Why You Should Never Rescue Stray Demons Chapter 119

**OZ**

Portaling while holding another person is… Disorienting. Wrong. One second, Kacia is warm in my arms, her weight tucked safely against my chest. The next, she isn’t. Not because I let go. I never let go. But because in that strange in between place, I don’t have arms. I don’t have a body. There’s nothing to hold her with, nothing to ground me. It feels like falling without falling, like my insides are being pulled through a keyhole while the rest of me is stretched thin across a chasm. I know I’m still wrapped around her, but I can’t feel her. And that absence gnaws at me, a hollow ache that feels far too much like loss. Then, just as suddenly, she’s there again. Weight and warmth slam back into me, my arms solid, her scent in my nose. The world knits itself together, and we stumble back into reality, her living room, safe and familiar. I adjust my grip instantly, both arms locked around her. She sways, unsteady, her knees threatening to give. She looks pale, unsettled, but not broken down the way she was before. No vomiting this time, no collapse. Despite the new magic still buzzing violently inside her, or maybe because of it, she’s coping better. That small victory feels huge. I guide her gently to the couch and ease her down, never letting go until she’s settled against the cushions.

“While I don’t enjoy that you’re feeling unwell, I do appreciate that it gives me a good excuse to fuss over you. You’d probably not let me get away with it if you were feeling more like yourself.” I murmur, brushing stray hair from her face with tender fingers. She gives me a strange look, her eyes sharp despite her exhaustion. 

“That is some weird spell you’re under.” She remarks. I frown, unsettled. It’s strange, I don’t FEEL spelled. I just feel like me. That’s the unsettling part. Everything I say, everything I do, it feels natural. I’ve wanted to say these things all along and just stopped holding them back. Tarish and Kacia insist I’m under a spell, and I believe Kacia, I always believe her. But even knowing it, I can’t separate what’s the spell from what’s just… Me. I feel more like myself than I have in weeks. And maybe that’s the worst part. Because the only difference I can see is that, right now, I’m not holding anything back. I lower myself onto the couch beside her, close enough that our sides press together. She leans into me instinctively, and I pull her closer, protective, careful. My arm curls around her shoulders, my palm rubbing gentle circles against her arm. My tail drapes across her lap, coiling there possessively, as if daring anyone, or anything, to take her away again.

I let out a slow breath, resting my cheek against the crown of her head. Her warmth seeps into me, her citrus sweet scent filling my lungs. Whatever this spell is, I can’t bring myself to hate it right now. I don’t know if what I’m feeling is because of the spell itself, or because I know I’m spelled, and everyone around me expects me to be honest and open. Maybe that expectation is the leash loosened just enough for me to run free. For once, I don’t have to guard my words, second guess what slips past my mouth, or smother every instinct that pulls me toward her. It’s… Kind of a relief. For the first time in far too long, I feel like I’m allowed to show her everything I’ve been holding back. Every thought, every touch, every truth I usually bury. Lately, it feels like I’ve been walking a tightrope, holding myself back from her, biting down on words I ache to say, reigning in touches and affection that I crave to give. Constantly aware that one slip could make everything worse. But now? Now it’s easy. There’s no fight, no restraint. Just her in my arms, where she belongs, and the freedom to tell her so. I might regret it all later. But damn it, I don’t want to stop. I press a kiss into her hair, my voice soft. 

“You know, sometimes I imagine what it would be like if things were different. If I didn’t have this nightmare curse hanging over me.” I grumble. The words pour out faster than I can stop them. 

“I imagine just… Staying here. In this home you’ve made for yourself. It’s neat, organized, every book and cup exactly where it belongs, because of course it is. You’d scold me if I left my boots in the wrong spot, or if I moved one of your mugs to the wrong shelf.” I chuckle faintly against her hair. 

“And I wouldn’t even mind. I think I’d enjoy it, watching you fuss, pretending not to smile when you fix everything again.” I say with a smile. The picture grows clearer, and my chest aches with the weight of it. 

“I imagine you meeting my family. Spending hours with my sister, the two of you talking so fast I couldn’t keep up even if I tried. Teasing my brother until he’s ready to storm out of the room, then reeling him back in with that smile of yours.” I sigh and my arms tighten around her, my tail curling more securely over her lap. 

“They’d adore you. They’d see what I see.” I say confidently. For a moment, it feels real. Like if I close my eyes, I could open them to that life, one where everything is perfect. But the ache follows fast, sharper than claws. My throat tightens as the weight of it crushes down. 

“And then I remember…” My voice cracks. 

“That it’s impossible. That no matter how badly I want it, I’ll have to leave. And the thought of walking away from you after knowing what this could be like…” I bury my face against her neck, desperate to hide how much it hurts.

“It’s unbearable…” I sigh miserably. 

The silence that follows is suffocating, filled only by my heartbeat and her steady breath. The picture of it all lingers in my head and it feels so real I almost believe it. But the ache digs deeper, sharper, until the words tear out of me before I can stop them.

“Sometimes, it almost makes me wish I’d never met you. Because then I wouldn’t know what I’m missing out on. I wouldn’t know what it feels like to want something I can never have.” I whisper, my voice raw. The truth of it guts me. My arms lock tighter around her, my tail flicking across her lap, like I could hold her hard enough to make the impossible possible. I press my forehead to her shoulder, eyes closing against the sting of it. For a moment, there’s only silence. Then Kacia shifts, her hand sliding up to cup the back of my neck. She tilts my face towards her until I have to look at her. 

“Don’t you dare say that.” She scolds angrily, causing me to jump in shock at her sudden volume. 

“I’d rather have this, whatever it is, however long it lasts, than nothing at all. I don’t care if it hurts. I don’t care if it’s complicated. I’m glad I met you, Oz. And you don’t get to wish that away.” She lectures, but her thumb brushes against my jaw, gentle, grounding. Her tone softens.

“You matter too much to me for that.” She adds. The words hit harder than any spell could. And for a second, I can’t breathe. Kacia’s quiet for a long moment, her fingers still resting lightly against my jaw. When she finally speaks, her voice is soft, almost reluctant.

“I think I finally get it, your feelings… Why you feel like you have to leave. If this is how you honestly feel about it all… Then I’ve been… Horribly unfair.” She admits. Her cheeks flush, and she lets out a little sigh. 

“All this time I’ve been teasing you, arguing with you like it’s some game…” She shakes her head at herself. 

“I didn’t realize I was hurting you so much.” She says, her tone guilty. The admission makes my chest tighten. I want to tell her she’s not done anything wrong, that I love being with her. Every second. Then she takes a breath, steadying herself. 

“Oz… You know I love you… And because I love you, I’m going to ask you to do something for me.” She starts.

“Anything.” I answer immediately. She gives a sad smile. 

“Stay here. Watch a movie, take a nap, or take the world’s longest shower, I don’t care. But I need you to hang out by yourself until the spell starts to wear off. I’m going to go to my room, and I’ll stay there for a few hours.” She continues firmly,

“What?” The word bursts out of me, sharp and immediate. 

“No! I don’t want you to leave. I’d much rather spend time with you.” The thought of her walking away, even just to another room, feels unbearable. Kacia sighs, brushing her thumb across my cheek one last time. 

“I know. But I don’t want you to regret all of this later. So I’m going to attempt to respect your privacy, even if you don’t feel like it’s necessary right now.” She explains. I shake my head, desperate to hold onto her. 

“Princess-” I start. But she leans in quickly, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek. Then she slips out of my arms before I can stop her, standing and retreating toward the hall. I reach out after her, my tail twitching in agitation, but she only gives me one last, small, pained smile before disappearing into her room.