Where The Ice Gives Way Chapter 162

**Theo**

I’ve never been nervous to eat dinner before. But the idea of sitting across a table from one terrified girl has my stomach twisted into knots. Emily is coming to the house. She’s willingly leaving that little building, and she’s not asking for me to stay away. I have a chance, a small chance, but a chance to show her that I’m not a threat to her.

The thought follows me all the way from the tree line to the back steps of the house. The cold has worked its way through my jacket and into my bones after standing out there for so long, but I barely feel it now. I practically shoulder through the kitchen door and nearly collide with Mara, carrying a bowl of potatoes. Her eyebrows shoot up. “Well. Where’s the fire?”

“Emily’s coming up for dinner.” The words come out fast.

“Oh,” she says quietly with a knowing smile.

I rake a hand through my hair, biting back all the words that want to tumble out of my mouth and make me look stupid. Mara’s smile turns warm and sympathetic all at once, like she can see every single thing falling apart inside me. She sets the bowl on the bench and looks me over.

“Well then,” she says gently, “go have a quick shower and borrow some of Blake’s clothes. You’re not going to impress the girl smelling like that.”

I bark out a surprised laugh.

“Seriously,” she says, waving me toward the stairs with a wooden spoon. “Go. And Theo?” I pause at the doorway as her voice softens. “Breathe, honey.”

I nod and take the stairs two at a time. My hands shake slightly while I strip off my clothes in Blake’s bathroom, and I stand under the hottest shower I can manage, trying to scrub away the cold and sweat. Water drums against the tiles, steam thickens the mirror, and for a few minutes, I stand there with my hands braced against the wall, trying to make my body understand that dinner is not a battlefield. All the while, Yelen paces restlessly inside me. *Mate.*

*Yeah. I know.*

*Mate.*

I scrub shampoo through my hair and rinse it out faster than I ever have in my life.

“She’s terrified of us,” I mutter under the water.

Yelen’s answer presses through me, low and stubborn. *Still mate.*

I close my eyes and heave out a breath. She is our mate, but she’s been hurt before, and I need to be careful with her. 

By the time I shut the water off and step into Blake’s room, I can hear voices drift up faintly through the floorboards. I breathe out slowly and tug open Blake’s closet. While I pull on a clean pair of jeans, I glance around his room and notice all the little changes Charlotte has made without even trying. There are more pillows on the bed now and a soft blanket folded at the end, flowers in a jar on the nightstand beside a stack of books Blake definitely did not buy for himself. There are hair ties scattered across the dresser, a jumper tossed over the chair in the corner, and some kind of lip balm sitting beside his watch. Gone are the puck bunny and car posters I grew up seeing on these walls, and all the stupid shit we thought made us look cool when we were sixteen. The room looks lived in now and loved in a quiet way.

I wonder what it feels like to have someone slowly leave pieces of themselves around your life until one day your room isn’t just yours anymore, until there are soft things where there used to be bare surfaces. Until your bed smells like someone else and you don’t remember ever sleeping without it. I wonder if one day my room will look like this. If Emily will leave a mug on my bedside table. A blanket on my chair. A ribbon, a book, a hairbrush. Something small that says she was there and wanted to come back.

The thought hits me so hard that I have to grip the closet door.

*Easy,* Yelen warns, though he is the one pressing forward like he wants to run downstairs.

“I know,” I whisper. “I know.”

I shove my feet into clean socks, run a hand through my damp hair, and head downstairs before I can think myself into doing something stupid like hiding in Blake’s room until dinner is over.

The voices get clearer with every step. Then I step into the doorway, and the room goes quiet. Emily sits between Mara and Charlotte with her hands folded carefully in her lap. She looks beautiful, and I have to force myself to look away so I don’t scare her further. I look over to Blake, who sits on Charlotte’s other side, his arm stretched across the back of her chair. He gives me a small smirk and motions to the chair, directly across from Emily.

*Mine.* Yelen goes completely still inside me. *Mate.*

Emily’s eyes lift slowly to mine, her lips parting slightly as I breathe her in. It’s something fresh and floral, soft, and delicate. It’s pale and sweet, but not sugary. Something clean after rain, tucked under the scent of soap, borrowed clothes, and warm food. I don’t know flowers well enough to name it. I have never bought a girl flowers in my life, and never had a reason. Never stood in a florist’s trying to figure out what kind of bloom smells like my mate that I am not allowed to touch. But tomorrow I will.

Charlie’s eyes flick from me to Emily, then back again as I sit and his mouth twitches. I give him a look and kick his leg under the table, but he still grins like a bastard. 

*Don’t fuck this up,* Yelen grumbles, and I swallow hard, trying to clear the lump in my throat. Don’t fuck this up. Yeah. I can do that. Maybe.