Zenon's Game Chapter 181

Zenon asked me something out of the blue. "Do you think of your dad?"

The question took me by surprise. I stared at the vinyls on my shelf, all neatly lined up in an order I never mixed up. This was all I had left of him.

"Sometimes," I admitted, "But as time goes on, my memories fade. I don't remember much of him anymore."

I remember his prickly beard whenever he hugged me goodnight. I remember him taking me to the playground and how he wanted Heidi and me to become good readers. I remember that he liked to drink Mountain Dew and that his shoes were always lying around the house.

I once took his shoe and used it as a car for my barbie. He laughed when he finally found his shoe next to my doll house.

I watched Zenon button his pants, his eyes on me.

I know Zenon has difficulties with his own father. From what I could tell, Mr Albert was pushy and opinionated – but also determined to make his son succeed.

I have my own issues with my father but, since he isn't around, those issues become internalized. I tackle them as me vs. me.

Maybe that's the difference. For Zenon, he can tackle his frustrations in the open, with someone on the receiving end, willing to fight back. Mine is not willing. Mine left. And mine made me feel like my voice would fall on deaf ears.

I wonder how differently we would've ended up if our fathers were different. I wonder whether I would've been into math if someone was forcing me to.

Zenon checked his pockets and I realized what he was looking for. "You left your phone downstairs."

A small part of me hoped my mom and sister hadn't found it. Knowing their unhealthy fascination with Zenon, I'd be scared to know what they'd do with his phone.

We crept downstairs, trying to be as stealthy as ninjas and as quiet as mice. We tip-toed along the hallway, avoiding any creaky floorboards.

At least I was.

Zenon was just walking behind me, normally. He watched my behavior with a small smile on his face.

I reached the dining room table and stretched out for Zenon's phone. The screen lit up in my face and momentarily blinded me. While I overreacted to the brightness, Zenon took his phone and unlocked it.

Three missed calls and twenty-five texts.

"Those can't all be from your parents?" I whispered, staring over his hand as he scrolled through the texts.

They weren't. I forget Zenon has friends.

"I enjoyed tonight, Candy," he said, sliding his phone into his back pocket, text messages unread. "I wish I could stay in your bed for longer."

I blushed and hugged him. His arms wrapped around me. I already missed holding onto him. I haven't slept with a stuffed animal or a blanket in a while, but I imagine sleeping with Zenon topped that. A hundred times over.

"Night, Candy." His soft lips kissed me.

"Good luck getting home," I said, "It's a long way back."

He laughed and walked out the door. I heard him close the door firmly on the other side. But it doesn't lock.

7.30AM

Coffee cup in hand, everything was finally right in my world.

I'd caught up on sleep, caught up with my boyfriend and caught up on caffeine.

"May my coffee be strong and day productive," I wished.

Zenon was working out this morning, so he had already left for school. I wanted to offer Jake a ride, given his unfortunate facial situation, so I texted Zenon:

Has Jake gone to school with you or is he taking his motorbike again?

Zenon replied: His head can fit in a helmet. Barely

A classic unhelpful comment. So I texted Jake instead and he confirmed in softer words that he was taking his bike.

I drove to the Coffee Bean with my empty coffee cup. Sure, one little home-made espresso is nice in the morning. But after my withdrawal yesterday, I needed more.

"Candace, good morning!" Matt greeted me enthusiastically.

For all the times he's mistaken my name, insulted me and greeted me gruffly... I'm still surprised by a warm encounter.

"I should really get to know your coffee order," Matt chastised himself, "You come here every day and I keep asking you. My memory's the worst."

"No, not at all. I change it up often," I replied, looking around to see if his manager was here.

It would explain the extra-nice behavior. Maybe he was working on commission now.

"Can I have an iced café con leche please?" I asked, deciding that a cold drink in winter is just what I needed.

"Sure, sure, sure," he tapped the order into the cash register, "One large... large is enough, right? Is it just you or should I get one for Zenon too?"

"Zenon?" I asked back, "He's not here."

That's random.

Matt looked disappointed, "He's not coming? Alright then, we'll get that drink for you whipped up in a sec."

I opened my wallet, but he waved his hands, "It's on the house."

I thanked him but insisted on paying.

Once upon a time, Matt wrote "deluded" on my coffee cup.

As I watched him prepare my coffee with extra enthusiasm, I wondered if I was imagining things. Maybe I am deluded now.

"See you in school, Candace," Matt handed me my coffee with a straw and some napkins, "It's so funny how we have this daily morning meet-up and never really hang out otherwise."

"Yeah. That is funny."

Funny was not the word running through my mind.

I drove my cranky old car back out onto the main road.

"It's just the two of us then," I told my frappe, "Like the old days."

The ice in the frappe clinked in agreement as I drove us to school.