From Rejected Mate to Luna Chapter 22

Matthew's POV

"Julia?" My voice was barely audible, shock and confusion warring inside me.

She smiled—not Rachel's smile, but something uniquely hers. Softer, more hesitant, but genuine. "Matthew, you don't have to be alone forever."

Her words hit me like a physical blow. I stumbled backward, shaking my head. "No. I can't—"

I jolted upright in bed, heart hammering against my ribs like it was trying to break free. Sweat drenched my body, my sheets twisted around my legs from thrashing. The room was dark and empty—no Rachel, no Julia. Just me and the crushing weight of grief and confusion.

As I shifted, I felt a sticky dampness on my thighs and the sheets beneath me. My breath caught as I glanced down, realizing what it was—evidence of the dream, of my release, staining the fabric and my skin. A wave of shame hit me, but for a fleeting second, I felt a twisted sense of relief.

At least in the dream, when it happened, it was Rachel I was with, not Julia. That thought, brief as it was, felt like a small mercy amidst the guilt.

My hand went to my chest, pressing against the ache there as I tried to steady my breathing. Every night was the same: dreams of Rachel, memories twisted by my subconscious into cruel reminders of what I'd lost. But this... this was new. Julia had never appeared in my dreams before.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, planting my feet on the cold floor to ground myself in reality. The digital clock on my nightstand read 3:27 AM.

My eyes fell on the framed photograph beside the clock—Rachel at her high school graduation, her golden hair peeking out from beneath her cap as she held her diploma aloft with a triumphant smile. She looked so young, so full of promise and dreams for the future we'd planned together.

Her golden hair caught the sunlight, her blue eyes crinkled at the corners with joy. The sight of her hit me with fresh pain, amplified by the lingering images from my dream.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to her smiling face, guilt washing over me in waves. "I shouldn't have... I didn't mean to..."

The words died in my throat. What was I apologizing for? Having a dream? Being attracted to someone else after years of mourning? Rachel was gone—a fact my waking mind had accepted long ago, even if my heart refused to let go.

Hati stirred in my mind, my wolf sensing my distress. "It was just a dream," he offered cautiously.

"It wasn't just anything," I snapped back. "I saw her face change into Julia's. What the hell does that mean?"

"Maybe it means you're finally healing," Hati suggested. "Rachel wouldn't want you to be alone forever. And this time, it was her in the dream when... it happened. But next time, it might not be. You need to face what you’re feeling, before it tears you apart."

I growled, low in my throat. "Don't tell me what Rachel would want. You didn't know her like I did."

"I knew her exactly as you did," Hati reminded me quietly. "We shared the same love for her and her wolf."

I had no response to that. He was right—Hati had suffered Rachel's loss as deeply as I had. The bond between a werewolf and their wolf was too intimate for anything else. When I loved, he loved. When I grieved, he grieved.

But while I had spent years drowning in my guilt and sorrow, Hati had been pushing me to move forward, to consider the possibility of finding happiness again. I'd resisted him at every turn, clinging to Rachel's memory like a life raft in a stormy sea.

And now this dream... Julia White's face replacing Rachel's, her voice telling me I didn't have to be alone. Was my subconscious finally siding with Hati? Or was it simply my baser instincts responding to an attractive woman who had captured my interest?

I dragged a hand down my face, feeling the stubble on my jaw. Whatever it was, it felt like a betrayal. Rachel deserved better than to be replaced in my dreams, in my heart. She'd been my everything—my mate, my partner, my future. Losing her had torn me apart, left me a shell of who I used to be.

How could I even think about another woman when I still couldn't walk past Rachel's favorite hiking trail without breaking down? When I still kept her clothes in our closet, unable to give them away? When I still reached for her in the night, only to find empty sheets?

The photograph of Rachel seemed to stare back at me accusingly. I carefully turned it face-down on the nightstand, unable to bear her joyful expression while thoughts of Julia lingered in my mind.

With a sigh, I stood up, the damp sheets clinging uncomfortably to my skin. I couldn’t leave the bed like this. I stripped the stained sheets off, balling them up and tossing them into the laundry basket in the corner of the room. I grabbed a fresh set from the closet, the mundane task giving me something to focus on, a brief distraction from the turmoil in my mind. As I remade the bed, smoothing out the new sheets, the weight of everything still pressed down on me.

"I'm not ready," I whispered to the empty room. Not ready to let go, not ready to move on. Not ready to face what it might mean if Julia White was more than just a nursing student who had caught my eye.

I lay back down, knowing sleep would elude me for the rest of the night. The ceiling above me held no answers, just shadows and silence. Outside my window, the moon was hidden behind clouds—even the Moon Goddess had turned her face away from me.

Tomorrow I would need to focus on pack business, on being the Alpha my people deserved. I would need to push away these confusing feelings, this unsettling dream.

But in the darkness of my bedroom, with only Hati as witness, I allowed myself to wonder: what if Julia's words in my dream were right? What if I didn't have to be alone forever?