War Girls Complete Collection Chapter 155

Chapter 10

L

otte returned to her workplace, trying to keep her focus on the radio transmission and not on Johann’s imminent departure. But the content of the messages didn’t help to dampen her fears. The Red Army seemed to have renewed their vigor; station after station sent frantic texts about being chased westward. Devastating losses led to a disorganized retreat, as the Soviets sent the Germans scrambling to figure out their next move.

While Lotte reveled in the imminent liberation of Poland, she also worried for the men dear to her heart. Her father had been a prisoner of war for so long, he probably didn’t care either way, but as far as she knew, somewhere in Poland her dearest brother Richard was still alive and well with the Wehrmacht. The family hadn’t heard from him in a few months, since he’d advised them that he’d chosen to leave his comparably safe post in a rear echelon and return to the front.

She could only wonder why he’d chosen to do so, but that didn’t matter. Only his safety mattered. She scoffed.

Safety?

Deciphering the messages that came in, nobody in Poland was safe. Not even the

Wehrmachthelferinnen

in Warsaw. A shudder ran down her spine. She had no love for the Nazis, but the rumors surrounding the Red Army horrified her. In her position as a German woman, she preferred even the worst of the Nazi thugs to seeing a Soviet soldier eye to eye.

If Goebbels’ propaganda was to be believed, and in this case she was inclined to do so, those sex-starved men knew no mercy and raped everything female. To them it didn’t make a difference whether the woman in question was four, forty, or eighty years of age. And it certainly didn’t matter to them whether their victim died of the violation or not. Lotte hunched her shoulders forward, wondering about her time in the concentration camp. Was that agony the worst a human could experience or was ratcheting up the suffering even possible?

No, it was best not to think about the rumors. If the Red Army succeeded in capturing the city of Warsaw and the women workers weren’t evacuated on time, she would deal with whatever happened.

The next day,

Oberführerin Kaiser ordered all the female helpers into the room they usually used for the folkloric events.

“Do you know what she wants?” Karin whispered.

“No idea, but it’s very peculiar,” Heidi answered.

The women gathered in the room, giggling and murmuring, until the Oberführerin arrived and motioned them to be quiet with one move of her hand.

“You will be asking yourselves why I have gathered this meeting,” Oberführerin Kaiser began and looked around to see if everyone had arrived. “The Soviet Army is approaching Warsaw and our Führer in his immeasurable wisdom thought it prudent to start the evacuation sooner rather than later. All female personnel will be evacuated to their hometowns starting tomorrow morning. I’ll put up lists in the hallway where you’ll find the exact departure time of your train.” It became so silent one could hear a pin drop. “Any questions?”

A petite girl with long brown hair and green eyes raised her hand. “What if your hometown is already in Russian hands?”

Oberführerin Kaiser raised an eyebrow. “We all know that this is only temporary, and the Wehrmacht will soon drive the Soviets from German soil again, but I agree it wouldn’t be safe to send anyone eastward at the moment. How many of you have your homes in those territories?”

About two dozen women including Gerlinde and Heidi raised their hands.

“Well then, I will talk to the base commander about your case. Everyone pack your things and be ready for evacuation.”

Everyone dispersed to their rooms to pack their belongings. Lotte wondered where they’d send her, since she had no hometown or family to return to in her identity as Alexandra. She’d have to wait until the lists appeared in the hallway to find out.

“I don’t want to go back to my boring little village,” Gerlinde whined.

Lotte looked at her and shook her head. Despite being the youngest girl in the group, she felt like the grandma of them, always striving to be the voice of reason. “Boring is good. Boring means you are safe and away from the Russians.”

“But there’s nothing to do back home,” Gerlinde wailed.

“You will survive. That is doing something,” Lotte reminded her. “Besides, Helmut and Johann are leaving tomorrow as well.”

Gerlinde brightened at the mention of her sweetheart. “Yes. Helmut has planned to take me out dancing tonight. One last evening of fun. Come with us?”

“Probably not. Johann already asked me to go for a walk with him later.” Lotte grinned, placing the last of her belongings into the suitcase she’d arrived with.

“He likes you.” Gerlinde giggled, doing a little silly dance.

“I like him as well.”

And that’s exactly the problem, because now I worry about him and his safety.

Later that day, Oberführerin Kaiser hung the lists on noticeboards in the hallway and the female helpers gathered around, looking for their names and departure times. The group of women from the occupied territories found their names on a separate list, with the title

Evacuation pending until further notice

.

Lotte’s name was nowhere to be found. She knocked on Oberführerin Kaiser’s office.

“

Herein!

”

The Oberführerin sat at her desk, the phone receiver pressed to her ear, and motioned for Lotte to keep quiet and sit down. As far as Lotte could guess from the

yes, no

and

certainly, sir

answers, Oberführerin Kaiser was speaking to some superior.

When she finished her phone conversation, she glanced at Lotte, saying, “What is it? Are you packed?”

