The Biker Alpha Who Became My Second Chance Mate Chapter 119

Athena's POV

I've been staring at my hands for what feels like hours. They won't stop shaking. There's this constant hum under my skin now, like electricity running through my veins.

Every time I look at them, I see Daxon and Seraphine's faces. The way they went cold and still because of what I did to them.

The memory hits me again, and my stomach twists. Their eyes just... emptied. One second they were there, alive and breathing and probably planning more horrible things.

The next second they were nothing. Just bodies on the ground because I couldn't control whatever this thing is inside me.

I know they deserved whatever they got, but it didn't make me feel less horrible.

It doesn't matter that they were evil. It doesn't matter that they would have killed Tristan if I hadn't stopped them.

What matters is that I took two lives without even meaning to. Without even understanding what I was doing.

The power just reached out from me like it had a mind of its own. Like it was hungry for something and found exactly what it wanted in them.

They all said it's not my fault, but I knew they're just trying to make me not feel bad.

The way everyone's voice gets softer when they talk to me now tells me everything I need to know.

I know I try to keep my distance even when they're trying to act normal but it still hurt.

I almost killed Tristan and Orion, how can I get that out of my mind.

And Tristan... Tristan tries to act like nothing's changed, but I catch him watching me sometimes. Like he's waiting for something to happen.

We all know it's my fault, I was the reason we lost our parents.

That thought hits me like a punch to the chest. Mom and Dad died because of me too, Tristan lost his parents too.

Because of what I am, what I was born with. This cursed thing inside me that I never asked for and can't get rid of.

How many more people have to die because I exist?

My chest gets tight and it's hard to breathe. There's this burning sensation behind my eyes that means I'm about to cry, but I don't want to cry anymore.

I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of being scared. I'm tired of being the thing everyone has to tiptoe around.

"Wait," I heard Tristan say, I lifted my head and stared at him. There's this light in his eyes that wasn't there before. "I think I've found a solution."

I lift my head higher, raised a brow and look at him, really look at him.

He's sitting forward in his chair now, and there's something different about the way he's holding himself. Like he just figured out the answer to a puzzle that's been bothering him for days.

Hope is dangerous. I learned that the hard way. You let yourself believe things might get better, and then they don't, and you're left feeling worse than when you started.

I've had hope before. I hoped our parents would come back. I hoped I and Tristan would live happily together.

But every single time, I ended up disappointed. Every single time, things got worse instead of better.

I've been sitting here for the past hour convincing myself there's no way out of this. That I'm going to spend the rest of my life six feet away from everyone I care about.

That thought makes my throat close up. Never being able to hug Orion again. Never being able to hold Tristan's hand. Never being able to sit close to Sarah and talk about normal things like we used to.

Never being able to touch anyone without wondering if this will be the time I kill them.

What about Lily and Liam? God.

But Tristan doesn't say things just to hear his own voice. He's not the type to throw around false promises or empty comfort.

Tristan thinks before he speaks. He weighs his words. When he says he has an idea, it means he's actually thought it through from every angle.

When he gets that look on his face, that serious, determined expression, it means he believes what he's about to say..

So even though part of me wants to protect myself from disappointment, another part of me starts to hope. Just a little. Just enough to hurt if I'm wrong.

The tingling under my skin gets stronger, like whatever's inside me is reacting to my emotions. I try to push it down, but it doesn't want to go away.

The room goes quiet again. Derek shuffles through his papers. Sarah fidgets with her coffee cup. Orion keeps looking between Tristan and me like he's trying to figure out what he's thinking.

Derek's papers make soft rustling sounds that seem too loud in the silence. Sarah's spoon clinks against her mug even though she's not stirring anything. Orion shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

Everyone's waiting. Everyone's holding their breath to see what Tristan's going to say.

Then Tristan leans forward and says something that makes my heart skip.

"What if Athena actually tries to heal someone?"

The words hang in the air. Nobody moves, it felt like we all stopped breathing.

My first thought is that I heard him wrong. That he couldn't possibly have suggested what I think he just suggested.

My second thought is that he's lost his mind.

My third thought is that maybe, just maybe, he's onto something.

Tristan continues his voice getting stronger as he goes. "Derek said the power isn't evil. That it only hurts people when it feels cornered or threatened. That it could transfer life too right?" He turned to Derek who nods his head in agreement.

Derek's nod is slow but sure. "The texts describe it as life magic. It can take life, but theoretically, it can be able to give life too."

"If that's true, then maybe it doesn't have to destroy things. Maybe it can do the opposite. What if instead of being scared of it, Athena learns to direct it? To make it help instead of harm?"

The idea is so foreign, so impossible, that I can barely wrap my head around it. This thing inside me, this horrible cursed power that's killed everyone it's ever touched, could actually save people instead?

I watch as heads start nodding around the room. Slow at first, then faster. Orion's mouth tightens like he's trying not to smile, but his eyes get soft in that way they do when he thinks something might actually work.

Even Sarah, gives a small nod.

They believe it. They think it could work.

And that should make me feel better. It should make the hope in my chest burn brighter. But instead, my stomach knots up tight.

Because believing it could work and actually making it work are two completely different things.

How?

The question screams in my head. How am I supposed to do that? How can I try to heal someone when I can't even touch another person without worrying I'll kill them?

How can I open myself up to use something I don't understand? How can I trust this power when it's never done anything but hurt people?

What if I try to give life and end up taking it instead? What if I try to save someone and destroy them completely?

What if the power doesn't want to heal? What if it only knows how to kill, and I'm just fooling myself into thinking it could be different?

My throat closes up. My voice comes out cracked and small. "But how? What if I hurt them? What if I take instead of give?"

The fear in my voice is obvious. I can hear it, and I know everyone else can hear it too.

Nobody answers right away, the silence presses down on all of us like a weight. The air feels thick and hard to breathe.

My eyes start to burn with tears I don't want to cry.

I'm so tired of crying. I'm so tired of being scared. But I can't seem to stop either one.

I want to believe what they're saying. I want to have faith in Tristan's idea. But all I can think about are Seraphine's and Daxon's cold, empty bodies.

They'd died because I couldn't control what was inside me. How can I ask someone else to risk that? How can I?

The thought of putting another person in danger because of what I am makes me feel sick.

The thought of watching another person die because I couldn't control this thing makes me want to run away and never come back.

Sarah breaks the quiet first. Her voice is soft but steady. "I think it'll work, but who are we going to find for her to try and heal?"

The question hits me like a slap. My chest gets tight. I hate how it sounds, like I'm some kind of weapon that needs testing.

Like someone has to put their life on the line just so I can prove I'm not a monster.

I look down at my hands again. They're still shaking.

The shaking is getting worse. The humming under my skin is getting louder. I can feel the power stirring inside me, responding to my emotions.

What if it gets out again? What if it decides it doesn't like being discussed like this and reaches out for the closest person?

What if it chooses Tristan this time? Or Orion? Or Sarah?

The thought makes me want to run. To get as far away from all of them as possible before this thing inside me decides to hurt someone else.

But then Tristan speaks, and his voice is quiet and sure.

"Me." I shot my eyes up immediately.