War Girls Complete Collection Chapter 152

Chapter 7

J

uly brought insupportable heat to Warsaw, and Lotte spent her lunch hour in the Saxony Gardens, the small park adjacent to the German House, wishing she could get away from her work occasionally and dive into the cold waters of the Vistula River as she’d seen local boys do. It brought back pleasant memories of her childhood and especially her brother Richard. Of course, being a woman and an employee of the Wehrmacht made that notion out of the question; she could just imagine the pursed lips and raised eyebrows of Oberführerin Kaiser at such a crazy request.

“A penny for your thoughts,” Johann’s sonorous voice broke through her daydreams.

She jerked her head around. “I didn’t hear you coming.”

“May I sit down?” he asked, smiling at her.

“Sure.” Lotte scooted down the bench to make space for him. It wouldn’t be appropriate to sit next to each other so either one occupied one end of the bench.

“What were you thinking about? You had such a dreamy look on your pretty face.”

“About my…home.” Just in time Lotte caught herself before she said

brother

. Alexandra Wagner was an orphaned single child.

“I have those moments, too,” Johann said, his eyes radiating his sadness. “But things are what they are, and we have to make the best of the present.”

Lotte’s stomach knotted every time she lied to him, and so she decided to offer him at least some tidbit of truth. “I saw the local boys swimming in the Vistula earlier and I dreamed of being able to do the same. Some cooling down in this oppressive heat would be delightful.”

“You surprise me every day, Alexandra.”

“Why?”

“Because…I didn’t think you were one to swim in a river. You always look so prim in your uniform.” He moved the slightest bit nearer, but still kept enough space between them in case of prying eyes.

“Oh. I was quite different when I was younger,” Lotte said.

And you have no idea how different. I even had another name.

She glanced at her wristwatch. “I’m sorry. My lunch time is almost up.”

“May I see you after work?” His light brown eyes lit up with hope and she hated to put a damper on them.

“I’d love to, but I have a piano lesson this evening,” Lotte said, wanting to run a hand through her hair. After wearing it untamed and free all her life, she still hadn’t fully gotten used to the braids that completed her new prim style.

“I could walk you there…” Johann suggested.

She feverishly debated how to decline his offer without raising his suspicions and decided it would be most inconspicuous to agree. “That would be nice.”

“At what time do you want me to meet you outside your office?”

“Would five p.m. work?” Lotte said, a genuine smile taking over her features. Try as she might, she couldn’t rid herself of his charms, and every long day that passed, she looked forward to seeing him at the end of it. He was a bright spot in the midst of the mounting tension that seemed to sprawl across the entire city these days, infecting everyone and everything. On the surface, things in Warsaw were business as usual, but that sizzling tension was as real as the simmering heat that made it impossible to focus.

Punctual as the

Reichsbahn

, the German railway company, Johann arrived at her office in the evening and walked her over to Ewa’s. Lotte talked like a chatterbox to hide her nerves, until he stopped and said, “Why are you so nervous?”

Lotte felt the tentacles of fear crawling about her skin. Great spy she was! “I’m…uhm…haven’t you noticed the growing tension in the city? It makes me all jittery.”

“So, you’ve been feeling it, too?” His brown eyes pierced deep inside her and she inwardly squirmed, fearing he could read her soul. Discover her true identity.

“Yes.” She broke the mental connection. “The Oberführerin says we shouldn’t worry, but at the same time she has us practice evacuation drills.”

He seemed to be satisfied with that response, and they continued to walk until they stood in front of Ewa’s apartment building.

“We’re here,” Lotte said, anxious to get rid of him. She needed to give Ewa the new codes for the week.

“Come out with me Friday night,” Johann said, surprising her with the request.

“Out with you?” she parroted with a smile.

“Yes. On a date.”

Lotte’s smile froze in place and she averted her eyes, hoping she’d managed to hide the panic his words created. She liked Johann and part of her wished she were still as innocent and carefree as she’d been a year ago. But the scars ran deep, and he belonged to the very party responsible for it.

