The Biker Alpha Who Became My Second Chance Mate Chapter 63

Tristan's POV

I didn't pull out of Athena immediately. I stayed buried inside her, my forehead pressed against hers as I tried to catch my breath.

My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears, and for a moment, I couldn't think about anything except how right this felt.

How terrifyingly, impossibly right it felt again.

I kissed her forehead gently, tasting the salt of her sweat, before slowly lifting her in my arms. She was boneless against me, her head tucked into my neck as I carried her to her room.

Her breathing was already evening out, exhaustion taking over, but I couldn't bring myself to leave her there alone.

I slipped into bed beside her, pulling the covers over both of us, and she immediately curled into my side like she belonged there.

No matter what either of us said, we both knew this wasn't what siblings did. Siblings didn't lose control on kitchen counters.

Siblings didn't touch each other the way we just had, didn't make the sounds we'd made, didn't fit together like two pieces of the same broken puzzle.

Siblings didn't fuck twice in a roll.

When she'd told me this morning that she only saw me as an elder brother, I had made a decision. I was going to let her go. I was going to keep my distance and treat her exactly like Orion's little sister and nothing more.

But then she kept doing things that made it impossible to keep that promise. The way she looked at me during dinner, the way she'd jumped to defend me at the race, the way she'd gotten so angry when I called myself her brother.

Every action, every glance, every breath she took seemed designed to unravel my resolve.

I wasn't someone who went back on his word. I prided myself on being a man who meant what he said. But with Athena, everything was different. She made me different.

Made my wolf feel whole again.

I pulled her closer, feeling her warm breath against my chest, and whispered goodnight to her already sleeping form.

.....

I woke up reaching for someone who wasn't there.

My hand moved across the sheets automatically, searching for a familiar body, the way it had every morning for the past four years. It was a habit I couldn't break, even though I knew the bed would be empty.

Jess.

The name hit me like a physical blow, and suddenly I was fully awake, my heart racing for all the wrong reasons.

What was today's date?

My hands were shaking as I grabbed my phone from the nightstand, dreading what I might see on the screen. When the numbers came into focus, my stomach dropped to the floor.

Six months. Today marked exactly six months since I'd lost them both.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit."

I bolted upright, panic clawing at my throat. How could I have forgotten? How could I have been so stupid, so selfish, so completely worthless?

I could hear the shower running in Athena's bathroom, and the sound made me feel even sicker.

I had to get out of here before she finished, before I had to look her in the eye and pretend last night hadn't been the biggest mistake of my life.

How the hell was I supposed to face her now? I'd had sex with another woman in the same kitchen where I used to make love to Jess. On the anniversary of her death. God, what kind of monster was I?

Moving as quietly as possible, I slipped out of Athena's bed and grabbed my clothes from where they'd been scattered across her floor.

The sight of them there, mixed with hers, made my chest tight with shame and something else I didn't want to name.

I practically ran to my own bathroom, turning the water as hot as it would go and scrubbing at my skin like I could wash away what I'd done. But no amount of soap could clean the guilt from my conscience.

Ten minutes later, I was dressed and heading for the door, my keys clutched in my sweaty palm.

I didn't call out to Athena, didn't leave a note, didn't do any of the things a decent man would do after spending the night with a woman.

Because I wasn't decent. I was a cheating piece of garbage who'd dishonored the memory of the only woman I'd ever truly loved.

She didn't need me to protect her anyway. She wasn't a baby. She was a grown woman who could take care of herself, and maybe it was time I stopped using her safety as an excuse to stay close to her.

My bike roared to life, and I peeled out of the driveway like the devil himself was chasing me.

......

The flower shop was just opening when I pulled up, the elderly owner giving me a concerned look as I stumbled through the door. I probably looked like hell, unshaven, hollow-eyed, desperate.

"The usual?" she asked gently, and I nodded, not trusting my voice.

White lilies. Jess's favorite. She used to say they reminded her of new beginnings, of hope.

My hands were still shaking as I paid for them, and the woman wrapped them with extra care, like she could sense this wasn't just any ordinary day.

The cemetery was quiet when I arrived, the morning mist still clinging to the grass between the headstones. I parked my bike in the same spot I always used, right by the main gate, and walked the familiar path to where they were waiting for me.

Jess and our unborn child. My family. The family I'd failed to protect.

I knelt down and placed the flowers carefully at the base of her headstone, my fingers tracing the letters of her name. Jessica Marie Hayes. Beloved daughter, devoted partner, loving mother-to-be.

The silence stretched around me, heavy with accusation.

"Baby," I said finally, my voice cracking on the word. "I'm sorry for being late. I know you were waiting for me."

The guilt was a living thing inside my chest, clawing at my ribs, making it hard to breathe.

This was supposed to be our day. I was supposed to spend the entire day here with them, talking to them, remembering them, honoring what we'd lost. Instead, I'd been ten hours late because I'd been busy betraying everything they'd meant to me.

I bowed my head, shame washing over me. "I'm so sorry for letting you down. Again."

The word hung in the air between us. Again. Because this wasn't the first time I'd failed them, was it? I'd failed to protect them when they needed me most. I'd failed to save them when her contraction started but I wasn't there.

And now I'd failed them in a whole new way.

"I need to tell you something," I whispered, my throat so tight the words barely came out. "I need to be honest with you, even though it's going to hurt."

A bird called somewhere in the distance, but other than that, the cemetery was silent. Like she was waiting for me to spill my humiliating truth.

"I was with someone last night. Another woman twice. Athena. Orion's little sister." The words tasted like ash in my mouth. "I took her in our kitchen, on the counter where we used to... where you used to help me cook dinner, where we used to make love, where we made little Jessy.."

My voice broke completely then, and I had to stop talking for a moment. When I looked up at her headstone, I swear I could feel her disappointment radiating from the carved stone.

"I know you're angry with me. I can feel it. And you have every right to be." Tears were running down my face now, hot and bitter.

"I promised you I'd never love anyone else. I promised you I'd keep your memory sacred, and I broke that promise on the worst possible day."

The silence felt different now. Colder. Like she'd turned away from me the way I deserved.

"Will you forgive me, honey?" I begged, pressing my palm flat against the headstone.

"I promise it won't happen again. It will never happen again. I'll stay away from her. I'll go back to just visiting you and remembering what we had. Please don't leave me alone."

But even as I said the words, I knew they were lies. I could still feel Athena's skin under my hands, could still taste her on my lips. I could still hear the way she'd said my name when I'd made her come apart in my arms.

And the worst part was, some terrible part of me didn't want to forget.

I stayed there for hours, talking to the headstone, begging forgiveness I didn't deserve, making promises I wasn't sure I could keep. The sun climbed higher in the sky, warming the back of my neck, but I felt cold all the way through.

When I finally stood to leave, my knees were stiff and my back ached. But the pain in my body was nothing compared to the pain in my chest.

"I love you," I whispered to the headstone. "I'll always love you."