Beneath the Perfect Disguise, I Quietly Slipped Away Chapter 13

I never knew Connor had such capability for pestering.

He always cared about his image and never did things that lowered his status.

A perfectly good client, yet he demanded to work in our office.

He deliberately, calmly appeared in my work and life.

I wouldn't think he went to such great lengths because he loved me that much.

It was just his pride acting up, temporarily unable to accept being dumped.

But that day, I walked past the pantry and heard colleagues discussing me.

Saying I had such good luck, having two top-tier men pursuing me.

They were betting on who I would end up with.

Every colleague present bet on Lucian.

There were many reasons.

Like Lucian shutting down a racist for me in front of hundreds of people.

Like someone seeing Lucian and me "staying late" alone in the office.

Like someone seeing Lucian and me going to a re-screening of a Chinese movie.

Crash—!

The sound of a cup smashing on the floor.

It sucked everyone's attention like a magnet to the other door of the pantry.

Connor stood there.

He met my gaze from a distance.

The man who was usually cold-blooded and dominant looked desolate and panicked right now.

Connor used his status as a client to force me to have dinner with him.

He gripped the glass, his voice hoarse.

"This past year... I was terrible to you, wasn't I?"

Connor's long eyelashes trembled slightly like butterfly wings.

"It's my fault. I didn't handle the boundaries with Madison well."

"But I fired her now."

"I didn't cheat. You can't... sentence me to death just for that."

"Just like I know..."

He paused, his tone feigning lightness.

"There's nothing between you and Lucian either. Right?"

It turns out there really is no true empathy in this world.

Only when you are standing in the blizzard yourself do you know how biting and unbearable it is.

I observed his expression.

For the first time, I felt a sense of release.

But I didn't want to drag Lucian into our mess.

I said:

"It doesn't matter."

"Doesn't matter? It's 'doesn't matter' again?! Then what the fuck is important to you?!"

Connor's voice rose, drawing sideways glances from many people in the cafe.

He had always been proper from head to toe; he had never lost his composure like this.

Connor’s Adam's apple rolled dryly a few times before he calmed his emotions.

Like a drowning man grabbing the last piece of driftwood.

He took out the couple's ring I didn't want.

Like a gambler putting his last chip on the negotiation table.

"You said before... you would trade this ring for a wedding ring. You said that counts forever."

"Let's go back. Let's get married. Okay?"

He knew better than anyone how much I wanted to marry him.

With one sentence—"The company doesn't allow office romance, the timing isn't right"—I became his underground girlfriend without status for years.

Waiting year after year.

Back then, when I was targeted by Marcus at the company, I used to mutter grievances at home:

"When I become the boss's wife, I'm going to scare the hell out of the colleagues, especially Marcus."

My tone was dejected then:

"Connor... year after year, when will the timing you talk about ever arrive?"

But now, hearing the "proposal" I had dreamed of—

There wasn't a single ripple in the lake of my heart.

I met his earnest gaze and took the ring.

I stated calmly:

"On our sixth anniversary, I called you many, many times. You didn't answer."

Connor spoke urgently:

"I slept in the office those few days. Madison came to drop something off, but we didn't—"

His explanation stopped abruptly, like a beast having its throat choked.

Because I said lightly:

"That night, Marcus almost raped me."

Connor looked like all the blood was instantly drained from him.

His face was so pale it was terrifying.

His thin lips opened and closed several times.

Like he had been critically injured, he couldn't say a single word.

I whispered:

"It's okay. A passerby saved me."

I think I'm kinder than Connor.

In the past, when I was hysterical like that, he wouldn't even offer a single explanation.

But I was tired.

I have my life.

I just wanted to make everything clear.

So I said:

"I really hated you that night."

"Hated how high and mighty you were, hated your indifference."

"But hating and hating, I realized I hated the weak version of myself that stayed by your side."

So watching the other person lose their soul for you feels like this.

But having reached this point, there are no survivors in love.

Only mutual destruction.

I dissected myself, like taking a scalpel to my chest to reveal my heart:

"Actually, the biggest obstacle between us wasn't Madison."

"Connor, being with you, I was tired."

"You made me feel that without me, you could choose anyone."

"I worked desperately, tried desperately, felt insecure, until later—"

"I realized the validation I desperately wanted shouldn't come from you, but from myself."

"Before, I thought I couldn't live without you."

"But without you... I actually live better."

My last syllable fell.

Connor just looked at me like that.

His expression was sorrowful and desolate as he watched me throw the ring out the window.

In the end, he didn't say a word.