The Dragon Queen Selection Chapter 146

LIRA

I stared at them.

"You're  not at liberty to.. I am a Lady of the Dragon Queen Selection. I am not a spy."

"Our orders are clear."

"Whose orders?"

No answer.

I wanted to scream. The very guards who used to let me come in willingly, without even asking what I wanted now stopped me. 

Instead, I turned and walked away.

\------------------------------------------------

I searched for an hour.

The training yards. The library. The great hall. The gardens.

Everywhere.

Nowhere.

Every guard I asked gave me the same response: *I don't know, my lady.* 

Every servant looked away when I approached. Every courtier shrugged, smiled, and offered nothing. It was like he had vanished.

Like the palace had swallowed him whole.

*Where are you?*

*Where are you, Cassian?*

*I need to tell you the truth.*

*I need to tell you everything.* 

Please. 

———————————-

I found Evander in the east corridor. He was standing by a window, staring out at the gardens, his profile silhouetted against the pale morning light. He looked tired. Hollow. Like someone had carved out his insides and left the shell behind.

"Evander?" He turned.

His eyes, those bright, earnest blue eyes, were red-rimmed. 

His jaw was tight.

"Lira." 

I stopped a few feet away.

"Are you all right?"  

He laughed, a short, bitter sound."No. No, I'm not all right." 

He turned back to the window. 

"I see you haven't heard about it... My family  rejected our marriage proposal."

"I heard." I murmured. I didn't want to deal with this right now, but I couldn't leave Evander alone like that. 

"She said you were *inconsequential*. That you bring nothing to the family." 

His hands curled into fists at his sides. 

"She said I should marry Lady Elora instead. For the alliance. For their wealth." 

"I know."

Evander turned to face me.

"I'm sorry, Lira. I'm so sorry. I thought. I *hoped*. that if I presented it as a done deal, she would have no choice but to accept. She accepted us courting, so I thought..." 

He shook his head. 

"I was wrong." He murmured. 

I stepped closer.

"Don't apologize."

"But...Evander." I touched his arm. 

"I knew it would happen. From the beginning. I knew the Queen would never let you marry me."

He stared at me.

"Then why did you stay? Why did you let me court you? Why did you let me hope?" 

Because I needed to stay in the palace. I wasn't sure I'd last long enough in the Selection. I needed you .Because I needed to destroy your family.Because I am a liar, and you were a means to an end.I couldn't say any of that.

So I said nothing.Evander's expression shifted, confusion, hurt, something darker that I didn't want to name.

"You never loved me," he said quietly.

"Evander..." 

"You never loved me. Did you?"

I opened my mouth.

Closed it.

Tell him the truth.

He deserves the truth.

At least some of it.

"I cared about you. Deeply," I said. "I still care about you. But love..." I shook my head. 

"I don't know if I know how to love anyone. When I got to the palace you were so good and kind to me. You were my friend. I care about you as a friend Evander." 

Evander looked at me for a long moment.

Then he nodded.

Slowly.

Like he was accepting something he'd always known.

"I see," he said.

"Evander..." 

"It's all right." He stepped back, putting distance between us. 

"I should have seen it. The signs were there. You were always... distant. Even when you were in my arms."

Not always, I thought.

Not with Cassian.

With Cassian, I was never distant.

With Cassian, I was on fire.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"You said that already."

"I mean it."

"I know." He turned back to the window. 

"It doesn't change anything."

We stood in silence.

The morning light grew brighter.

And then I saw him.

Cassian.

Walking across the courtyard below, his dark hair disheveled, his coat unbuttoned, his stride fast and purposeful. A group of men tailed behind him.

He was heading toward the east tower.

Away from me.

"Cassian!" I called.

He didn't stop.

Didn't turn.

Didn't even slow.

"Cassian!" Nothing.

He disappeared through a doorway, and the world seemed to dim.

He ignored me.

He actually ignored me.

Why would he ignore me?

Something was wrong.

Something was very, very wrong.

"Don't take it personally," Evander said. His voice was flat. Tired. 

"He's been in a rotten mood since he came back from Vale."

The world tilted. I grabbed the windowsill to steady myself.

Vale.

He went to Vale.

He went to the Vale estate.

"He went to Vale?" My voice came out strangled.

Evander frowned. 

"You didn't know? Your grandfather sent a letter. Something about a vision. Cassian went to investigate." 

He shrugged. 

"He's been different since he returned. Distant. Angry. He won't talk to anyone about it."

Lord Vale sent a letter. The real Lord Vale? 

Cassian went to investigate.

He went to the Vale estate.

He saw the crumbling walls.

The decaying gardens.

The portrait of the real Lady Lira.

Her tomb.

He knows.

He knows the truth.

He knows who I am.

He knows what I've done.

He knows everything.

"Lira?"  Evander's voice sounded far away.

"Lira, you're pale. Are you all right?"

I couldn't breathe.

The room was spinning.

Cassian knows.

Cassian knows.

Cassian knows.

"Lira!"

Evander's hands caught me as my knees buckled. He lowered me to the floor, his face pale with alarm.

"Someone get a physician!" he shouted.

"No." I grabbed his arm. 

"No physician. I'm fine. I just—I just need a moment."

"You almost fainted."

"I didn't eat breakfast."

"That's not..." 

"I said I didn't eat breakfast," I repeated. 

"I'm fine. Really."

Evander stared at me.His eyes searched my face, looking for something I couldn't give him.

"You're lying," he said quietly.

Yes, I thought. 

I always am.

"I'm fine," I said again. 

I stood.

My legs were shaking, but I forced them to hold me.

"I need to go."

"Lira..." 

"I need to go."

I walked away.  

Didn't look back.

Didn't run.

Didn't collapse.

Not yet.

——————————-

My room was dark. I locked the door, pressed my back against it, and slid down to the floor.

'Lira?' Luna's voice was soft, worried. 

'What happened?' 

"I found Evander."

'Did he hurt you?' 

"No. He told me something." I pressed my hands over my face. 

"Cassian went to Vale. To the Vale estate."

Silence.

'He knows the truth?' 

"Yes."

"Evander said Cassian has been in a rotten mood since he returned. That he won't talk to anyone about what he found." 

I laughed, a broken, hysterical sound. "He knows, Luna. He has to know. Why else would he ignore me? Why else would he..." 

I stopped.

He ignored me.

I called his name, and he walked away.

He didn't even look at me.

He knows.

He knows who I am.

And he hates me.

He must hate me.

'Lira.' 

Luna's voice was gentle. 

'You do not know that.' 

"I know."

'You do NOT know. Not for certain.' 

"Then why won't he talk to me? Why won't he see me? Why did he walk away like I didn't exist?"

Luna didn't have an answer.

Neither did I.

I sat on the floor of my dark room, my back against the door, and tried not to fall apart.

Everything I've been running from... It's all about to catch up with me.

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The quill trembled in my hand.

I had been staring at the blank parchment for what felt like hours, the words trapped somewhere between my chest and my throat. Outside, the sun had begun its slow descent toward the horizon, painting my room in shades of gold and amber.

Luna curled on the desk beside me, her silver eyes watchful.

‘You are taking a long time to write a short letter.’

"I'm trying to find the right words."

‘The right words? You are warning your brother that the prince knows everything and that they should stop the attack. How many words does that require?’

I set down the quill.

"You don't understand."

'Then explain it to me.'

I looked at her, at the small white dragon who had become my confidant, my conscience, my closest friend.

"When Callum gets this letter, he'll think I betrayed him."