Where The Ice Gives Way Chapter 27

**Charlotte**

The bathroom door clicks shut behind me, and the quiet hits like a wave. I grip the edge of the sink and stare at my reflection. The bruise is worse in here, yellowing at the edges, purple and swollen near my eye. My breath comes too fast. In. Out. In. Out. I press my palms flat against the counter like I can anchor myself to something solid. The house is warm, and the air smells of soap, tea, and food. None of it feels real enough to trust. A pack. Wolves. Half the town. Alpha. Luna. Soulmates. Mine. My stomach twists, and my chest pulls. I rub at my sternum, fingers pressing in through the fabric of Blake’s jacket, but it doesn’t help. If anything, it makes the feeling louder, like touching it reminds my body what it’s been trying to tell me. My mind runs in circles.

How did they know?

How long have they known?

How many wolves are there?

What does being part of a pack really mean?

I picture Dad. The porch light. The door opening. His hand on my arm. His fist. My throat tightens, and I force my eyes away from the mirror and turn on the tap. The water runs hot, and steam rises. I splash my face, and the sting on my cheek makes me wince. It doesn’t hurt as much as it should, but that part I’m used to. I shut the tap off and lean forward, forehead nearly touching the mirror. Mine. The voice in my head is there again, satisfied like it’s been fed, like it got what it wanted. It isn’t my voice. It never has been. Apparently, I’m not crazy for that. Which should feel like relief, but it doesn’t. It feels like a door has opened in a hallway I didn’t know existed. A knock taps softly at the door.

“Charlotte?” Mara’s voice calls out carefully. “Are you okay?” I stare at the handle as if it might bite me. “No,” I say, and the honesty surprises me. There’s a pause before she asks softly, “Can I come in?” I swallow, then nod even though she can’t see it. “Yeah.” The door opens slowly, and Mara steps in and shuts it behind her. She gestures toward the bathtub like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “Can we sit?” I nod again. We sit on the edge of the tub, shoulder to shoulder. Mara’s voice is soft as she speaks. “I can’t begin to imagine how scary this is for you.” I stare at my hands in my lap. My fingers are still red from the cold. “I don’t know what to do,” I whisper.

“I know,” she says, like she actually does. “Do you have questions you want to ask without all that testosterone in the room? It might make it easier for you to understand.” A laugh tries to come out and dies halfway. “Yes,” I manage. Mara waits, and my fingers lift to my chest again, rubbing at the place that keeps tightening and tugging. “This feeling,” I say. “In my chest. It keeps happening… and now it won’t stop.” Mara’s mouth curves into a small smile as she watches my hand. “That’s your mate bond,” she says. I blink. “My what?”

“Mates,” she repeats gently, like she knows the word sounds ridiculous. “It’s a bond that forms between soulmates. Wolves recognise each other, and the bond pulls you toward them.” My throat goes dry. “It’s pulling me… toward…” Mara nods once. “Blake.” Heat creeps up my neck, and I look down at the floor, embarrassed by my own body. “That’s insane.” Mara’s smile softens. “It feels insane when you don’t have context.” I swallow. “So it’s real.”

“It’s real,” she says. “Oh, he was so excited when he first felt it. We all were.” My stomach twists uncomfortably. “You were excited?”

“For him,” she corrects quietly. “He’s been waiting his whole life for his mate. Wolves don’t always get that. But that doesn’t mean you have to jump into anything. It’s just fate saying it’s here, if you want it.” So I do get a choice… I stare at the tiles. “I don’t know how to do any of this.” Mara nods like she expected that. "You did not grow up with it." Of course you don’t.” I press my lips together, then say the truth that sits behind everything. She makes me feel like I can tell her my deepest, darkest secrets and they’ll stay with her. “I’ve focused my whole life on making sure Charlie is okay,” I whisper. “Making sure he gets what he needs. Making sure he can make a good life for himself so he can get out. So he can get away from our father.” Mara’s eyes don’t leave my face. “What about you?” The question knocks something in my chest loose. I blink fast. “What?” 

“What do you want, Charlotte?” she asks again, gently. My mouth opens, then shuts because the answer is a blank space I’ve never allowed myself to fill. I swallow hard. “I just want Charlie to be happy.” Mara’s gaze softens even more. “That’s very compassionate.” I shrug, trying to make it nothing. “It’s just… how it is.” Mara’s voice stays calm. “It’s okay to want a little for yourself too.” I shake my head automatically. “I don’t have time for that.” Mara doesn’t argue. She says, “You deserve it anyway.”

My eyes sting suddenly, and I hate it. I hate crying. I hate looking weak. I hate feeling like I’m about to fall apart in someone else’s bathroom. Mara waits a moment, then speaks carefully. “Whether you choose to be part of our pack or not,” she says, “we can help you. We can help you and Charlie get out of that house. Away from your father.” My breath catches as Mara continues. “We can show you what it feels like not to be alone.” I stare at the floor, and the tears finally blur my vision. “I don’t want to be a burden,” I whisper. Mara’s hand moves slowly, giving me time to pull away if I want to. She rests it lightly over mine. “You’re not,” she says. “You’re a girl who’s been carrying too much for too long.” My throat tightens. I nod once, small, even if I don’t believe that. The mate bond pulls again, softer now, like it’s listening too. Mara’s voice is barely above a whisper. “You don’t have to decide anything tonight. You don’t have to accept Blake. You don’t have to accept the pack. But you can accept help.” I lift my eyes to Mara, and for the first time in a very long time, I let myself believe something might actually change. “Okay,” I whisper. Mara squeezes my hand once. “Okay.”