“Yes, ma’am. But I couldn’t find my name on any list.”

“That’s not possible. Have you double checked?”

“I did. Three times.”

Oberführerin Kaiser took out her own set of lists, sorted by administrative region. “Where are you from?”

“Well, I enlisted and took my basic training in Cologne.”

“Not where you enlisted. Where your family lives,” the Oberführerin said, while running her finger down the list for Cologne.

“I don’t have family anymore,” Lotte answered.

The older woman looked up for a moment, seemingly surprised, but her voice didn’t show any trace of emotion as she said, “Where was your last registered place of residence?”

That would be the concentration camp in Ravensbrück

. “I lived in an orphanage with nuns near Munich, but I had to leave that place when I turned eighteen. The good women won’t be able to take me back; they have enough children who need their care more than I do.”

Frau Kaiser’s long and slim finger trailed down the lists for Munich, Berlin, and all the other scheduled trains, but the name of Alexandra Wagner was nowhere to be found. After a while she raised her voice again saying, “It seems you’re not on any train, because you weren’t registered in any of the administrative regions in Germany. I have no idea how this could happen. You’ll join the group of girls from the occupied territories and wait for further orders.”

“Yes, Frau Oberführerin. Thank you,” Lotte said, getting up to leave the office.

“The Führer will not abandon you. I’ll make sure you and the other

Helferinnen

are evacuated to a safe place in Germany.”

Lotte doubted the truth of her words. From the way things were going, soon there wouldn’t be a safe retreat anywhere on the continent, and she could only hope not to fall into the hands of the vile Russians. From everything she’d heard whispered behind closed doors, it was by far preferable to fall into the hands of the Americans or English. Frenchmen seemed to take a middle ground on the scale of cruelty against German women but were still preferable to the Russians.

Johann picked

her up after work and took her out for dinner in one of the fancier restaurants that were reserved for officers.

“I heard the female employees are being evacuated. When are you leaving?” he asked, taking her hand.

“I don’t know yet.”

“How come?”

“Since they don’t know where to return me, I’ll be waiting here with the girls from Eastern Poland for further orders.”

“Oh yes, we cannot send them into the territories that are already under Russian occupation. But why you?” His tone was full of concern.

“Before joining up, I lived with nuns in an orphanage.” Lotte repeated her cover story, secretly longing to tell him the truth. She hated lying, and before changing her identity and becoming a spy, she’d never considered how much the constant lying, cheating and faking would bother her. What kind of courtship was this, where she couldn’t even trust her man with her real name? She shook her head and cast her eyes downward murmuring, “Let’s talk about something else, please.”

“What would you like to talk about?” he asked.

“Music?” Music was innocuous.

“Helmut and some of the others have taken their girls dancing. Would you like to go, too?”

“No, I’m not in the mood for celebrating. I’d rather spend our last evening talking,” she said and by the shine in his warm brown eyes he shared her preference.

“Come for a walk with me along the river,” Johann said and asked the waiter for the bill. They walked through the park down to the riverbank, where many other couples lingered in the warm evening, the sun slowly sinking behind the horizon and casting the water in a pink and orange glow. In the distance they heard the constant sound of mortar fire, like the drums to a piece of music.

“The Red Army is approaching,” Lotte said.

“Yes, but there’s no need to worry. They won’t be able to cross the Vistula. We have reinforced all the bridgeheads with extra guards.”

That was very valuable information and Lotte suddenly remembered Ewa. “May we stop by my piano teacher’s house? I know it’s late, but I feel like I should leave her a note, letting her know I won’t be returning and to thank her for everything she’s done for me.”

“We can walk that way.”

Lotte walked through the city streets with Johann holding her hand. An eerie silence cloaked the streets. Poles weren’t allowed outside after curfew, but usually any number of groups of soldiers and female auxiliaries could be found milling about.

They reached Ewa’s building and Lotte walked up to the third floor to slip a note beneath the door. Then Johann delivered her back to the dormitory.

“I guess this is goodbye – for now,” he said quietly, looking into her eyes.

She nodded and then on impulse, she hugged him. “Be careful.”

“I will. I want to see you again.” He tried a chuckle, but it sounded more like a snort.

He kissed her on the lips and then handed her a piece of paper with a number on it. “Here’s my

Feldpostnummer

. Will you write me?” The

Feldpostnummer

was an identification number used for military mail service. Even without knowing a soldier’s location, his family and friends could still send letters and parcels to his unique number.

“I should go inside,” she whispered. If this parting became any more emotional, she might blurt out her true identity so he would have a chance to find her after the war.

“I should go as well. We leave at first light.”

Lotte hugged him one last time and fled inside before he could say anything else. Her roommates hadn’t returned yet and she wrote a letter to Anna, letting her

best friend

know about the evacuation and that she would contact her again when she knew her final destination.

She stared at the four suitcases neatly stacked besides the door. Another chapter of her life would soon be closed.