War Girls Complete Collection Chapter 317

Chapter 36: Lotte

W

hen the family returned to Berlin, Ursula announced that she and Evie were going with them. Mutter, of course, had been adamant that Berlin wasn’t a place for a toddler, but much to Lotte’s surprise – and admiration – Ursula didn’t waver in her determination. That British pilot really had gotten under her sister’s skin, which reminded her about Johann.

She thought of him every single day, worrying if he was still alive and under what conditions. Rumors about the deplorable treatment by the Russians ran wild, but Lotte refused to dwell on it, hoping it was just that: rumors.

One day after work she was lying on the sofa listening to a radio program when a knock sounded at the apartment door. Anna and Peter had taken Jan to the motion pictures and neither Ursula nor Mutter were around to answer the door.

With a deep sigh she got up and dragged her tired bones to the door. Her mind was already formulating a snide remark for whoever had forgotten his or her keys and disturbed her well-earned rest. Even after her body had adjusted to the backbreaking work as a

Trümmerfrau

, she still returned home every evening with aching bones and raw hands.

“What…?” She peered at the most haggard, ill-looking man she’d ever seen. There was barely hair on his head and every inch of exposed skin was covered in red dots, some of them oozing pus.

His hollow eyes focused on her with some difficulty and he said, “I’m looking for Alexandra Wagner.”

The words were a punch to her stomach and she gasped for breath. “Who are you?”

“A comrade of Johann.”

Her heart melted and she gave the man a once-over. It wasn’t the wisest thing to do, inviting a bedraggled stranger into her home when she was alone. But despite his dreadful appearance, she was certain he wouldn’t pose a threat to her.

“I’m Alexandra. Would you like to come inside?” she asked, only to wish she hadn’t as an appalling stench wafted into her nostrils when he agreed. Forcing down the vomit coming up her throat she led him into the kitchen.

“Please have a seat. Do you want a glass of water?” He greedily nodded and she added, “And something to eat?”

“That would be grand.” His smile bared a row of black and broken teeth.

Lotte turned her head away at the foul stench leaving his mouth. She walked to the kitchen and filled a glass with water, before she rummaged through the pantry to find a piece of bread and some cheese.

“Here you go.” She sat across the table, a safe distance from him, trying not to stare at the oozing dots on his face, neck and hands.

“Thank you.” He emptied the glass of water and then began talking. “I’m Karsten. Your fiancé Leutnant Johann Hauser and I were together in a Russian POW camp in Voronezh.”

Lotte hissed and thousands of questions attacked her, but she didn’t interrupt his laborious speech, which was only interrupted by careful chewing of the bread she’d given him.

“They let me go, because,” he scoffed and gestured to his body, “as you can see, I’m no use to them anymore. I’m too sick to work. Johann gave me a letter for you, but it was confiscated by the bloody Soviets before I crossed the border. So I can only give you this.” He took a tiny piece of wood from his pocket. “He made this for you, so you have something to remember him by.”

A wave of emotions washed over her and she had to will away the tears forming in her eyes as she took the wood and looked at it. It had the form of a body and traces of a face, and with much imagination she recognized it was indeed a doll resembling Johann.

“Thank you,” she said, her voice trembling. “Is he… well?”

“Well is a word I wouldn’t use to describe any of my comrades, but he’s alive and in a much better condition than I am. Although it was only my deplorable condition that caused them to send me home.” He stared at her. “You are exactly like he described. Beautiful. He said to let you know he loves you very much and only the thought of returning to you makes him stay strong day after day.”

Tears ran unchecked down Lotte’s cheeks and she squeezed the wooden doll in her hand. “Thank you so much for going to the trouble to come here and find me. You can’t imagine how much this news means to me.”

“Anything for a dear comrade like Johann. I hope he and the others will return soon.”

“Can I do something else for you?”

“No, thanks. I need to catch my train to Oldenburg and see if I can find my family,” he said, rising.

“God bless you.” Lotte cut another piece of bread, fully aware that she’d go without dinner tonight if she gave it to him. “Here, take this for the journey. I’m sorry, but I don’t have more.”

“That is a lot, actually.” He bared his rotten teeth again in something that probably was meant as a smile and then left the apartment.

“Who was that man?” Ursula entered the apartment with a concerned look on her face that shifted into full-blown panic when she saw the traces of tears on her sister’s face. “What did he do to you?”

