The Apocalypse:A Survivor's Sarcastic Guide Chapter 9

The glass window was covered with countless zombie faces. Through the screen I could almost smell rotting flesh!

They'd been blown over by wind, now desperately clinging to the window.

Zombies and extreme weather—would we be allowed to live?

I was thoroughly enraged!

I'd lived a good life, never done evil. Why should I become a pile of rotting meat?

I refused to accept fate's arrangement!

I would fight back!

I'd rather drown than become a walking corpse!

"You forced me into this!"

I turned and opened the fridge, taking out all the raw meat.

Beef, pork, chicken...

I used scissors to cut all packaging open, then said to Katie: "Stop crying! Prepare for battle!"

She immediately stopped crying, looking at me stupidly.

"Come help!"

No sense at all. She'd upset me to death eventually!

"What, what are we doing?"

"Ever had BBQ?"

She nodded blankly.

I threw a knife in front of her, speaking rapidly: "Cut the meat properly. Don't cut too thick—like what BBQ restaurants sell."

She nodded meekly, then obediently sat on the floor cutting meat.

This scene was extremely bizarre.

Outside, violent wind and rain. We were seriously cutting meat.

Outside the window, zombies roared. We were seriously cutting meat.

"Yours won't work—too thick. Haven't you eaten River City BBQ? Never seen extreme squid skewers?"

I demonstrated, pulling out a pack of bamboo skewers from the BBQ supplies box, then threading my cut meat on.

A long skewer with only a tiny bit of meat.

Katie looked shocked. "Fishing worms are thicker than this!"

"What do you know? Just do what I tell you!"

"Oh~"

Soon we'd skewered a pack of meat.

"Then what? What do we do?"

I looked around. Only the windows directly in front had zombies. Others didn't.

"Go to the kitchen and get oil."

Katie: "Really going to BBQ? What kind of strategy is this? Planning to make zombies jealous?"

"Just get it!"

I was too lazy to explain. I went to get the mop.

When she brought it, I poured all the oil into the mop bucket, then opened another window.

Wind blew in all at once. With wind came cold rain. I quickly pushed the mop out, smearing oil all over the window.

Katie seemed to finally understand what I was doing.

She held meat on the other side to attract zombies' attention, buying me more time.

After applying oil, I tied string to a bamboo skewer, then flung it out before closing the window.

Wind carried the meat smell over. Zombies immediately went crazy, all coming my direction.

They had no thoughts, only knew how to bare teeth and brandish claws. Before touching the window, they fell down.

One, two, three—splash, splash, splash into the water.

The last zombie did touch the window but slid straight down.