Zenon's Game Chapter 270

"I don't want to be here either you know!" I yelled, turning around to Zenon, "No one asks me but I've got nowhere to go. I just have to accept this sh*t while my parents behave like f*cking teenagers!"

For once, it was all pouring out of me. I kept my emotions bottled up and finally it was spilling out.

Zenon stayed silent. He stood in front of me with sad eyes, listening. He was OK with being my punching bag.

I continued, "Your family keeps pretending like they're too high and mighty for mine, but they can't stop meddling in our lives like we're toys!"

Zenon quietly whispered, "You're not a game to me."

"Your father!" I spat, and the combination of that with the tears on my face must've been a frightening sight, "I have no words for that monster! This whole time, he's had my father on the other line!"

My crying was interrupting my own words. I didn't know if Zenon could understand the outpour of emotions coming from me.

"My dad's been living his life while we have his ghost in our house!" I yelled out and grabbed the box of records next to the vinyl player, "I've kept his music, hoping he'd come back one day. F*ck it!"

I raised the box in my hands to throw it against the wall, but that's when Zenon swept in. He grabbed the box in one hand and me in the other. His head lowered into my shoulder and he held onto me tightly, letting my fists land on his upper torso as I let go of the box.

He lowered the box onto the bed behind me, while still holding me, as he whispered soothingly into my ear, kissing my head. Then he wrapped both arms around me and let me squeeze him tight.

I broke down in his arms, pulling at his shirt harder than I've ever pulled on anything before. My tears soaked his shirt and my body heaved against him. My knees buckled.

He lowered me gently on the bed and that's when all my anger melted into pure sadness. Sad, alone and weak. That's how I felt.

"Why are you here?" I asked, staring up at him with my red and puffy eyes.

"Because I love you," he answered, pure and simple.

I asked, "Will you leave too?"

There was sadness in his own blue eyes and he shook his head. "No. I'm not going anywhere."

I wiped my cheeks, but my eyes were still wet. "It hurts."

I watched him get down on his knees in front of me. I sat on the bed while he knelt before me. He leaned forward to rest his arm over his knee and his movements were fluid. I envied the smoothness he was born with – that came easy to him.

"I'm sorry," I exhaled, finding myself all out of energy, "I'm in a dark head space right now."

I just wanted to feel normal. So many things had gone wrong and I didn't know how to be unemotional right now. I tried to gather my thoughts as the tears slipped down my cheeks.

"I feel like a bad person for feeling th-" I inhaled, overcome with the emotion, "but it's so hard to... you have everything.... I'm losing so much..."

I couldn't string a sentence together. I couldn't forget that his father caused so much pain in my family – and I still didn't know the full story.

Zenon's jaw locked and he looked down. He was kneeling in front of me and his messy hair covered his blue eyes from my view. He chose not to say anything, and I didn't want him to close up to me.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you," I apologized, "I'm lashing out but I'm just trying to understand.... is there a point to all of this?" I pressed my hand against my chest, feeling the burn in there, "How do I make the pain going away?"

Will there ever be a time when I look back at this stage of my life from a happy place?

Zenon looked up at me and it struck me how he was my light in this h*e*l*l.

His eyes were a rollercoaster of colors and emotions and I was swept into them. He leaned forward, still on his knee, and pressed his lips against mine. He kissed me with such passion that it swept my breath away. There was so much emotion as our lips pressed harder against each other and our tongues connected. His hand pressed against the side of my face, to hold me closer and tighter. I felt in him the strength, comfort and desire. His touch distracted me from my worries and that made me crave him even more.

His kiss had taken me by surprise, that we broke apart to breathe.

"What are you-" my breath hitched in my throat as his hands touched my thighs.

I forgot everything I was about to say. He didn't need any words to take mine away.

His fingers glided up the inseam of my thighs and I stared at his large hands as they moved. His touch changed into a firmer motion as his hands wrapped around my thighs. He spread my legs apart.

One hand stroked from my knee up to my waist and the other held my leg up, kissing my inseam. Zenon got up from his knees and pulled me by my legs. I fell back on the bed, my hands reaching out to grab onto the sheets.

He let go of me and pulled his shirt over his head. He threw aside the shirt that I had cried into and pulled at. I stared up at all the muscles on his chest and his abs, the shadows that they cast as he moved.