Why You Should Never Rescue Stray Demons Chapter 132

**IZZY**

The library is burning. I suppose I expected it. Things don’t last. Houses crumble, trees fall, even kingdoms break. Everything ends. Except me. I don’t end. Not yet. Maybe not for a very long time. Maybe never. Though sometimes I wonder… Maybe even I will stop existing one day. I think that might be nice. Quiet. Or different at least. Still… It’s a shame. I’m supposed to follow the one who hurts the most. That’s my rule. But tonight, everyone hurts. Kacia with her shaking hands. Oz with his growling breath. Clarence muttering, his eyes red. Even Tracey, though he tries to hide it behind teeth and jokes that don’t sound right anymore. All of them ache. It’s too much. Too noisy. I don’t know who to go to. So I just stand still. It isn’t the worst thing I’ve seen. Not by far. But the way they cry, the way their faces crumple, it makes the air thick. Like the world is heavier here. A book draws my eye. The Whispering Woods. Vidar’s book. The one he’s been reading to me. I like listening to him. His voice is slow and careful, like he wants each word to land in exactly the right place. The story sounded important. I wanted to know the ending. He promised it was a happy one. I never see happy endings. I only see the worst parts of everything. The fire curls at the edges of the cover, blackening it, and I frown. If it burns, that’s it. Gone. Will I ever find another one? Even if I did, it wouldn’t sound the same without Vidar’s voice. I can’t read it myself. I’ve tried before. Letters twist and swim away from me, like little bugs running across a page. I don’t know why. I can only listen. Watch. Not learn. Maybe because I’m frozen. I never grow. Never change. I’ve watched people get older, get taller, get wiser, but I stay exactly the same. The same curls, the same voice, the same little hands. I can watch forever, but I don’t learn the way they do. Nothing new sticks. I don’t change. I’m always me, the same me, as if the world pressed pause on me a long time ago and forgot to hit play again. The flames grab at the spine, and I sigh. I can’t move it. I can’t move anything. My hands slide through wood and stone like they’re smoke. Always. It’s very annoying. Then a hand does what I can’t. A big, strong hand, more stone than skin. Vidar’s hand. He pulls the book close, beating out the fire with gentle swats.

“Saved it.” He mutters softly. 

“Vidar, you’re still here.” I say, tilting my head up at him. He smiles down at me. But it’s not a real smile. It’s one of those sad ones where the mouth lies but the eyes don’t. People do that a lot, but I’ve never understood why.

“And so are you.” He says softly. 

“Why don’t you go outside with the others? You don’t need to watch this place fall apart.” He suggests.

“Yes I do.” I answer without thinking. The words come out on their own. They always do. He looks around at the flames that climb higher, his mouth a grim line. 

“Well… It can’t hurt you, I suppose. But maybe we should find somewhere a little cooler.” He says uncomfortably. 

“Oh. Right. Fire is hot, isn’t it?” I ask, though it doesn’t feel hot to me. Just bright. 

“Why are you still here, Vidar?” I question. His sigh is deep, heavy. 

“I can’t leave. I’m bound to the library. Protecting it is my duty. Always has been.” He explains. 

“But it’s burning.” I frown, rocking back on my heels. 

“Is that why you’re sad?” I wonder aloud. 

“Partly.” He hesitates, then continues.

“But mostly because I can’t go with them. With my friends.” He adds quietly. His eyes crease, then he gives me a softer smile. One that feels more real. 

“Still… Talking to you helps. More than you know.” He tells me. That makes me blink. I didn’t DO anything. My presence never changes things. I’m only here to watch. Always watching. But somehow… It really does make him feel a little better. I can tell. His pain is less. So I smile back. All of a sudden, the ceiling groans above us, a terrible, cracking sound that shakes the floor. Then it falls. The beams and stone come crashing down. They pass straight through me, but they smash straight into Vidar. He makes a soft grunt, and then silence. Dust and smoke swirl thick, hiding him from sight. I kneel down, peering at the pile. He’s buried. I can still feel him, though, his sorrow, his pain humming faintly under the rubble. He’s alive. But not for long. People can’t live under that much weight. Not with fire everywhere. I should go. I know how this ends. That’s my job. To watch, then move on. There will always be more, another tragedy, another hurt to follow. But for some reason… I’m reluctant to go. 

The library finally falls all the way down. There isn’t anything left now. Just piles of hot rocks and broken wood and smoke that makes everything look like fog. The humans come with their loud trucks and big flashing lights. They bring water and spray it everywhere, and the fire hisses like an angry cat. It goes out faster than I thought it would. I expected it to fight longer. I go to watch everyone else. After the fire is mostly out, people move like they’re lost. They run here and there, shouting names. Hands on shoulders, hands on heads, lots of hands. Kacia clings to Oz. Clarence stands and sits and stands again, and his face is all broken. Everyone is panicked. It sounds like a beehive. They’re all talking about Vidar. They have to find him. They need to find him. Because if they don’t, he’ll die. I’m pretty sure of it. When the library fell, really fell, his pain went quiet. It’s still there, but not loud anymore. More like… Muffled. I’ve seen that before. When people get too shocked, they go all still. Sometimes they just stare at nothing and don’t talk. That’s what he feels like now. Numb. At first, everyone is searching all wrong. Running in different directions, looking in the same places twice. Clarence keeps stumbling and mumbling things no one understands. Kacia is crying against Oz. Tracey is swearing. It’s messy. 

Then Tracey surprises me. He stops swearing and yelling and he gets very serious. His voice changes. It gets sharper, calmer, like a teacher telling children what to do. He points at places and tells people where to search, and they listen. He makes them line up and spread out. He tells them not to waste time. It’s strange. He seems more calm than the rest of them and he helps them get organised. I suppose he’s more calm because he is used to sad things, like me. I know Tracey. I’ve seen him a lot. He’s much older than he acts and he often lies about his age. He pretends to be silly and young, but he isn’t. He’s lost lots of people before, more than the others can even imagine. And every time, it still hurts him. I asked him once why he keeps making friends if it hurts so much to lose them. He told me, very serious, that the day it stops hurting will be the day he walks into the sun. Because if it doesn’t hurt, that means he doesn’t care anymore. He said that the pain and suffering means that he is loved, that he can love other people. I think about that a lot. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me. I stopped caring. It hurt too much, so I just… Turned it off. I watch, but I don’t feel the way they do. And if Tracey is right, then maybe I’m broken. Does that mean that there is no longer a purpose for me? What IS my purpose? Watching? But I don’t share the things I see and I don’t change anything… Except… Vidar. This time I did make a difference. Didn’t I? I made his pain less. And when I think about him, it feels different. I do care. He read to me. He smiled at me, even when he was hurting. He tried to protect me, even though I don’t need protecting. He always treated me like I mattered. He was my shield. Is that why he was smiling at me before? Even though he was suffering? To try to protect me again? I think so… It’s strange. It’s not my place to interfere with the living. But what am I supposed to do when the living interfere with me first? And if he dies… No one will read to me again. I’ll never know the end of Whispering Woods. No one will worry about me or check in on me. Not that I need it, I’ve existed without those things for a very long time. But I like them. I continue to watch as everyone searches for Vidar. They are working but it is slow. I don’t think they will find him in time. I know I am supposed to just watch. But for the first time in my existence… I’m finding it hard to do nothing.