“Nothing.” Lotte bawled, holding out her hand with the wooden doll. “He’s… a… friend of Johann.”

“That’s good news, isn’t it?” Ursula’s question came out hesitant.

“I guess. This man, he was a prisoner in the same camp with Johann.”

“That means Johann is still alive, and that is a good thing.” Ursula sat on the sofa beside Lotte and put an arm around her shoulders.

“They confiscated the letter Johann sent me. Why would they even do that?” Lotte wiped the tears from her face.

“I don’t know. Maybe he wrote something the censors didn’t like?”

Another round of sobs shook Lotte’s body. “So we’re back to having censors again? Wasn’t that supposed to end with the Nazi reign?”

“It was, but since Johann is still a prisoner I guess they still censor the letters.”

Lotte looked at her sister, not knowing whether she should be happy or sad. Her darling was still alive, but after she’d seen the deplorable state Karsten was in she wasn’t sure that was a good thing. Another thought tormented her mind and she blurted out, “I don’t even know where Voronezh is!”

“Me, neither.” Ursula glanced around the living room. “If Richard was here, we could ask him.”

“Or look it up in his school atlas.” Lotte felt a surge of energy. “I’ll go to the public library tomorrow and find out where Voronezh is. And now I’ll write a letter to Johann.” She got up, leaving a perplexed Ursula on the sofa.

On the next day before work, she went to the Red Cross office to send a letter to

Leutnant Johann Hauser, POW Camp, Voronezh, Russia

.

The friendly woman at the reception couldn’t promise the letter would reach its recipient. The Red Cross had some difficulties getting the Russian authorities to actually distribute the stacks of mail received. But she encouraged Lotte to return every month with a new letter, because a letter not sent never had a chance to be delivered.

Lotte glanced at her wristwatch. She wouldn’t be able to make it to the library before work, so that had to wait until the afternoon.

The only library she knew of that was sure to be open was at the Berlin University. It had only recently started lectures again, having been closed down after the capitulation.

She waited her turn at the information desk.

“How can I help you?” the older woman behind the counter asked.

“Do you have an atlas I could borrow?” Lotte inquired.

“Certainly. Right over there. They can’t be checked out, but you can use it here in the library.”

“Thank you.” Lotte crossed the huge library, which still showed traces of destruction, despite the efforts undertaken to reconstruct it. She found an atlas and searched the index in the back for a place called Voronezh.

With trembling hands she opened the huge book on the indicated page and reverently ran her finger across the thick paper. At last she found Voronezh in the European part of Russia, about the same longitude as Moscow, but considerably further south.

On paper, it didn’t seem that far away. Especially not compared to places further east like Novosibirsk or Vladivostok on the Pacific Coast. For a moment she felt hope, but that was shattered when she made the calculations and found out it was almost two thousand miles east from Berlin to Voronezh. Not that she had hoped to be able to visit him, but two thousand miles?

No wonder letters didn’t go back and forth. All the hope faded from her heart. She clapped the atlas shut and returned it to its place on the bookshelf. On her way out, she passed a poster announcing the Berlin University was open for degrees in medicine, philosophy, theology and law.

Lotte gazed at the poster for long moments, remembering the moment in Denmark when she’d promised herself to fight for justice and become a lawyer. She returned to the information desk and asked the friendly lady, “Ma’am, what do I need to matriculate in law?”

“Your identification, permission of your parent if you’re underage and your high school diploma.”

“I don’t…” Lotte looked down at her clasped hands. Due to schools’ being shut down during the war, she’d never had the chance to finish high school and take the final exam

.

“Not to worry, Fräulein, you’re not the only one who doesn’t have

Abitur.

In fact most of our would-be students don’t have it; that’s why the university offers a semester-long preparation course. It will enable you to take the

Abitur

exam at the end and enroll for the course of study of your choice in the following semester.”

“Really? I could do that?”

“Of course. As long as you meet the other two requirements. Here’s the form to fill out. Come back anytime before the end of this month to start this semester.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Lotte put the sheet of paper into her bag and walked home more upbeat than she’d been in quite a while.

Her parents hadn’t allowed Anna to enroll in university to study biology, but that had been before the war. Times had changed, and Lotte was confident her mother couldn’t withhold her permission, not with Anna and Ursula on her side.