A SECOND CHANCE AT FOREVER Chapter 49: CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

ASHLEY

Having dinner with Ethan when it was supposed to be platonic had always felt a little awkward, but manageable.

Having dinner with Ethan after I asked him out—with the unspoken hope that maybe this could be the moment we shifted from friends to something more—was a hundred times worse. I hadn’t been thinking straight when I blurted out the invitation.

No, scratch that—I hadn’t been thinking straight since Kyle reappeared like a ghost I couldn’t exorcise. He’d been living rent-free in my head for weeks now, haunting me with every memory, every what-if, every damn possibility that could never be.

I wanted to get over him. I needed to. But trying to do that by forcing something with Ethan felt…unfair. To him. To me.

But here we were.

The waiter arrived, placing our plates in front of us with practiced ease. My eyes widened at the sight of the food—a perfectly seared steak resting atop a bed of creamy truffle mashed potatoes, drizzled with a red wine reduction.

Ethan’s plate mirrored mine, though he’d opted for a side of roasted asparagus instead of potatoes. A bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon sat between us, half-filled glasses already waiting.

The aroma alone was enough to make my stomach growl in protest, reminding me that between work and overthinking my entire life, I hadn’t eaten a single thing all day. I picked up my fork, suddenly self-conscious, but Ethan chuckled softly.

“Don’t wait on me,” he said, cutting into his steak. “You look like you might pass out if you don’t eat.”

I huffed a quiet laugh, relaxing just a little as I sliced into my own steak. The first bite melted in my mouth, rich and savory, and I almost moaned in appreciation.

Ethan raised a brow, clearly amused.

“Good?”

“Very,” I admitted, taking a sip of wine to steady my nerves. “This place might be my new favorite.”

“Told you,” he said, leaning back in his chair with that easy grin of his. “I have excellent taste.”

“In food, sure,” I teased, lifting my glass in a mock toast. “Jury’s still out on everything else.”

He chuckled, clinking his glass against mine. “Fair. But hey, I did convince you to have dinner with me. That’s gotta count for something.”

I paused, my smile faltering slightly. “Actually… I asked you.”

“Exactly,” he replied, his grin turning softer. “You asked me.”

There was something in the way he said it, something that made my cheeks heat up despite myself. I focused on my plate, stabbing a piece of asparagus as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

“Okay, smooth talker,” I muttered.

Ethan chuckled, the sound warm and familiar. “So, tell me,” he said, leaning forward with a playful glint in his eye, “how many candles have you accidentally ruined while experimenting with scents?”

I laughed softly, grateful for his attempt to ease the nervous energy crackling in my chest. “Too many to count,” I admitted, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“There’s an entire cabinet in the back room dedicated to ‘failed experiments.’”

“Failed?” he repeated with a grin.

“I bet even your failures smell better than half the overpriced stuff they sell uptown.”

I shook my head, smiling despite myself. “You haven’t smelled the ‘burnt lavender and seaweed’ one. Trust me, it’s not pleasant. My first successful scent was actually made for my ex-husband…”

I stopped the moment I realized what I was about to imply. Ethan got the hint but shrugged it off with a smile.

“I know, right?” he said, his tone light, steering the conversation back to safer water. “ But really, Ash... I’m proud of you. Opening your own store? That’s huge.”

“Thanks,” I whispered,grateful for his attempt at changing the conversation. “It’s terrifying, but... thanks.”

“Terrifying means it matters,” he said softly, holding my gaze.

And just like that, the knot in my chest loosened, just a little.

“So How’s your food?” I asked

“Delicious,” he replied easily, but his gaze never left me. “Though, I have to admit, the company’s even better.”

My fork paused mid-air. I glanced up at him, my heart thudding painfully in my chest. Ethan had always been charming, but tonight felt…different. More intentional. More sincere.

“You’re laying it on thick tonight,” I said lightly, trying to deflect the fluttering in my stomach.

“Maybe,” he admitted with a soft laugh. “Or maybe I’m just finally saying what I’ve been wanting to say for a while.”

