Zenon's Game Chapter 172

Annika gave it to me straight. "Confused or not, it sounds like you played with them. Didn't you kiss both brothers?"

I kissed Zenon. Jake kissed me, but I ran away. It's not the same thing but I didn't want to argue with Annika.

I definitely messed up because I took too long.

"Zenon was someone I hesitated to be with, because I was scared of how much he could hurt me," I told her truthfully, "I've lived opposite him my whole life and we go to the same school. He was a player. He's never been serious with anyone and, even last summer, he dumped a girl he was seeing within a month. I was scared to be next."

"Couldn't you tell the difference between what you had with him and what he had with other girls?" Annika asked me.

"I knew what I felt, and I knew what he was telling me he felt," I said, finding it difficult to explain.

How do you explain to a confident girl how being unconfident feels like?

I tried it another way, "At the beginning, Zenon was quick to say something incredible and then follow up with an insult. He's called me nerdy, heavy, unattractive and I'm meant to just forgive all of that? So, yeah, it took me time and it took him changing."

"OK but if you were so confused, why did you accept the date with Jake?"

Annika was really going in on me.

I answered, "I thought Zenon and I were really done. I thought he was seeing a girl called Jamie, but it turns out he wasn't."

Annika nodded as if this was a classic case. "Sounds like you jumped to conclusions too quickly."

She should really be a therapist.

"Let me repeat myself. My ex-boyfriend cheated on me. That means that when I asked him about it, he lied to me. So my trust levels aren't all there, OK? I realize I could've sabotaged the best relationship I've ever been in but that's on me."

Annika went quiet.

She then sat up straighter as if she was about to say something, so I said, "Can you not ask me any more questions, please? I don't mean to be rude, but this is my private life and I feel like I've said what I'm comfortable saying."

She exhaled, "I'm sorry. I get carried with questions and my mom tells me I pry too much into people's lives."

"No it's ok," I said.

"You must be sick of people asking about your relationship," Annika said, "I haven't been here long but I can see that this town has an unhealthy obsession with the Albert brothers."

"Yeah," I smiled, guilty of it too, "Maybe it's in the tap water."

I hopped off the back of Dr Thomas's open-top car and looked around at the near empty car park. It was so late, but I felt awake. I found it hard to believe that I spent most of my night here.

"Ubuntu," Annika suddenly said.

"Sorry?" I asked her, not understanding.

Annika leaned towards me to explain, "It's from a zulu phrase and the literal translation is that a person is a person through other people. I am because you are."

I listened closely to what she said next.

Annika said, "I am sorry if, by my questions, I imposed my views onto you. I should not judge you. I have my flaws too and the moment I stop using I is when I begin to understand ubuntu. We are interconnected and you aren't alone. I can feel with you."

It was past 5AM by the time Axel dropped us off on Dupont Avenue. This really has been the weekend that never ends.

"Thanks for saving us, Axel," I hugged him from the backseat of his mom's car before I hopped out, "It's so late."

He waved it off, "I was already awake."

Annika slid out of the back seat, "Thanks! And tell your mom she's a boss lady."

Axel laughed, "I'll tell her. See you in a couple hours."

Annika and I stood on the street and watched Axel make a U-turn to head back to the hospital. After the last of his car disappeared from the street, we were faced with a very quiet neighborhood.

The stillness of the night was slowly being disturbed by a rise in activity. A man passed by in jogging gear and a lady walked to her mailbox.

She stretched, "I'm not jealous that you all have school in two hours."

"How old are you?" I asked and clapped my hand over my mouth.

She laughed, "Twenty-two. I've been through high school and I promise you it ends. Night!"

I already have a big sister but tonight I felt like I gained a new one. What I mean is that my conversation with Annika felt like one sisters would have.

"Night," I waved, "And thank you."

I didn't think sleep was the best move. Waking me up with only two hours sleep was close to mission impossible.

But coffee, that's always a good idea.

I went to the kitchen to brew myself a batch. My mom and sister would surely grab a cup once they wake up. While I waited, I texted Zenon back.

He'd asked me if I'd gotten home OK and I asked him if he was grounded for life.

Zenon's mom had woken up to a living room of smashed glass, blood on the floor and wine stains on the couch. And none of her kids were at home.

I picked up the coffee pot and poured the piping hot liquid into my mug. I added sugar and milk and my mind drifted into silent thoughts, questioning my actions tonight.

Was I right to criticize Zenon like that? I didn't like how he got aggressive when he got angry. He could've handled the situation with Kaden differently and he definitely should have with Jake.

I like how loving Zenon is with me. He's caring and sweet, but I'm not down for the aggressive, bad boy vibe.

My head hurt from how tired I was. I took my cup of coffee and sat on the living room couch. I thought through the day ahead and wondered how much energy was needed.

Do I have enough brain cells to get me through the day?

And before I knew it, I was fast asleep.