Deadly Silence (complete) Chapter 10

Unlike the previous evening, when there was only some small talk over Chinese take-out, the boys were more animated when eating sushi.

Laurent seemed a bit moody, as appeared to be normal, but Sebastian and Gabriel were having a conversation about some old car the younger of the two was interested in purchasing to retrofit or refurbish or something of the sort — Vivian didn’t quite understand most of the conversation and wasn’t interested enough to pay closer attention.

“What do you think, Vivian?”

Startled from her thoughts, Vivian looked up from her food to meet Gabriel’s gaze. “Uhm…” She didn’t want to tell them she hadn’t been paying attention — it would be rude, wouldn’t it? — but how was she supposed to answer when she had no context to work with?

“I’m telling you, it’s not worth the price,” Sebastian said with a wave of a hand, as if to brush away any argument that had been sent his way. “I’m guessing Vivian isn’t obsessed with cars like you are…” he paused and Vivian gave a small nod, “so asking her opinion isn’t gonna help you out when she doesn’t know anything about the thing to begin with.”

“Everyone has at least *some* interest in cars,” Gabriel shot back, glaring at his eldest sibling. “Especially when you’re sixteen.”

Unable to help herself, Vivian spoke up. “What does sixteen have to do with it…?”

Everyone’s attention seemed to zero in on her and Vivian regretted speaking. Forcing her shoulders to relax, she waited to get an answer to the question without letting on the attention made her uncomfortable. Why had he even asked for her opinion in the first place?

“He’s talking about getting a driver’s license,” Laurent pipped in, tone as bored as the expression on his face. “He went nuts on his sixteenth birthday cause he could legally drive; he also forgets we aren’t all like him.”

“You were eager to get yours,” Gabriel shot back. “You wanted it so you could drive the Mercedes around, remember?”

“Oh,” she managed to squeeze out before looking back down at her food. “I don’t have a license.”

“Not even your beginners?” Pushed Gabriel, looking surprised by this revelation.

Vivian shook her head, trying to give the impression of nonchalance. “Never interested me.”

Gabriel looked at her with a look of horror. “What do you mean?!”

Laughing, Sebastian put a hand on the back of his middle brother’s head and pushed it forward until his face was almost directly in the plate of food he’d already finished eating. “See? She can’t take your side at all, since she has no idea what any of it even means. I win.”

“Not a chance,” Gabriel growled, swiping the hand off his head with a huff. “She can still have an opinion. Even if she’s not interested in driving, she can still think a car is cool!”

Both Sebastian and Laurent rolled their eyes, which had Vivian holding back a laugh at the synchronization of the act. They were all definitely brothers.

“It’s a Ford Thunderbird,” continued Gabriel as though he wasn’t losing this fight, that Vivian could save him from utter defeat. “They are *always* worth the price.”

Vivian knew enough about cars to know Ford was a brand — or was it a make? — of vehicle, but that’s where her knowledge ended.

In her mind’s eye, she pictured a car in the shape of a bird, but that was ridiculous. Vehicle names weren’t based on what they looked like, at least as far as she knew, so knowing it didn’t mean anything.

“What’s a Thunderbird?” She finally asked.

Her question caused Sebastian to laugh even more as he put a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder and said, “Just give it up. You can get it if you want it, but no one will take your side on whether it’s a good deal or not.”

“You all suck,” the man in question retorted, only half meaning what he said as he picked up his plate. “I’ve got some work to finish up at the garage.”

“Don’t work too late,” Samuel warned as Gabriel walked out of the room.

“I know, I know,” he called back from the other room. “Memorial service tomorrow.”

A scowl crossed Laurent’s face. “Why are we even going?”

“Because it’s your mother,” Samuel shot back with a frown.

From the tone of voice this was an old argument, and Vivian had a sneaking suspicion it was one that she had exacerbated by being found.

“She abandoned us, why should we remember her?”

“Laurent.” Samuel’s voice wasn’t loud, but it was so sharp everyone at the table winced as though cut to the bone from that one word.

“What? You know it’s true. She left and had a child. She had, what, eight years before biting the bullet, to come back to us and chose not to.”

It felt like ice was forming in Vivian’s stomach and suddenly eating didn’t seem like a good idea.

She supposed from an outside perspective it could look like Laurent described, but that wasn’t the case. Their mother had never forgotten about them. Stories of the three boys, even tiny baby Laurent, had been told to Vivian since she’d been born so that if the chance arose she could try finding them.

The chance had never come up until after everything had happened, and by then Vivian dreaded meeting the family she had heard so much about. It didn’t help that by that time eight years had passed and the picture she had of the boys were of children younger than herself. How would she even begin to look for them?

Even finding her father seemed like an impossibility, especially given the fact her mother had never once spoken their names to Vivian. As children were prone to do, babbling random things out into the world, it was too risky to give her their names. Instead she’d been given fun nicknames for the boys instead.

Whether she’d ever slipped up during those years Vivian couldn’t recall, but the names given, with their secret meanings, had allowed her mother to speak of the children she loved without fear.

Explaining all this to those still at the table would put an end to the argument once and for all, but Vivian couldn’t get herself to say the words. There were too many things attached to that piece of knowledge and she feared the repercussions.

They would no longer hate their mother, but they would hate Vivian when it was all out in the open.

If only they’d found her mother’s body after Vivian had aged out of the system; this would be a non-issue. She wouldn’t have to live with them during their mourning, wouldn’t have to hear the blame, the hate, the arguments.

Samuel and Laurent were still fighting, their words becoming harsher and louder as it progressed until Vivian had to cover her ears and, surprising even herself, shouted, “SHUT UP.”

She could feel her body trembling, the tears she refused to shed burning in her eyes as she looked up to meet Laurent’s gaze. “You know jack shit,” was all she allowed herself to say before leaving the table, never lowering her hands from her ears so whatever rebuttals came her way she wouldn’t hear.

None of them understood, none of them could understand because she would never tell them what really happened.

How her mother, how their mother, had wanted to escape and return to her loved ones; how she couldn’t because Vivian existed. Annie wouldn’t leave her daughter behind, but she couldn’t escape with her daughter either.

If Vivian had never been born, Annie would have survived, would have made it back home eventually — of that she was certain. But because of her own birth, Vivian had sealed her mother’s fate and the guilt of that knowledge was heavy.