As she’d made a habit of doing since starting her new life, she took a moment to choose her words carefully. “Just the two of us?”

“Would that be so bad?”

She unconsciously bit her bottom lip, before daring to look at him. “I don’t know…I would feel more comfortable…”

“…if we had other people with us?” Johann suggested softly, dipping his head to keep eye contact with her.

“Yes.”

“Very well. I will ask Helmut to join us, with your roommate. Would that be acceptable?”

Lotte felt such relief she gave him a big smile. “That would be perfect.”

“At seven on Friday then? And do you own one of those swinging dresses?” he asked, and her heart skipped a beat at the implications of a swinging dress. Would he invite her out to dance?

“I will see what I can do. Until tomorrow,” she said and hastened into the safety of the building, away from the man who made her heart beat faster, or stopped it altogether, with one simple smile. She had no business being with him, or anyone else for that matter.

In Ewa’s apartment, she played the piano with an unprecedented lightheartedness that her perceptive teacher immediately picked up on.

“Am I hearing love in your melody, Alexandra?” the older woman asked, and Lotte felt herself flush up to her hair roots.

“It must be the summer weather,” she hastily said.

“The oppressive heat that has everyone nervous and moody makes you elated and floating?” Ewa cast her a knowing smile. At the very end of their lesson, the first one Lotte had truly enjoyed, Ewa said, “I don’t want or need to know his name. I just want to urge you to be careful. Not everyone is who they seem, and if you’re exposed it will have repercussions on many persons, including me.”

Lotte looked at Ewa and answered, “I know this and that’s exactly why nothing can develop between him and me. He’s a Wehrmacht officer and if he knew…” She couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence.

“Take care.” Ewa gave her a short hug and said almost apologetically, “I have quite come to like you.”

“See you next week.” Lotte rushed out of the apartment, fully aware that the relationship with Johann would lead her down a dangerous path. She helped the Allies to destroy the likes of him. She hated what he stood for. But she couldn’t hate

him

. On the contrary—the more time she spent with him, the more likeable things she found.

In the dormitory, Gerlinde lay on her bed, reading a book. She looked up as Lotte stepped into the room. “How was your piano lesson?”

“Wonderful. It actually sounded like music today and not just random noise.”

Gerlinde laughed. “That was probably a welcome relief to your teacher’s ears.”

“No doubt. But I have more exciting news…”

“Let’s hear!” Gerlinde sat up straight, her eyes beaming with curiosity.

“Johann asked me out…”

“That indeed is exciting news. It took him long enough,” Gerlinde said with an infectious giggle.

“Well, I wasn’t sure, so I asked him to make it a double date with you and Helmut. You don’t mind, do you?” Lotte worried her lips with her teeth. Suddenly she had second thoughts about imposing on Gerlinde’s private life.

Gerlinde rolled her eyes and gave a theatrical sigh. “I don’t mind at all, but you really should have taken the opportunity to have him all for yourself. Anyhow, it’ll be fun, and we can still separate later in the evening…” Gerlinde pushed forward, planning out the entire evening without stopping. “I’ve heard there’s a singer scheduled for the troops and maybe even dancing. Did Johann mention dancing?”

“Not exactly, but he said something about a nice dress.” Lotte flushed, thinking of the meager array of dresses she owned. Mentally going through her locker, she knew she possessed only one summer dress: an old-fashioned, bland green dress with a bright yellow pinafore. The pinafore was the only thing even remotely fashionable about that dress.

“That most certainly involves dancing then.” Gerlinde jumped up and rushed across the room to open her locker, taking out three different swinging summer dresses, each one more beautiful than the last.

Lotte’s eyes turned wide as saucers when Gerlinde held up a spectacular pink dress. It boasted a sleek midriff with the skirt billowing out below, puffed-up short sleeves and white embroideries crisscrossing the waist, shoulders and skirt. But the dot on the i was the cute heart-shaped appliqué on the skirt with a pink bow and green beads dangling from it. The pink color perfectly matched Gerlinde’s blonde hair.

