War Girls Complete Collection Chapter 175

Chapter 30

I

n the interrogation room, Lotte warily watched Marek, fully expecting him to shove the knife between her ribs at any moment. She stared at him, willing him to be strong and to make his strike quick and effective.

But the damned man stood in the middle of the room, surrounded by four Gestapo officers with rifles pointing at him. The knife held loosely in his hand, as if he pondered his choices.

“Kill her if she’s not a Polish spy,” Kriminalassistent Heller demanded.

Marek shook his head. “She’s a filthy German, but I won’t kill an unarmed woman. I’m not a cowardly monster like you bastards.”

Heller raised the leather lash in his hand and struck Marek across the chest.

“Don’t hit him, please!” Lotte yelped. But the enraged Gestapo officer raised his lash again and again.

Despite the vicious attack, Marek stood – swaying, yet upright – holding Lotte’s gaze. The determination and resignation of an entire nation expressed itself in his dark eyes. In that moment it struck her that they’d never let him go free, even if he killed her. Both of their fates were sealed. She knew it and Marek knew it, too.

It wasn’t a matter of life or death anymore; it was merely a matter of honorable or shameful death. Tears ran down Lotte’s face when she realized what he was about to do.

Marek’s hand tightened around the knife and before Heller could knock him down with yet another strike of the lash, he lunged at the Gestapo officer in a hopeless attempt to turn the tables. He must have known this action would get him killed, because he didn’t look surprised when bullets riddled his body and he dropped mid-air before reaching his target.

Lotte’s vision grew dim as she tried in vain to tear her eyes away from the dying man, who’d sacrificed himself for her. The familiar curse of guilt swallowed her, blocking out every other emotion. Another person lay dead at her feet. And she’d done it. Her. She’d never, ever forgive herself for Marek’s death.

Lotte woke with a chill.

Goosebumps exploded on her skin as icy droplets of water ran down her body. Her hair and clothes were soaked, clinging to her and making her shiver. She opened her swollen eyes and it took her a minute to recognize where she was.

Tied to a chair in the interrogation room – Marek’s corpse lying at her feet. Bile rose in her throat and she would surely have vomited if she’d had anything to eat since being thrown into prison God knows how many days ago.

“Good, you’re back with us.” Kriminalassistent Heller stepped into her view and took her chin into his hand, yanking it up to force her to hold his stare. “That bloody partisan was a fool. I trust you will be wiser. We know that you are a spy. You can save yourself by revealing to us the names of all your contacts in the resistance network.”

Her mind raced, violently spinning in every direction. She wouldn’t endanger anyone else. She couldn’t. Two of her best friends had been killed because of her rash actions…before…before she became Alexandra. This new and improved version of Lotte wouldn’t let this happen again.

“I’ve told you before. I’m not a spy. I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve never had any contact with anyone from the resistance.”

“Stop lying to me!” Heller yelled in her face, slapping her and splitting her lip in the process.

Her mouth filled with blood and she shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m a radio operator. I volunteered because I wanted to help the war effort.”

Heller sneered at her, leaning his face so close, she could see the dark speckles of bristles on his freshly shaven face. “You have a decision to make, Fräulein Wagner. Face the firing squad or expose your contacts. Really simple if you ask me. Your life or theirs. Think about it.”

“I can’t tell you my contacts because there are none,” Lotte said, forcing down the sob rising in her throat.

He shook his head and made a

tsk

ing sound. “Firing squad? So be it. Take her back to her cell.”

Lotte didn’t care that they untied her wrists and ankles, hauled her to her feet and manhandled her back to her cell. She didn’t care that they joked all the way and argued about who’d get first dibs at shooting her. And she didn’t even care that the male prisoner who had tried to rape her the night before was gone, and she had the cell all to herself.

She huddled in the corner of the cold, damp prison, resigned to making amends for every wrong she’d done in her life, praying to God that Peter, Jan, Pauline and all the others would stay safe. She had no idea how long she’d been sitting in the semi-darkness when a soft voice called her name. Her roommate Gerlinde stood in the cell, holding a glass of water and a chunk of bread in her hands.

I must be hallucinating. She left with all the other Helferinnen weeks ago.

“Alexandra. Look at you,” Gerlinde whispered, squatting next to her and handing her the food.

“For me?” Lotte greedily gulped the water and stuffed the entire piece of bread into her mouth, fearing someone could snatch it away from her again. She bit down chunks and stored them in her cheeks for later, savoring the hard bread, chewing, salivating, chewing – swallowing down tiny bits the way she’d learned from Verena in the camp. The bread changed its texture and became soft and mushy, the dough turning sweet as the starch dissolved into sugar.

“How did you get in here and why?” Lotte asked, suspiciously eyeing her friend. Was Gerlinde the one who’d ratted on her? Lotte racked her brain. She’d always been careful, Gerlinde couldn’t have known that Ewa was anything but her piano teacher.

“Kriminalassistent Heller sent me to talk some sense into you. Be reasonable, please. Just tell him who your contacts are, and he’ll let you go.”

“Is that what he told you? That he’s going to let me go?” Lotte laughed ruefully, the sweetness of the chewed bread filling her mouth and making her feel almost giddy.

“Yes. Heller said you’d go free if you tell him what he wants to know.”

“I can’t tell them what I don’t know.” Lotte kept up her pretense of innocence. The Gestapo couldn’t be trusted. If she told Heller what he wanted to know, he’d turn around and kill her anyway. She’d seen and heard it happen too many times.

“Why are you still here?” Lotte asked, “they told me all other females have been evacuated.”

Gerlinde cast her eyes downward and it was only then that Lotte heard the steps of a guard obviously lingering behind the locked door. “I missed the train on purpose. They were going to send me to a great-aunt who’s a nun. I wasn’t going to a convent for anything in the world. Oberst Braun was livid when he found out, but there was nothing he could do.”

Lotte rolled her eyes. This woman didn’t seem to have a modicum of common sense in her bones.

“And…” Gerlinde put her hand on Lotte’s arm. “I didn’t want to leave without you in case you needed me.”

“Aww…thanks.” Lotte still wasn’t sure whether she could trust her friend. Apparently Gerlinde was here with good intentions, but she couldn’t be sure. Maybe she’d worked for the Gestapo all along?

“Seems like I was right. Now will you tell the Gestapo what they want to know?” Gerlinde begged with tears in her eyes. “Please. Just expose your contacts and the guard will let you walk out of here with me.”

Lotte shook her head. “I can’t. I don’t know anything.”

“Come on. Don’t be so stubborn. Just invent something. Don’t you know anyone who could be a part of the resistance? Maybe the cleaning lady in our previous office?” Gerlinde suggested.

“And risk having the poor woman killed? I’d rather die than be responsible for the death of innocent people,” Lotte said, mimicking what Marek had done for her earlier. He’d despised her so much and still he’d spared her life. Now she would follow his example.

Gerlinde choked back a sob; unshed tears shining in her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I wish you’d told me. Kriminalassistent Heller promised you’d go free if only you gave him names.” She called for the guard to let her out, turned back at the last minute and blew Lotte a kiss. “Goodbye, Alexandra. I wish…” She covered her mouth as another sob rose up and she rushed away. The guard slammed the door shut, leaving Lotte alone once again with her turbulent thoughts and emotions.

Shame. Regret. Resignation.

She sat there, listening as her friend’s footsteps faded away, knowing in her heart of hearts that she’d made the right choice.