I swallowed hard, my appetite suddenly forgotten.

“Ethan…”

My fork paused mid-air, the room’s ambient chatter fading into the background. Ethan had always been charming, but tonight felt… different.

There was an earnestness in his tone that unsettled the careful balance I’d maintained since my divorce. My heart thudded painfully against my ribcage.

“You don’t have to say anything. I know you’ve been through a lot, and I’m not trying to rush you. But I can’t pretend anymore. I care about you, Ashley. More than just as a friend. I really want us to give this a try”

The words hung in the air, delicate and fragile, yet powerful enough to shift the ground beneath me. My mind raced, grasping at the reassurance his confession offered.

This was what I needed—a chance to move forward, to leave behind the past and the heartaches tethered to it. A chance to finally close the chapter on Kyle.

A small, triumphant smile tugged at the corner of my lips, the thought blooming in my mind like a long-awaited sunrise.

Yes. Finally. This is it. The clean slate I craved. The fresh start I deserved.

The answer sat poised on the tip of my tongue, ready to spill out and solidify the future I thought I wanted. But then—like an uninvited whisper in the back of my mind—his face flickered into my thoughts.

Kyle

And suddenly, the idea of moving forward with Ethan—of anyone—felt strange. Foreign. Wrong in ways I couldn’t explain.

Ethan’s hopeful eyes stayed locked on mine, patient and unwavering. He was waiting. For me.

For the words I promised myself I would say.

Just say it, Ashley. Say yes.

The voice in my head urged, louder now, almost pleading. Move on. It’s time.

But instead, I forced a soft, almost apologetic smile. My heart pounded furiously, torn between what I wanted and what I feared. My mouth opened, the beginning of my response tumbling out in a whisper.

“Ethan, I…”

The words caught in my throat, refusing to form, as if my body itself rejected the decision I thought I had made. The walls of the cozy restaurant suddenly felt too close, the warm glow of the hanging lights now casting looming shadows that pressed in from all sides.

And suddenly,  I needed air.

Without thinking, I pushed my chair back, the sound scraping against the hardwood floor louder than it should have been. Ethan’s brows furrowed in confusion, his voice following me as I stood abruptly.

“Ashley? Wait—what’s wrong?”

I couldn’t answer him. I couldn’t even look at him. My breaths grew shallow, the weight of unspoken words choking me as I maneuvered through the maze of tables.

Every step felt both too fast and too slow. All I knew was that I had to get out. Away from the heaviness. Away from him. Away from the swirling mess in my head.

Before I fully realized what was happening, the cool night air hit my face, sharp and bracing, as I stumbled out onto the quiet street. I pressed a hand to my chest, trying to steady the erratic thrum of my heart, the echo of Ethan’s voice still ringing in my ears.

What just happened?

A cab idled nearby, its driver glancing at me through the open window. Without thinking, I approached and muttered my address, my voice barely audible.

The driver nodded, and I sank into the back seat, the leather cool against my skin.

The city lights blurred past, smearing into a kaleidoscope of colors through my tear-filled eyes.

I rested my forehead against the window, the glass cold and unyielding, grounding me as my mind spiraled. The hum of the engine, the distant honks, the muffled chatter of pedestrians—all of it faded into the background, a distant hum compared to the storm raging inside me.

Before I knew it, the cab pulled up to my apartment building. I handed the driver a crumpled bill, not waiting for change, and stumbled out onto the sidewalk.

Once inside my apartment, the silence was deafening. I kicked off my shoes, not caring where they landed, and made my way to my bedroom.

The familiar surroundings offered no comfort; instead, they seemed to mock the turmoil within me.

Tears slipped from my eyes, unbidden and unstoppable. I collapsed onto my bed, clutching the sheets tightly, my knuckles turning white.

Anger bubbled beneath the sadness, a volatile mix that threatened to consume me.

Fuck Kyle

Fuck New York

Fuck moving on

And Fuck the universe for putting me through all this