“Absolutely gorgeous. You’ll be the star of the night.” Lotte considered the truth of her words. It wouldn’t take much, because with her flirtatious smile and pretty face, Gerlinde always was the star with the men.

“What about you? Let me see what you’re gonna wear.”

When Lotte retrieved her green summer dress, Gerlinde’s face fell. “No way in hell are you going to wear that! My own grandmother wouldn’t be buried in that…thing…it’s so last century.”

“I don’t have another one,” Lotte whispered. The other girls had often teased her about wearing her uniform at all times. Truth be told, her clothing choices were extremely limited, and she couldn’t compete with Gerlinde, Heidi and some of the other young ladies from wealthy families.

Gerlinde shook her head, as if she couldn’t believe Lotte’s words, before she took it on herself to scrutinize Lotte’s locker. “You’re right, there’s nothing in there that’s up to the occasion. I’ll lend you one of mine.”

“I can’t possibly borrow one of your beautiful dresses,” Lotte argued.

“Of course you can. You don’t want me to walk alongside someone looking like the maid, now do you?” Gerlinde giggled and produced a beautiful cotton dress from the depths of her locker. “What about this? I never really liked it, because the color makes me look dull. But with your red hair, you’d be quite the doll. Try it on!”

Lotte did as requested and minutes later, she swirled in front of Gerlinde, Karin and Heidi, who’d just arrived at their room. The light grey cotton dress, printed with tiny flowers in white, yellow, red and blue, fit her like a glove. The simple v-neckline, short sleeves and a swinging skirt that ended just below the knees, made her feel sexier – and more mature – than ever before in her life. Just like Gerlinde had predicted, the pale grey, in combination with Lotte’s red hair, made the dress an eye-catcher.

Heidi clapped her hands. “Gorgeous. Where are you going?”

“Alexandra secured us a double date with Helmut and Johann,” Gerlinde said.

“The two dashing officers who came in from Lodz?” Karin asked, blatant admiration in her voice.

“Yes. The very ones. They’re taking us to the dance in the soldiers’ quarters.” Gerlinde fiddled with the buttons on the dress Lotte wore.

“We’re not sure there’s dancing,” Lotte said, slipping the dress over her head and feeling exposed in her underwear. She quickly slipped into her own clothes again.

“Yes, we do, because if there’s no dancing at the garrison, we’ll ask them to take us somewhere else. I do know quite a few places in Warsaw where they offer dance music on a weekend night.”

Lotte could only shake her head. She’d never even thought about going dancing before today, but leave it to Gerlinde to have everything figured out in order to pass a jolly good time.

Friday evening arrived,

and Lotte allowed Gerlinde’s enthusiasm to infect her. After a considerable amount of discussion among the four roommates, it had been decided that Lotte would wear her hair down. Heidi helped tame the wild curls into stylish rolls using pin curls and sugar water.

Lotte slipped on Gerlinde’s pretty dress and took a great amount of care with her make-up before she glanced at herself in the mirror.

“You’re beautiful,” Karin said, making last minute adjustments to Lotte’s dress. “Johann won’t know what hit him.”

The urge to stick out her tongue became almost too great to ignore, but Lotte practiced a ladylike smile and nodded. Maybe going all out with her looks didn’t serve her best interests? Johann might take it the wrong way and believe she was actually interested in him. Which she wasn’t.

Shouldn’t be.

Mustn’t be.

“Come on; we’re running late,” Gerlinde said, grabbing her purse.

Johann and Helmut were already waiting outside the building to escort them, and Lotte felt Johann’s appreciative glance on her person. Goosebumps broke out on her skin in the wake of his gaze. She could tell herself she wasn’t interested all day long, but the truth was different.

“You look stunning, Alexandra,” he said and offered her his arm.

“Thank you, you too.” She inclined her head and gave him a shy smile. Both men wore their gala uniforms, and she swore there wasn’t a better-looking man than Johann in all of the Reich.

