Alpha Aidan's Rejection Chapter 92

AIDAN

　　Tara was either too modest or too compassionate to realize that I was the definition of pathetic if my main goal for decades has been to prove my worth to the man who pushed my mother to her untimely and gory death.

　　Did I need to add that I needed to toss my wealth in a woman's face for me to have something as natural as a family?

　　What a joke.

　　Aside from the fact that I'd been mortified about admitting my shortcomings, Kayla and I signed a contract. Not many people knew about our arrangement, but that didn't excuse me for not telling Tara about it. I thought I could handle being in between, and my stupid and slimy actions almost cost me the woman who had my heart in her palm.

　　No matter how difficult this was for me, I was coming clean, just as I promised her.

　　After my brief explanation of my tragic family history- a story that still burned my chest whenever I allowed myself to think of it- , Tara figured out my connection to Kayla.

　　Tara's mouth opened and closed in bewilderment, and I remained quiet, giving her as much time as she needed to process things. "But how is that even possible?" She finally asked. "If I remember correctly, Kayla had a mate. She had been with him for years before we first met."

　　I shrugged. "She didn't mention what happened between them other than that they severed their bond. I knew it had something to do with Sireen, but I didn't ask about the details."

　　"Sireen is her daughter's name?"

　　I nodded, watching her eyes soften around the once-tense edges.

　　This woman was angelic.

　　"So Kayla had a child with her mate and she kept it from everyone? That makes little sense," Tara said, but her tone was laced with more confusion than accusation.

　　"The child didn't belong to her mate. That was why she kept her a secret. Kayla put Sireen in foster care until a few years ago from what I know."

　　"I'm sorry to say this, but she's terrible," Tara said, shaking her head, and feeling sorry for Sireen. I knew all these things about Kayla, and I still went ahead to marry her. I voiced out my next thoughts.

　　"Honestly, I knew, but I didn't consider that. I wanted to fulfill my father's wishes, but deep down, I wanted to have that connection and feeling that having a family brought. I knew I wouldn't have it with Kayla, but I hoped that one day, I could have it with Sireen. She's a bright young woman. Nothing like her mother."

　　My heart warmed slightly at that.

　　Tara was in thought for a while before she spoke again. "So why did you split? Won't your father come for you?"

　　My eyebrows slowly lifted in amazement at the fact that Tara cared about my case even if it meant still being married to Kayla. I shrugged the thought off and answered her question.

　　"He can't do anything about it anymore. I am Alpha now. His wish did not say much, so I found loopholes. The contract was only for a year, and Kayla and Sireen already took my name. But it felt wrong from the start…the marriage." Kayla, in a word, was foul. She almost ran my hard work at Attica Pack into the ground as Luna. "I was going to divorce her even before I found out she hurt you, Kayla, I swear. The marriage had only lasted for three months before I realized it was a mistake. It wasn't easy since Kayla didn't want to let go, but she finally signed the papers the day you found out. We were together that day to finalize the divorce."

　　Tara inhaled a deep breath and slowly let it out, thinking over my words. I hadn't left a single detail out, and I hoped, goddess, I truly hoped, that Tara gave me a chance to make up for my foolishness. To make things right.

　　"I am sorry, Tara. I'm not excused for any of it because I should have come to you with it, but I didn't. But please, you are…" I needed Tara to know that my love for her ran deeper than anything words could explain and that my life has always been incomplete without her, but it felt like emotional blackmail to say it now. I didn't want that to be the reason she'd forgive me.

　　"You are so important to me, Tara, I don't want to lose you," I said instead. My eyes went over to where Nadia was acting out what looked like a play with a group of kids only meters away from us, and I turned to Tara. "I don't want to lose you both."

　　I gave Tara her time to think. If she needed days, weeks, or months, I'd wait. If it came down to it, I'd crawl in remorse.

　　I expected one of many things. Tara could say she didn't care about my story, or she could say she'd think about forgiving me. She could say so many other things, but I did not expect to hear what I did from her.

　　"You and I are kind of alike, you know?."

　　"Yeah?" I asked, masking my shock. "In what way?"

　　"In refusing to talk, think about, or face the darkness that our pasts scarred us with."

　　Tara hesitated over her next words, and as she started picking her cuticles subconsciously, my defensive side kicked in. I'd been keeping myself from touching her because I didn't want her to think I was coercing her into forgiving me, but when she looked at odds with herself like this, I wasn't going to stay away.

　　I closed the gap between us, and I took her small hands in mine, enclosing them in my warmth.

　　"Talk to me."

　　Tara's glazed-over eyes met mine, and her chest began to heave…slowly at first, then she began to shake like she was having a panic attack. My wolf stood on edge, unsettled, and pressing against my skin at this strange turn of events.

　　"Tara, look at me," I murmured in panic, searching her face. "Take a deep breath."

　　Before I could speak again, she blinked, then she spoke slowly. "I'm fine, Aidan. I'm just trying to calm myself."

　　I didn't believe that. She just had a mini panic attack, but she was fine now. I nodded, not letting go of her hand as she spoke about what shook her to this extent.

　　"I haven't really had the most stable relationship with anyone. Wh-when I was younger, my parents worked so hard that they were always away. I was alone a lot…I got harassed a few times, but I've tried not to think about it too much since then." I watched a tear break through the barrier and slip down her cheeks, but she didn't move to wipe it off. I didn't either, but my heart squeezed like it never had, thinking about a young, clueless, and lonely Tara.

　　She went on. "After you, I didn't have any constant people except Esme and Jenna. Collin didn't come close, but when you showed up again, some broken part of me hoped that…my person…was you." And I failed her. "I guess that's why it hurt so much when I found out about this."

　　After a moment of silence, I spoke. "I don't think I can ever express how sorry I am that you had to go through this lot alone. Tara, you're the strongest woman I've ever encountered," I admitted with a chuckle. "You're smart. So freaking compassionate that it baffles me, and you raised our kid perfectly. I want you, Tara," I finally said. "I. Want. You."

　　Tara stared at me for a long second, and I saw the very moment the wall collapsed. The wall she had put up around her heart since I saw her for the first time in almost a decade.

　　It was here that I vowed to myself. Never again was I going to let Tara want to build up another wall.

　　My thoughts fumbled when she closed the remaining gap between us, sealing my lips with her soft, tasty, and addictive ones.

　　I would never get used to the current that Tara's essence spread through my body whenever she gave herself to me like this. My tongue slipped past her lips, and I claimed hers, pouring my sincerity into the kiss, and hoping that she was going as crazy as I was with this.

　　Tara broke the kiss against my wish, but I didn't chase her. I drew in deep breaths to recirculate the blood that had raced down from my cock back to other parts of my body.

　　"Full honesty," Tara said, her voice shaky, and loaded with heat.

　　That would have switched my arousal back on if the memory of my last secret didn't flash in my head as soon as she said that.

　　The building ownership and Nadia's school enrollment papers.

　　I groaned.

　　Finding out that Tara also had bad experiences in Attica pack other than the ones I knew of made me realize something.

　　I couldn't really guarantee their safety by having a say in where they lived. There was danger everywhere, and all I could do was try my best to protect them wherever they were.

　　My home was where Tara and Nadia were, wherever that may be, and also, Tara needed to decide on her own if she wanted back at Attica Pack. It had to be done out of her volition, not mine.

　　"Aidan," Tara called, drawing me back to the present. "We can't keep things from each other from here on out, you know that, right?" I nodded. "So is there anything you're not telling me yet?"

　　My next words could break the progress we just made, but I wasn't going to repeat my last mistake with Tara, so I nodded once again with my heart in my throat.

　　"There's one more."