The Biker Alpha Who Became My Second Chance Mate Chapter 33

Both of them looked shocked, and utterly helpless. They looked like they'd been prepared for something worse, but this revelation, was worst and heartbreaking, than the bombshell they'd been bracing for.

Their eyes shifted from shock to pity, and suddenly I was angry. Furious, actually, though I wasn't sure why. The emotion hit me like a tidal wave, and I needed somewhere to direct it.

I turned toward Tristan. "You think nobody will understand how you feel, but I do. Because I've lost a child too."

"Oh my God, Ath," Orion said, reaching out to hug me.

I slipped away from his embrace, seeing the hurt flash across his face. I felt bad about rejecting his comfort, but I couldn't handle being touched right now.

I was angry at myself. Mad because I'd chosen the wrong man. Mad because I'd let Daxon destroy me over and over again and hadn't been strong enough to leave. Hadn't left until I'd lost the opportunity to hold and love my baby.

Because I was stupid. Because I'd walked out on my pack and family. Because I'd been selfish and weak.

"How did you lose the baby?" Tristan asked, his voice deadly quiet. "Was he the cause?"

I nodded, unable to speak past the lump in my throat.

Tristan started pacing, his hands clenched into fists. Orion just stared at me for a long moment, then abruptly stood up and walked out of the room without a word.

I started to follow him, but Tristan caught my arm. "Leave him be for a minute."

"But he's....."

"Look," Tristan said, pointing toward the window.

What I saw broke my heart into a million pieces.

Orion was in the backyard, screaming as he shifted partially into his wolf form and then forced himself back to human.

I could feel his pain through our family bond - it felt like my chest was being crushed. He was fighting for control of his wolf, trying to keep the animal from taking over completely.

He kept hitting the brick wall with his bare fists, over and over, with supernatural speed and strength. His wolf kept trying to emerge, but I could feel him holding it back.

This was the only way he knew how to deal with overwhelming emotion - physical pain that matched the emotional agony.

His hands were already bleeding badly, leaving red smears on the wall with each impact.

I tried to run to him, but Tristan caught me and held me back.

"Let me go, Tristan," I said with a growl, feeling Ciara stirring for the first time in days. "Can't you see he needs help?"

"Baby girl, letting him be is the only help you can give him right now," Tristan said firmly.

I pushed against him with more force than I'd ever used before, and he actually moved backward, shocked that I'd been able to break free from his grip so easily.

I was already running toward the door when he caught me again, this time lifting me completely off the ground and carrying me back to the living room.

"Let me go, please," I begged, tears streaming down my face. "He's going to hurt himself badly."

"He needs to hurt himself to get better, Ath," Tristan said, his voice gentle but firm. "Do you understand what he's going through right now? He just found out that his baby sister lost her child because her mate beat her up."

Tristan's voice grew darker, more dangerous. "Do you know how I feel right now? I want to break something. I want to find that bastard and torture him, watch him scream and beg for his life. I want to sink my fangs into his throat and watch him bleed out slowly."

I flinched at the violence in his words, at the pure hatred in his voice.

"Now imagine how Orion feels," Tristan continued. "He feels like he failed not just you, but everyone who trusted him to look after you. Like he failed as a brother, as an alpha, as a man. So let him get it out the only way he knows how. He'll be back when he's ready."

"I'm so sorry," I choked out between sobs. "I didn't mean to hurt him like this. I didn't mean to hurt either of you."

"Shh, it's okay," Tristan soothed, pulling me against his chest. "It's not your fault that monster couldn't keep his hands to himself."

He paused, and I could practically hear the thoughts running through his mind. I knew exactly what he was thinking, and it made me sick.

"He didn't force himself on you, did he?" he breathed out with freight.

"No," I said quietly, my voice barely above a whisper. "He didn't have to force me. I went along with it willingly."

The admission felt like swallowing glass, but it was the truth. I'd been so desperate for love, so hungry for someone to want me, that I'd ignored every red flag.

Tristan pulled me tighter against him and stroked my hair. "It's okay. You don't have to keep blaming yourself for his choices."

He tilted my face up and gently wiped away my tears. "Now, go to your brother. Go hug him and calm him down before he punches through that wall and leaves Sarah without a mate. We already have enough mateless wolves in this house."

Despite everything, I laughed through my tears. "That's horrible, Tristan."

"Dark humor helps sometimes," he said with a sad smile. "Go on."

When I got to the backyard, Orion was still delivering punches to the wall. Blood was everywhere - on the bricks, on the ground, coating his knuckles in crimson streaks. Tristan was right - if I didn't stop him soon, he might seriously hurt himself.

I approached him carefully and wrapped my arms around him from behind. I wasn't scared - I knew he would never hurt me, even in this state.

The moment he felt me holding him, his fist froze in midair. For a second, I thought he might continue, but then I spoke.

"I'm sorry for hurting you," I cried against his back, the tears dropped uncontrollably. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to cause you this much pain. Please stop hurting yourself, because when you hurt yourself, you're hurting me too."

His hand remained suspended in the air for a long moment, then slowly lowered without delivering another punch.

I felt his shoulders sag with defeat. We stood there in the quiet backyard, both of us crying in our own way. I could feel him breathing heavily, trying to regain control.

"I couldn't protect you, Ath," he said, his voice broken and raw. "I was supposed to protect you, but I failed. I failed you, I failed our parents, I failed everyone who counted on me."

"It wasn't your fault," I said firmly. "You had no idea what was happening. How were you supposed to protect me when I left you? When I ran away right when you needed me most?"

"Why didn't you call me?" he asked, his words breaking apart. "Why didn't you call me or Tristan when things got bad? Why didn't you come home? Did I do something to make you feel unwelcome? Did I make you feel like a burden? Is that why you left?"

I was crying so hard now that I could barely breathe. How could I tell him the real reason I'd run away?

How could I explain that I'd left because Tristan had rejected me, because I'd let his best friend touch me in ways he shouldn't have, and when Tristan told me it could never happen again, I'd run straight into Daxon's waiting arms?

I couldn't form the words. The silence stretched between us, and I could feel him interpreting my lack of response as confirmation of his worst fears.

"It was my fault, wasn't it?" he whispered, pain dripping from his words.

"No!" I said quickly. "No, of course not. It wasn't your fault at all. It was...."

"It was my fault," came Tristan's voice from behind us.