The Cry of the Wolf Chapter 90

"I am not worthy of your forgiveness...or this unconditional acceptance of me back into the tribe, least of all your arms, after what I did."

Chief Long Knife wasn't great at speeches, preferring silence. In response to her honesty, he swept Dark Star and his sleeping son into his arms, pressing a tender kiss on her forehead before gently lowering them onto the furs.

Pulling a soft, thick gray fur over her shoulders, he slid under the fur beside her, pulling her impossibly close to him. His fingers stroked her long, silky hair, drawing her head against his broad chest.

"My heart will always beat for you," he whispered into the darkness.

The intensity of his words spoke the truth to Dark Star's heart. There was no way he could have known that no one had ever said those words to her - ever.

Great, salty tears trickled down her cheeks one after another in quick succession, spattering his bronze chest.

"My Star," the chief's tenderness only brought on more tears, her shoulders shaking as she turned, burying her face in the warm fur.

"No," he gently pushed the fur aside, "Don't hide from me. I see your tears and need to hear your heart. Tonight it is only you and I. You are my complete focus, so please, talk to me."

"I'm married to another man," Dark Star spoke through heart-wrenching sobs. "I tried to do what is right - to appease God after He killed my children. Our marriage, after I am already a married woman, was a sin."

In one smooth motion, Chief Long Knife was sitting, drawing his wife closer.

"I didn't know you were married when...but we knew Brown Sparrow was. Her husband..." His voice broke with deep regret before proceeding, "We killed him then married off his wife to one of my men. Whose sin, then, is greater? Brebeuf taught us that God will forgive us for what we have done in the past. Does that forgiveness not cover my taking you from your first husband? Yes, it would."

His words held logic but, for Dark Star, they weren't enough.

"If I had left with my sister, Jaira, my children might still live."

Chief Long Knife was silent. The forest held its own dangers and had they come upon one of their enemy tribes, they never would have made it and yet, he couldn't fault her for blaming herself for the choices she had made. In choosing to remain with him and the tribe she had not only lost her children but her first husband and sister. He knew only too well the agony of loss.

Tracing mesmerizing circles on her shoulder with his strong fingers, he felt her relax beneath his touch, then stiffen once more and pull away.

The chief reached for his child instead, holding him close while giving Dark Star the space she clearly wanted.

"Did you find your husband once you'd left me? Are you assured now of God's forgiveness? Why did you come back?

He deserved the truth, after all.

"I found him and..."

Again she bit her lip, deciding how much to tell the man before her who could, with one strike of his arm, likely kill Gavin. Would he once he heard the truth?

"He wouldn't accept Toris, so Gretjen took him for me and cared for him..."

The chief's frown deepened into a thunderous scowl and Dark Star had only just begun.

"He was safe..." Dark Star ran her hand quickly through her hair, tugging on the ends. "Chief Red Hawk was going to return him to you."

"You gave up our son?"

"I didn't have much choice."

"Because you chose your first husband over your baby..."

It wasn't a question.

"I...I knew you only cared for Toris. He is what you really want. Even your mother told me that I was only taken to give you an heir. I overheard your conversation with Chief Red Hawk about Gentle Doe - that she was still alive and the following day you decided to move the tribe south. What was I supposed to think? It is obvious you led an entire tribe on your hunt to find the woman whom you have never stopped loving. I get it! I really do. I know what it is like to have another husband and think of him. Especially since our children..."

She let her words hang, but it was clear Chief Long Knife fully understood what she was implying.

"There is no place in the tribe for me, not now especially since you have found her."

If Dark Star had expected his reassurance, it wasn't coming. He was floored she had chosen a man - any man - over their child. How was it possible? Why hadn't she just confided her fears in him? Was he such an ogre that he was not approachable?

"Then why...why have you come back to me?"

"Because I'm pregnant. I fear what he will do should he find out and realize the baby isn't his."

Telling the chief she was pregnant with Toris had been far more special, but right now his need to know outweighed waiting for a more favorable moment. Their relationship had changed drastically since their marriage had first borne fruit. Now was not the time to reminisce, although regret twisted her gut.

Chief Long Knife hoped it was too dark for Dark Star to see his face blanche.

"When the baby is born, will you return to him?"

Silence. Deafening silence.

"I realized my mistake within minutes of seeing Gavin again. He is an unfaithful, heartless man. Whether or not you will only ever love Gentle Doe, you have never treated me as he has. My heart was ripped out when Toris was taken from me. The pain was greater than I thought was possible. Toris belongs with you, his father. This baby is yours and needs to remain with you as well. If you will have me, I would be grateful to be within the tribe, joining the other single women and widows. My life would still be better than living out the rest of my days with Gavin. God is the one who gives life. He alone opens the womb. I believe that is my answer from God...I am forgiven."

Smoothing his hand tenderly across her womb, still slightly rounded from Toris' recent birth, a muscle clenched in Chief Long Knife's jaw.

"Thank you for telling me your heart. I wish you had shared it with me earlier, for then I would have been able to assure you of my love. Yes, I wished to see Gentle Doe again. I worried her kidnapper may have been a cruel man to her and my heir. I needed to look at my son's face even just once. My heart is filled with joy at seeing my daughter, but she will never know she is mine. I have struggled with God these past months and with leading this tribe - our enemies - but I refused to speak with you of it, not wishing to cause you further stress. Chief Red Hawk is leading the confederation on raids that will result in a bloodbath to appease the English. I refuse to participate in the murder of the innocent now that I know God. I may wonder at times if He hears my prayers or why He stood back and watched my tribe be wiped out and our children die. I loved them as though they were from my own seed. This is why I led the tribe south - so I would not have the blood of the innocent dripping from my hands. We will not return in the spring. Not until Chief Red Hawk and the others have a change of heart and bring an end to the raids. They are not Wyandotte. It is not in their nature to show mercy. They are rightly named, 'Man-Eaters.'"

Dark Star trembled at his sinister words.

"Please forgive me for not trusting you," she whispered a moment before he drew her into his arms, his kiss assuring her she was more than forgiven.

Breaking their rekindled intimacy, he winked, "Tomorrow is a new day. Welcome home, my Star."