A SECOND CHANCE AT FOREVER Chapter 87: CHAPTER EIGHTY SEVEN

KYLE

I should have walked away.

Hell, I should have never kissed her in the first place.

But the second my lips touched Ashley’s, every ounce of restraint I had built came crashing down.

She was fire and silk and fucking heaven, and I was a starving man, desperate for a taste of something I had no right to want.

And gods, did I want.

Even now, with the heat of her lips still lingering on mine, my hands still curled into fists, I could barely breathe through the weight of my own restraint. My pulse was a thunderous roar in my ears, my body still aching for the one thing I had forced myself to deny.

Even now, as I sat on her couch, elbows on my knees, hands clasped together like I was holding myself back from reaching for her again, I could still feel her. The press of her lips, the way she trembled against me, the way she wanted me just as badly as I wanted her.

Because no matter how much I wanted to pretend that kiss had meant something more—that it had been proof that what we had wasn’t really gone—it didn’t erase the past. It didn’t erase what I had done.

And it sure as hell didn’t change the fact that tomorrow, she might wake up and regret every second of it.

I ran a hand through my hair, exhaling sharply.

I dragged a hand over my face, trying to steady my breathing.

The room was dimly lit, the only illumination coming from the soft glow of the streetlights outside. The air between us was thick, charged, and Ashley—Ashley was sitting on the other end of the couch, watching me with an unreadable expression.

She licked her lips, as if still tasting me there. 

“Yes, you’re right,” she finally said, her voice softer than I expected. “You’re right to stop us.”

I should have felt relieved.

But I didn’t.

Because there was something about the way she said it, like she had already made up her mind about something else.

My brows pulled together, wary.

Then, she turned fully to me, her chin lifting slightly. “Which is why I came up with an arrangement.”

I frowned. “What arrangement?”

She leaned forward slightly, elbows on her thighs, mirroring my posture. “We both know this isn’t going away,” she said quietly, but firmly. “We both know that no matter how much we pretend we can ignore it, we can’t.”

I swallowed hard, trying not to focus on the way her body still radiated heat so close to mine. Trying not to think about the way she had melted against me just minutes ago, had wanted me just as badly as I wanted her.

She inhaled slowly, as if choosing her next words carefully. “So instead of fighting it, let’s make a deal.”

I narrowed my eyes. “A deal?”

Her lips curved, but there was no amusement behind it. “A temporary arrangement,” she clarified. “No emotions. No expectations. Just…sex”

My entire body went still.

A temporary arrangement.

No emotions. No expectations. Just… sex.

The words slammed into me like a punch to the gut.

I stared at her, my jaw tightening as something sharp and ugly twisted inside my chest.

This wasn’t what I wanted.

I didn’t want just sex with her.

I wanted her. All of her.

I wanted to hold her when she was angry, laugh with her when she was happy, be the person she turned to when she needed someone. I wanted to wake up to her beside me, kiss her just because I could, remind her every damn day how much I loved her.

And she wanted to strip it down to something meaningless?

A temporary arrangement?

Fuck.

I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry.

She was watching me, waiting, her expression unreadable. But I wasn’t blind. I knew Ashley, knew her better than she probably wanted me to.

This wasn’t just about sex.

This was her way of protecting herself, of keeping me at arm’s length while still having some part of me.

She thought this would make it easier. That if she called it nothing, it wouldn’t hurt when it was over.

She was wrong.

Because it would always be more.

For me.

And for her too, no matter how hard she tried to deny it.

I should say no.

I should get up and walk out that door, because agreeing to this meant agreeing to something that would slowly destroy me.

But saying no would also mean no more contact.

No more moments like this. No more chances to be close to her, to remind her of what we had, to prove to her that I wasn’t the same man who had broken her heart.

And that terrified me more than anything else.

Because if I walked away now, I might lose her forever.

I forced a slow breath through my nose, running a hand through my hair.

