The Cry of the Wolf Chapter 81

For having been able to hold her infant, Adelaide wasn't feeling any better. In fact, her stomach rolled mercilessly, threatening an impending upheaval. LIkely stressed, she surmised as she and Gretjen embraced. She was the first to turn away. It was much too painful to watch her child being carried away from her once more. This reunion may not have been such a great idea, the raw agony of her decision to return, searing her soul once more.

Why had she ever left Chief Long Knife? The lingering scent of timber from the fortress barricades that trapped her reminded her of her husband. Being here was a mistake. A colossal mistake but...well... No, she couldn't.

Could she?

Adelaide mulled over this new idea, unaware her steps had quickened as she hastily retreated to her quarters. Solitude. A place to think...and plan. A hint of a grin tugged at Adelaide's lips as she breathed deeply the crisp autumn air.

"Are you alright?" George looked down at the young woman who had crashed into him, clearly deep in thought. He stepped back quickly, giving her space.

"Oh, I'm sorry. My mind was a thousand miles away..." Adelaide apologized, gazing up with a start into George's pale eyes - a welcome sight.

"What are you doing here? Oh my, I barely recognized you in European clothing," Addy chuckled.

George returned her smile, "I'd almost forgotten what a warm bath feels like, but I must admit I prefer buckskin. Leather suits me more and the wilderness calls to me. I was hoping I wouldn't be here long and now that I've found you..."

"You were looking for me? That's why you're here?" Adelaide twisted her fingers together not sure she really wanted to hear the answer and yet her curiosity had gotten the better of her.

"Of course! Your husband loves you and would have come himself as soon as he discovered you'd left, but he can't shirk his responsibilities. I don't have to tell you that..." George ran his hand through his silky blonde hair, "...after all, you've known him much longer than I, but rest assured, he loves you and longs for you to return to his side."

"He still loves me? Even after..."

George gazed down at his chief's wife, cocking his head to the side. "Of course. But I have to ask...why would you have ever left him? He is one of the most honorable men I have met and trust me, I have served in the army with many noblemen who I would have given my life for. Come, let us walk together near the gates. I wish for you to share your heart with me. I know you and my wife are very close and perhaps it would be easier for you to share your heart with her, but I am here and want you to know I am a good listener. So please...."

Addy nodded, sighing straight to her toes. "How much did Gretjen tell you?"

"Not much really. Well, you left quite suddenly and Chief Long Knife instructed me to come after you and bring you back home to him. He is worried for you and the child's safety."

Of course. It was his son whom he wanted to be returned. Adelaide bit her bottom lip much too hard, tasting the familiar saltiness of her own blood...and the reason she had left in the first place.

"I know you are a Believer..." She allowed her words to hang between them for a moment while she searched for the right words to explain her actions. "I was married...I am married to another. It is far too complicated to explain, but when I was taken by Chief Long Knife, I was a married woman. Oh, I put off...um...you know... for a long time, but finally succumbed to him - to my life here. I never thought I would see my husband again and couldn't survive alone in the woods with my children. I did what I had to do and ended up falling in love. When my children died...all my children with my first husband, I saw it as the hand of God smiting me. Can you understand? My children paid the ultimate price because of my sin. I cannot, cannot ever forgive myself for it! No matter how much I pray and ask God's forgiveness, my children are not returning to me from the grave. Yes, I have been blessed with another child with the chief, but it isn't the same. I don't share the same bond with him as I did my first children."

"He is only a few weeks old, Dark Star, and you were with your other children much longer. It is natural that the bond between you and them would be stronger. You can't blame yourself," George sought to soothe the woman who stood before him, tears cascading down her ashen cheeks.

"Have you shared this with your husband? I mean, does Chief Long Knife know of the pain you carry?"

Addy shook her head no.

"I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I feel so unworthy of his love..." Her shoulders shook as she muffled a sob, "I deceived him by never telling him the truth about Gavin. I saw him grieve the deaths of my children. He loved them as though they were his own flesh. How could I tell him it was my fault they lay in a forgotten mass grave? He has so much responsibility and is struggling to lead the Mohawk tribe. I thought of telling him - of sharing my heart, but once I heard that he is leading the tribe south to find his first wife, well, that is when I decided to leave. Once and for all. I have no place in the tribe. He has an heir - that is all he took me for. To replace his wife when he thought she was dead. I gave him a son. That is why I knew I had to come back and try to find my first husband. Just maybe then God will forgive me and the pain, this terrible, heart-rending sorrow will finally come to an end."

George hadn't expected her explanation - well, anything like this. A simple "I'm sorry," was insufficient.

"Have you found your first husband?"

Adelaide scuffed the toe of her shoe against a blade of grass.

"Yes."

"Then I guess you have a decision to make..."