They attended the concert and there was indeed some dancing to lively and upbeat music. Gerlinde, naturally, was a master at this new kind of dance, but after a while Lotte also got the hang of it and she had a fantastic time. Those moments of joy were so rare nowadays that she enjoyed them to the fullest and wished the evening would never end.

Gerlinde and Helmut disappeared from sight after Gerlinde had assured Lotte that she’d meet her in front of the dormitory by the time Oberführerin Kaiser expected them back.

“Let’s take a walk along the river, before I return you home,” Johann suggested some time later.

Lotte agreed, and they walked through the small park down to the river. She stopped to watch the rising moon’s beams reflect over the water. “Isn’t that beautiful?”

“It is. So peaceful…” he said, taking her hand, and they walked like that along the bank.

“I wish the war would end soon,” Lotte murmured, deep in her thoughts.

“Who doesn’t?” Johann squeezed her hand tight and stopped. “One day it’ll be over and then we can all return home.”

Lotte wanted to tell him that hundreds of thousands of tortured, mistreated, starved and murdered people in the concentration camps couldn’t return anywhere. And those who survived would have to live with the physical and psychological scars for the rest of their lives. But she couldn’t well tell him this without blowing her cover.

It wasn’t Johann’s fault, either. Despite his obedience to the Nazi rules and ideology, he seemed to dislike the excessive amount of violence used, because she’d never seen him shout at, degrade or hit a Pole like so many other soldiers did.

“Where is your home?” she asked instead, knowing the danger of the topic, because he might dig into her past as well.

“I’m from Munich.” He beamed with joy. “My parents have a small house in Schwabing, near the English Garden.”

“The English Garden? Is it as big and beautiful as they say?”

“Even bigger and more beautiful,” he said with a nostalgic chuckle. “Once the war is over I hope to be able to show you.” His words caused her to panic and she jerked her hand from him, taking a step back.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t scare me. It’s just…it’s best not to make plans for the future.” She swallowed.

Not because I don’t believe in a future, but because you don’t even know my real name

.

“I left my parents’ house twelve years ago on the day I turned eighteen, to join the Wehrmacht. My parents disapproved, but I had big ideals. Well, that was in 1932 and the world was a different place. The first years were fun. I got to travel, even spent some time in Shanghai. When we invaded Poland, everyone thought this would be a fast and painless war. We go in. We win. The end. But look what has happened. It’s five years later and we’re still fighting. And every day more of my comrades get killed. We need peace and we need it fast.” He glanced at her with eyes full of sadness, “I hate to say this, but I don’t believe Germany can still win the war.”

“You don’t?” Lotte kept her voice steady, but inside, she all but screamed. Even the Wehrmacht didn’t believe in winning anymore?

“Of course, I will fight as long as our Führer requires me to, but I wish the OKW would see what we see every day and negotiate with the Russians. They used to be our friends…”

Lotte rejoiced when they finally reached her dormitory, because this conversation could only lead to disaster. Maybe Ewa was right, and he’d been sent to sound her out. “We arrived. Thank you for inviting me out.”

He stepped closer to her and enfolded both of her hands between his own. “It was my pleasure.”

She felt the roughness of his hand, the calluses on his palms scratchy against her skin, and yet strangely comforting. This was not good. Not good at all. But it got worse…Johann stepped even closer, dipped his head, holding his lips just a breath away. “May I kiss you?”

Her breath stalled in her lungs, and she want to scream

No!

but instead she went up on her tiptoes and raised her chin to meet his lips with her own. The impact of his kiss made her legs give out and if he hadn’t pressed a strong hand against her back, she’d have tumbled at his feet.

Lotte awkwardly moved back, placing several inches between them once again. “I should go.”

“Have a good night, sweet Alexandra.” Just at that moment a slightly disheveled Gerlinde whizzed around the corner with Helmut in tow.

“Thank God, I thought we were late,” Gerlinde said and whispered into Lotte’s ear, “You won’t tell the Dragon anything, will you?”

“No. But let’s go inside or we’ll get into trouble.” They walked up to the wooden door and then waved one last time at the two men standing in the moonlight.