“Burn those who burned me!” Chapter 167

**Chapter 39: The short life of Lawrence Tillman (Part 2).**

Lawrence made his way to the outside patio; his mother was sitting on the swing chair; dried tears still on her face as she smoked her cigarette.

Lawrence sat directly next to his mother; his eyes staring straight ahead as he began to speak.

*“Is it true?”*

Angela looked at her son; she didn’t have to ask what he’d meant. She already knew what he was referring too. Taking another drag, she spoke.

*“So…who told you? Your sisters….or your fath-”*

*“He’s not my fucking father!”*

Lawrence looked at his mother with pure disgust in his eyes. All these years, he’d felt bad for her. Believing his father to be a horrible man. Hoping desperately that he could one day save her from this turmoil of his father and wretched sisters. All along, not knowing; she was part of the reason HE was abused and tormented.

*“He raised you Lawrence.”*

Lawrence scoffed.

*“Raised…you mean beat, humiliated, abused me! That’s your idea of a father! Why! Why did you stay with him! Was it because you felt guilty! Was it because-”*

*“I owed him that!”*

Angela yelled at Lawrence as the tears flooded her cheeks.

*“You have no idea!!! I loved your father! But I….it was my mistake Lawrence. So yes, I’ve had to pay for-”*

*“No I had to pay!!!!”*

Lawrence became irate! All these years, all these people…making him pay for something he had no choice in!

*“Your poor fucking mistakes! I’ve had to pay! Being raised by a man…..wait….whose my father?”*

Angela sat back onto the bench. The tears streaming.

*“He’s some married attorney. It was a one night stand. It was a mistake! I was tired of your father-”*

*“So I was a mistake huh. And what, you thought having the twins would make things better?”*

*“It did!!! Look at where we live now Lawrence! He didn’t have to take-”*

*“He only kept us around so that he could get your father’s inheritance.”*

Angela’s eyes widened. This was completely new to her.

*“What inheritance?”*

Lawarence looked at his mother puzzled before laughing.

*“You didn’t know your father planned on giving you both money after I turned eighteen for producing a son?”*

Angela’s eyes began to bulge. She recalled the day her and Franklin got into a heated argument, and he threatened to leave her. He’d told her he was going to speak with her father about ending the marriage because she’d cheated. She remembered begging him to please forgive her. When he came home the next day however, Franklin told her he’d decided to give her another chance. At the time, she’d thought it was because he realized how much he loved her. However, Franklin remained indifferent. As his drinking continued, so did the beatings. Even after Lawrence was born. As he grew older, Franklin would hate him more claiming he looked just like his bastard father.

Then, one night when Franklin came home drunk; he became intimate for the first time in over two years with Angela; and although his drunken stupor made him aggressive; Angela was just happy they had finally become intimate again. She thought he was finally starting to forgive her. After that night; she’d become pregnant with the twins. Franklin had them tested and once he found out they were his; he immediately turned his life around. Though she always wondered why he kept her and Lawrence around; she was just happy he'd changed hoping he would one day also love her again. Now it all made sense.

*“He’ll become better….after the money. He’ll finally see value in you-”*

*“He plans on keeping that money for him and the twins.”*

Lawrence looked at his mother a million thoughts going through his mind. He wanted to be angry at her as well. Afterall, had she not cheated then he wouldn’t have been unlucky enough to have been born into such dysfunction. Still, there was a part of him that wouldn’t allow him to hate her; that was until her next words followed.

*“He deserves it.”*

Lawrence could hardly believe what she was saying! How! How could she feel he deserved that money!

*“Mom….what the fuck are you talking about! He doesn’t deserve a thing! He’s been abusing you…US for years! He-”*

*“It’s your fault!”*

Angela’s outburst stunned Lawrence. How was any of this HIS fault!

*“He would have never known! If I hadn’t gotten pregnant! This is all because I had you!”*

Lawrence’s eye’s darkened. No longer could he protect this weak and sorry excuse for a mother. For years, he’d told himself she had no choice because of him and his sisters; but the truth…she was just pathetic and weak.

*“If you hadn’t cheated and birthed me….he wouldn’t have been able to receive an inheritance.”*

Angela’s eyes cut over at Lawrence as she lit another cigarette. Taking a drag; she responded; her voice cold and low.

*“Perhaps. But at least I would have had his love. Look at how much he changed after the girls were born. The problem is you Lawrence. I think you should leave….once you graduate high school. It’s the only way we’ll have a shot at being happy. You're a constant reminder.”*

Lawrence looked at his mother in complete disbelief. Was this truly how she felt? That HE was the problem? So she hated him too. Without responding, Lawrence stood up and walked away leaving his pathetic mother in her thoughts.

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It was 2 o’clock in the morning when the fire department arrived at the ablaze house. Flames and smoke were everywhere as the house’s foundation began to fall. Neighbors made their way out of their houses as they heard the trucks and could smell the fire. As the firefighters fought to put out the flames, a young man made his way to the front of the crowd.

*“What happened?”*

A neighbor turned around and immediately hugged him.

*“Oh Lawrence!! I’m so sorry!!! Something happened! Your house….your family….”*

The neighbor couldn’t finish as the tears flooded her eyes, and the words caught in her throat. By the time the flames were out; the firefighters along with the police confirmed. Four dead bodies. One man, one woman, two young girls. Lawrence’s entire family was gone in an instant. As the police made their way over to the him, he stared at the home and the ambulance as they rolled the bodies out feeling completely indifferent. The officer took his hat off as he delivered the gruesome news.

*“I’m so sorry Mr. Tillman. Your family….they didn’t survive.”*

Lawrence looked at the officer; his face unreadable. The officer continued.

*“I’m sorry, but I have to ask. Where were you during the time of the fire.”*

Lawrence pulled out a movie ticket stub. His voice flat as he answered.

*“I went to the movies for a late night show after studying for some hours. Needed to clear my head.”*

The officer nodded.

*“Well, thank god you weren’t in that house! I’m so sorry for your loss. Is there anywhere we can take you?”*

Lawrence looked at the officer and nodded.

*“Yes….to my grandfather.”*

Lawrence moved in with his mother’s father shortly after the funeral. Thinking that Lawarence was Angela and Franklin’s son; he gave the inheritance to him. Five hundred thousand dollars. Over the course of several years; Lawrence blew the money on drinking, gambling and women. Because of his hatred towards his mother; Lawrence developed an unhealthy concept of women often being abusive. When he turned 21, he’d found his biological father. After blackmailing him; his father got him a position at the Women’s correctional facility in Bridgeton.

At age 34, he would met Josie Taylor.