The Apocalypse:A Survivor's Sarcastic Guide

As the apocalypse arrived, with howling winds and pouring rain outside, I was seriously cutting meat.

With zombies roaring outside my window, I was seriously cutting meat.

As a qualified internet surfer, half a month ago I'd already seen trending posts about zombies on social media!

It started with City F in a foreign country falling—the living dead moving strangely, complete chaos!

Since it was abroad, still very far from us, all we could do was post on social media and ask friends what they were having for lunch, right?

Just kidding—I immediately went on a shopping spree!

Having survived the pandemic, I'd deeply internalized the importance of stockpiling!

Masks, water, food, protective clothing, medicine, lighters, flashlights, radios, solar generators...

Anything I could buy, I bought. Money was no object.

I'm a writer who's published several bestsellers. I achieved financial freedom early on and have been living the dream for years—sleeping till I wake naturally, counting money till my hands cramp!

While browsing shopping sites, I remembered something. During the pandemic, I'd bought several boxes of compressed crackers. So far, I'd only eaten one piece. The things were just too disgusting!

So I kicked the compressed crackers out of my cart and replaced them with corn, beef jerky, Snickers bars, and bread!

Thanks to pandemic PTSD, I had a moment of insanity and bought several more boxes of electrolyte water!

While waiting for deliveries, I prepared to renovate my villa!

I live alone and have an innate lack of security. I'm especially afraid of home invasions, so even though the villa's security was already higher than regular apartments, I still spent money reinforcing it.

Plus, I keep two pets at home. Even a team of burglars would have trouble getting in!

From recent videos, I could see zombies feared light. Though they moved strangely, I noticed that during the day they appeared hunched over with their heads down. At night, they bared their teeth and moved quickly!

So I ordered a batch of large lights online and had someone install them all around my yard, one every half meter!

"What are the lights in the yard for?"

The electrician was wielding his shovel, digging holes with effort.

I didn't want to explain too much, so I casually said: "For live streaming!"

"Streaming in the yard?"

"Yep."

He stopped and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"Then you could just leave them like that, right? No need to bury them in holes?"

Trying to cut corners? My face darkened. "I tell you how to do it, you do it. It's not like I'm not paying you!"

"Okay, okay!"

Tch. What did he know? I'd bought 360-degree rotating lights. Half-buried in the ground, they wouldn't get blown over by wind!