From Rejected Mate to Luna Chapter 156

Matthew's POV

The dossier in front of me blurred as my focus drifted. Another border patrol report—the fifth one I'd reviewed today. My index finger tapped an unconscious rhythm against the polished conference table while my thoughts wandered back to Julia.

"Alpha Collins?"

The voice seemed distant, unimportant compared to the memory.

"Matthew?"

James' voice cut through sharper this time, pulling me back to the present. I blinked, suddenly aware of seven sets of eyes fixed on me from around the conference table. How long had I been lost in thought? James' concerned expression told me this wasn't his first attempt to get my attention.

"I'm sorry," I said, straightening in my chair. "You were saying?"

James shot me a look that mixed concern with something else—knowing. He'd been watching me push myself to exhaustion for three weeks now. Eighteen consecutive days of border patrols. Back-to-back meetings. Sleeping in my office more often than my bed.

"I was saying," James continued carefully, "the epidemic has been officially contained across all northwestern packs. The Northern Alliance is proposing a cross-pack meeting next week to share protocols and response strategies for future outbreaks."

I nodded, grateful for the distraction of business. "Good idea. Who will attend?"

"Most packs are sending their medical directors. A few are sending senior Betas familiar with the response efforts." James paused, glancing down at his notes. "Star Shadow and a couple others are sending Alpha representatives."

"Their Alpha will be there?" My voice came out sharper than intended, almost a low growl. The pen between my fingers suddenly felt fragile.

James looked up, his expression neutral but his eyes watchful. "Yes. Along with representatives from Moonstone Ridge and Silver Creek."

A rush of heat surged through my body, my heartbeat instantly accelerating. In my mind, Hati—my wolf—suddenly woke from his sullen silence, pacing restlessly with a low whine that echoed through my consciousness.

*Julia... Kaia... our mate...*

The air in the conference room seemed to thin. I set down my pen carefully, hoping no one noticed the slight tremor in my fingers. My mouth went dry as I forced myself to take a slow, steady breath.

Three weeks. Three weeks since I'd walked away from her with nothing but a letter of explanation. Three weeks of throwing myself into work until I collapsed from exhaustion each night, just to quiet Hati's constant accusations of abandonment. Three weeks of reaching for my phone only to set it down again, telling myself that silence was better for her.

"Matthew?" James' voice cut through my spiraling thoughts. "Should I prepare Dr. Wilson to attend? As our medical director, she's the logical choice."

The rational part of me immediately seized the suggestion. Yes, send Dr. Wilson. Or James. Anyone but me. Avoid seeing her, avoid the hurt in her eyes, avoid the risk of making everything worse.

But Hati snarled in protest, clawing at my insides with a ferocity that made my jaw clench. The thought of being in the same room with her again sent equal waves of terror and longing through me.

What would I say? How would she look at me? Would she even speak to me? Would she have moved on already, focused entirely on her pack? The thought made my chest ache.

I realized everyone was still waiting for my response. James had offered me the perfect out—a professional, logical reason to send someone else. Yet my mind kept circling back to her. To Julia. To what I'd left behind.

I'd told myself I was leaving for her sake. That she needed space to grow into her leadership role without complications. That I was being selfless. But in darker moments, I admitted the truth—I was terrified. Terrified of losing another mate, terrified of the intensity of what I felt, terrified of being responsible for someone again after failing so catastrophically with Rachel.

"I'll go." The words left my mouth before I'd fully decided to speak them.

The room fell silent. James studied me for a long moment, concern and understanding mixing in his expression.

"But Alpha," he said carefully, "the border situation—"

I shook my head, finding my voice again. "The patrols have been doubled, and we've found no new signs in the past five days. Dr. Wilson can handle the day-to-day medical operations." I straightened my shoulders, affecting the confidence I didn't quite feel. "As Alpha, it's my responsibility to personally understand the epidemic response strategies from other packs."

My tone was even, my expression composed, but only Hati knew the storm raging beneath my ribcage. A chaotic blend of anticipation and dread, of hope and fear.

After the meeting adjourned, I stood alone at the window of the conference room, staring in the direction of Star Shadow territory miles away. For the first time in three weeks, I allowed myself to fully imagine seeing her again. The thought sent a rush of nervous energy through my limbs.

Would she still smell like vanilla? Would her eyes still flash with that fierce intelligence? Would she hate me for leaving?

Hati paced anxiously in my mind, both elated and apprehensive. We'd see her again. Our mate. Our Julia.

But what if she'd decided she was better off without me?

I exhaled slowly, watching my breath fog the window. In one week, I would know. In one week, I would face what I'd been running from.

In one week, I would see Julia again.