot meal that filled his stomach, not some childish candlelight dinner and flashy romance.

I used to think he just didn't understand romance.

Until later, when I saw the fairytale picture book he hand-painted for Chloe as a graduation gift.

I realized Julian wasn't incapable of romance; he just didn't want to be romantic with me.

"...Ellie, are you awake?"

Getting no response, Julian lay down next to me and gently pulled me into his arms.

This embrace used to be my only source of security.

Thinking about it now, that so-called security probably just came from his athletic build. If a taller, hotter man held me, I'd probably be happier.

My heart clearly wasn't with him anymore.

But he kept apologizing and confessing in my ear, his voice hoarse.

"Eleanor, I messed up. I know now. You are the gentlest, kindest person I know, and I... I can't lose you. Please. Let's not get divorced, okay? I can't imagine life without you. I love you, Ellie. I really love you."

Noticing his wandering hands starting to roam over my body, I ran out of patience and turned on the bedside lamp.

"Julian, don't touch me."

"...Eleanor, I wasn't—I just wanted to hold you."

"But I don't want to be held."

I struggled to break free. Just as I was about to walk out of the bedroom, he grabbed me from behind and pressed me against the wall.

"Eleanor, let's have a baby."

It sounded like he was asking for my opinion, but his urgent movements betrayed his extremely selfish nature.

Thinking of all the years I begged him for a child, from subtle hints to direct pleas, and how he always refused citing his "career trajectory."

I suddenly laughed.

"Let go of me, Julian. Don't make me call 911."

"You wouldn't, Eleanor..."

A second before I was about to lose it, Julian's phone rang.

It was Chloe's exclusive ringtone.

He didn't want to answer, but it rang persistently. Coupled with me pushing him away with all my strength, he reluctantly picked up.

Chloe's crying could be heard faintly from the receiver.

Julian's expression shifted. He hung up, his tone hesitant.

"Chloe is alone at the beach. I'm worried about her safety."

"Yeah, the beach isn't safe at this hour." I looked at him with guarded eyes. "You should go find her."

"But I don't want to leave you here alone—"

"Go. If you're late, she'll be angry."

Julian wanted to say something else, but Chloe called again.

The man gritted his teeth, dropping a sentence before leaving:

"Eleanor, I'll be back soon. We need to talk. Really talk."