“Sex,” I said finally, tasting the word on my tongue like it was something bitter.

Ashley nodded once, but I saw it—the flicker of hesitation, the brief flash of something in her eyes that told me this wasn’t easy for her either.

“You think that’s all we can be now?” My voice came out lower, rougher than I intended.

She didn’t answer right away. Instead, she exhaled, tilting her head slightly, her gaze unwavering. “I think…” She hesitated, then shook her head. “I think this is the only way it won’t hurt.”

I stared at her.

That was a lie.

This would hurt. This would wreck me.

But if this was the only way to keep her, to stay in her life long enough to remind her of what we were—of what we could be again—

Then I’d take it.

Even if it killed me.

I leaned forward, closing the distance between us just slightly. Not touching, not yet, but close enough that I could see the way her breathing shifted, the way her pulse jumped at the base of her throat.

“Alright,” I murmured, my voice quiet but firm. “We have a deal.”

Ashley’s lips parted slightly, like she hadn’t expected me to agree so easily. But she recovered quickly, straightening her spine, a cool mask settling over her features.

“Good,” she said. “Then we need to establish the rules.”

Rules.

I should have expected this. If she was going to do something—especially something this reckless—she would want to control every aspect of it.

I crossed my arms, forcing a smirk, even as my chest tightened. “Alright, Freckles. Lay them on me.”

Her eyes darkened slightly at the nickname, but she didn’t take the bait.

“This is a strictly physical arrangement,” she said, her voice smooth and measured. “We don’t have claims on each other’s time outside of sex. So don’t ask me where I am, what I’m doing, or who I’m with when we’re not together.”

I clenched my jaw but said nothing.

“We keep this between us,” she continued. “No one can know. Not your friends—especially not Ryan.”

“Of course I won’t tell anyone,” I said, my voice sharper than I intended.

She studied me for a beat before nodding. “No sleeping over,” she added. “Once we’re done, we depart”

My stomach twisted, but I forced a smirk. “Afraid you’ll get attached if I stay the night?”

Her expression didn’t change. “No, I just like my space.”

Liar.

But I let it go.

“No getting jealous if the other person goes on a date with someone else,” she continued, the words like a knife straight through my fucking ribs.

I gritted my teeth. Jealousy? She thought I could stomach the idea of her with someone else? The thought alone made me murderous.

But I forced a nod. “Fine.

Her lips parted slightly, like she had expected more of a fight.

I leaned in, lowering my voice. “Anything else, Freckles? Any more ways you’d like to remind me that this means nothing to you?”

For the first time, something wavered in her expression. A flicker of hesitation, the smallest crack in her armor.

But it was gone as quickly as it appeared.

“No feelings”  she said finally, and it was the softest rule yet.

And the most impossible.

She exhaled slowly, bracing herself before adding, “We will still remain exes no matter what.”

I stared at her, my pulse thudding in my ears. That was the rule she needed the most, wasn’t it?

Because this wasn’t just about avoiding pain.

This was about keeping me at a distance.

She thought if she reminded herself that I was just her ex, that this was temporary, she wouldn’t fall again.

I exhaled, running a hand through my hair. She thought rules would keep us safe. Keep us from getting hurt.

But I knew the truth.

We were already drowning.

And I was about to let her pull me under.

Fine 

“But just so we’re clear,” I continued, my fingers brushing against her knee, a featherlight touch, “I don’t intend to lose.”

Her brow furrowed. “Kyle—”

I leaned in just enough that she sucked in a breath, my voice a whisper against her lips.

“You might be calling this temporary, but I’m not giving up on you.”

Her body tensed, but she didn’t pull away.

I let my fingers skim down her thigh before standing up, shoving my hands into my pockets before I could grab her and ruin every bit of restraint I had left.

“Go to bed, Freckles,” I murmured, my gaze holding hers. “Because tomorrow? This arrangement of yours starts.”

And I planned on using every second of it to win her back.