The 5-Time Rejected Gamma And The Lycan King Chapter 36

“Woah woah woah. Lucy, slow down. What do you mean? What are you saying?” Toby asked, eyes in pure panic. What did he just do? Will she be okay to fight?

Lucianne shook her head and declared firmly, “I don’t want to be like them. There’s no way I’m going to give up this part of my life.”

“Lucy, calm down. Don’t say anything rash.” Toby was pleading now. He knew that Lucianne was considering rejecting Xandar to avoid turning into a Lycan and having to give up fighting alongside the werewolves.

“There’s nothing rash about it, Toby. I’ve been doing this forever. And I love it. I’m not giving it up over a mate bond.” She said confidently.

“You’re talking about a mate bond, Lucy! The most sacred gift from our Goddess.” Toby said.

Lucianne smirked sadly, “I never asked for this. If anything, I asked for the opposite. Besides, I survived five, what’s one more?”

“Goddess, he’s gonna kill me.” Toby uttered ominously to himself.

Lucianne said, “Don’t worry, Toby. Xandar will have to go through me before he gets to you.”

Toby whisper-yelled, “I was talking about my own Alpha, goddess dammit! The King is your problem!”

“Gee, thanks.” Lucianne said sarcastically.

Toby took a moment to calm down before he said, “Lucy, listen. I’m not in a position to decide for you but…” he sighed, “You might want to give that a little more thought. He seems to be good to you. We all see it, and you just said so yourself. I’m not saying this to avoid a war with the Lycans or for Alpha Tate not to kill me. As a friend who’s known you for…arguably long enough, I really think you should really think about it. You won’t lose us, not completely.”

Lucianne sighed. Toby was right. Xandar was good to her. But she had only known him for two days. Was she expected to throw her entire life away just because he was her mate? It sounded so unfair. He got to keep his life if she chose to be with him. No, she won’t give in! She didn’t care if she lost him. She was a wolf before she was a mate or a Queen. She could fight. She could protect packs and save lives. She was not going to give all these up for some stupid mate bond that she explicitly ask not to have.

But there was a part of her choice that made her sad too. She has grown fond of Xandar. If she were being honest with herself, she would admit that she started falling in love with him when they talked in his villa. He made her feel comfortable to speak freely about the most painful parts of her life. In the past, she never allowed herself to tear up or cry when she talked about her rejections with her friends, not even with Juan and Hale. She always tried to speak about it lightly and quickly, not wanting to make them feel uncomfortable. They already knew she was hurt so she didn’t see why she had to show them any more than they already knew.

With Xandar, it felt different. He made her feel safe to express her emotions, even if she herself found it uncomfortable. He made her feel valued and worthy, not just as a warrior but as a person, with or without her fighting skills. On his lap, she didn’t feel the need to keep her guard up. The way he touched her and held her made her feel loved and wanted in a way that she had never experienced. His kisses were as electrifying as they were soothing. Then there were those things he said to her which made her heart skip a beat.

But she also knew that since they met, she had been holding back. She had been cautious with him for fear that her heart could not take another rejection. Seeing that he was the Lycan King, she was certain, dead certain, that he would reject her for a whole litany of reasons. She wasn’t a Lycan; she didn’t have Alpha blood; she wasn’t very beautiful even for a wolf. And then, there was that mouth of hers which tends to speak whatever she felt and thought, regardless of how it affected the listeners. She didn’t care what people thought of her, which was why she dared speak to all three Cummings and to Greg the way she did. She wouldn’t intentionally walk up to a Lycan and pick a fight. She wasn’t stupid or reckless. But if they brought the fight to her, she would not hesitate to defend herself.

She chuckled darkly as she thought about how the mate bond has successfully possessed the King, the most powerful creature of both species. ‘Oh, Moon Goddess. You’ve really upped your game this time, didn’t you?’ She mocked. She wasn’t that affected, probably because she had enough practice resisting the mate bond from the five mates before Xandar.

Her heart felt heavy at the thought of losing him to keep the part of her life she didn’t want to give up. When she recalled Xandar telling her that he loved her the night before, she could no longer control the tears streaming down her cheeks.

Lucianne wiped them away hastily and turned her thoughts toward the Jewel pack. She had to focus on the fight. The whole pack was counting on them.

‘Lucy, what’s wrong?’ Juan mind-linked.

She looked in his direction, and saw that he and Alpha Tate next to him were looking at her in concern.

She smiled meekly and linked back, ‘It’s nothing, Alpha Juan. I was just thinking about the warriors that the Jewel pack had just lost.’

‘Nothing else?’

‘No.’ she lied.