Deadly Silence (complete) Chapter 121

“I’m not sure where to start,” Theo admitted after a minute of wrestling with his thoughts. Part of him regretted his decision to do this, because it was turning out to be harder than expected. It felt like there was so much to tell but no good place to start.

“Wherever you want is fine,” she told him, glancing his way before turning her attention back to the movie.

Theo popped another marshmallow in his mouth, chewing it slowly before letting out a sigh. “My family isn’t wealthy.” He paused, but Vivian didn’t react. No surprise there, he told himself with a small nod. *Miriam is middle class, after all. If Vivian cared about that sort of thing they wouldn’t be friends.* “We do have money,” he continued after a moment, eyes on the colourful marshmallows in his hand. “I don’t have any real memories of my dad. I can remember his laugh, I think, but nothing else.”

Whether it was his shift in topic — from money to his dad — or something else, Theo had caught Vivian’s attention, as she was now watching him instead of the TV.

Taking a deep breath, he exhaled slowly before continuing. “He died in a workplace accident when I was two, and most of what I remember from my early childhood is Mom fighting with lawyers over insurance and settlements.

“He worked construction, and the foreman had been cutting corners on safety to save money. The accident could have been prevented. Mom went full bulldozer on them, and it turned into a huge thing. It wasn’t just the foreman who was the problem, but the entire company had been cutting corners everywhere. Some guy running for a political office even had a part of it. Which meant we got threatened. A lot.

“I, personally, don’t remember this, but I guess we got tons of threats and Mom said we had to move after that, switching where we were staying every few days, until the lawsuit came to a settlement and the guilty people were arrested, then convicted. Everything was over by the time I turned seven, but before that I remember feeling scared all the time.”

Theo didn’t dare look at Vivian, worried about what she thought of all this. He took another breath and found himself talking again. “You know… no-one at school knows I’m not wealthy. I’m always worried they’ll treat me different if they find out, so I put on this… mask, I guess, when I’m around them.”

Falling quiet again, he wasn’t sure if there was anything else for him to say on the topic, unless Vivian had questions.

“You’re lucky,” she finally said, voice low.

Not understanding the thought behind her statement, Theo frowned as he looked over at Vivian. She was still looking at him, and noted his confusion.

“You can’t miss someone you don’t remember.”

Theo stared at her for a minute, unable to look away. Her response to his story was to tell him he was lucky?

She looked away from him, pursing her lips. “Having someone you love suddenly… not be there anymore… It’s beyond painful. You’re lucky you didn’t have to go through that.”

Had she just…? Theo wasn’t sure how to react. Everything that came out of her mouth was unexpected, and he hadn’t prepared himself for any of it. “I don’t know,” he trailed off with a small chuckle. “I think I’d rather have gotten to know my dad, so I could at least remember him as a person.”

Vivian tilted her head just a bit, as if thinking about what he’d said before turning to look at him again. She opened her mouth, but then closed it before anything came out. He watched as her gaze flicked downwards, then to the side, as she looked away. *Was that… some kind of guilt*, he wondered.

Taking a chance, he scooted closer. “Vivian… I just want you to know that, until I met you, I never thought I’d be able to just… be me with anyone. You showed me that there’s nothing wrong with not fitting in, that it’s everyone else’s problem to deal with if they don’t like it.

“I’ve always had my guard up, always worried what people thought of me, and believed I couldn’t let anyone know that I wasn’t, well, ‘one of them’. Around you, I can just… relax and be whoever I am. And it’s … I guess I just wanted you to know that. What you’ve done for me, even if you don’t realize it, means a lot. So, uhm, thank you?”

It felt lame to say, but nothing better came to mind, and Theo let it hang in the air, hoping she wouldn’t think less of him for it.

“I’m sure Miriam feels the same way,” he started to say, the awkward silence unbearable. “You accepted her exactly how she is, and—“

“I don’t deserve your thanks,” Vivian interrupted, her voice low.

“Of course you do. Why wouldn’t you?”

She pursed her lips so hard a white line formed around them. Theo couldn’t figure out why she was being so insistent. From what he knew about her, she didn’t lack confidence, so why was she refusing to acknowledge what she’d done for both him and Miriam?

“Because…” she began before trailing off. It was clear she was struggling with whatever was running through her head, and Theo wasn’t sure how to help. Doing the only thing he could think of, he reached out and took hold of her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

To his surprise, she laced her fingers with his, gripping his hand with more force than he’d expected, but he wasn’t about to complain. If holding her hand helped, he was more than happy to do it for as long as necessary. And maybe longer, if allowed.

Reining in his thoughts, Theo watched as she took a breath, holding it in before letting it out. “Because I’m the reason you’re in danger.”