War Girls Complete Collection Chapter 47

Chapter 21

T

he next morning, Lotte had to endure roll call without Irmhild by her side. The missing comfort of a friendly soul constricted her chest, and she was cold – inside and out. It felt as if the very flame of her own spirit had been doused with Irmhild’s death.

White snowflakes danced to the ground, covering the camp with a soft blanket. A kindergarten song came to her mind, calling on a white snowflake to make the long way from the clouds down to earth and settle on the window, painting flowers and leaves on the glass.

Schneeflöckchen,

Weißröckchen,

wann kommst du geschneit?

Du wohnst in den Wolken,

dein Weg ist so weit.

Komm setz dich ans Fenster,

du lieblicher Stern,

malst Blumen und Blätter,

wir haben dich gern.

But today,

Lotte didn’t welcome the white flakes as she had as a child. Today, it meant her dress and shoes would be wet and icy most of the day. One flake settled on her nose, but she didn’t dare to move and rub it away. It sat there, slowly melting, the icy drop sliding down her face until she caught it with her tongue.

As children, Lotte and her siblings had anxiously awaited the first snow of the year. They would rush out to play, launching snowballs at each other and building a snowman. After hours of play, they’d return home exhausted to the warm kitchen and their mother’s hot chocolate and Christmas cookies.

How she missed her sisters. She hadn’t seen Ursula and Anna in almost a year.

They may not even know where I am

. She truly was left alone in this hostile place.

Lotte shivered. Her arms no longer had feeling in them they were so cold, but still, the roll call went on – and on. They should be on their way to work already. Lotte almost crumpled with despair. If they arrived late, that would mean no lunch and working extra time in the evening.

She despised the gruesome work in the factory. Each day, she was left with red and burning eyes after peering through a magnifying glass, brazing and soldering minuscule parts, making weapons to help the Nazis kill people.

But on days like today, anything was better than standing still in the assembly yard. At least the factory had a roof and was warm. In summer, it probably became a smoldering hell, if she lived long enough to find out.

Her mind still lingered on work when she heard stomping footsteps and focused on the approaching people.

God, no! Not the doctor, please!

Now the roll call would take another hour or so. The vile doctor walked down the line in his shiny boots, thick woolen coat, fur hat, and black leather gloves. She’d give everything to possess only one of his warm garments.

The doctor stopped every so often to select a woman who seemed too sick to work. All of them would later be brought to the

Erschießungsgang

, the execution corridor. Once they were shot, the doctor declared them dead and signed the death certificate. Even in the concentration camp everything was written down and preserved on endless lists. Then the dentist went to work to gouge out any gold teeth.

Lotte clenched her jaw at the thought.

Bloody bastards, at least you won’t find gold in my mouth

. But even without gold teeth, the Nazis would profit from her corpse. Bones were made into soap, hair woven to wool, and the ashes were used as fertilizer for the fields.

The doctor and a nurse approached Lotte’s line. The nurse was wearing the usual uniform of the camp nurses, topped with a heavy woolen coat, fur hat, and leather gloves similar to the doctor’s. Lotte couldn’t see her face, but her posture had something familiar about it.

As the two of them approached, Lotte looked straight ahead, rose to her full height, and bit her lip and the inside of her cheek to make the blood rush to her face. It was a trick she’d learned from Verena to escape selection. A pale face could mean your death. Another thing Verena had impressed upon her was to never make eye contact. Ever.

The doctor came to a stop in front of her, and she knew he was looking her up and down, searching for signs of weakness. Lotte summoned the scraps of inner strength she still possessed and defied every adversity – the icy gusts, the snow, her fatigue, and her fear. She stood like a statue, her eyes boring into the doctor’s chest until he moved to the next woman in line and said something.

“Yes, Doctor,” the nurse said, and Lotte’s head snapped up.

Anna!

Lotte stared straight into her sister’s beautiful blue eyes. Long months of being subjected to cruel punishments for the tiniest offenses kept her mouth shut and her limbs still, despite the urge to scream and wrap her hands around her sister’s neck.

No, strangling is too kind.

Anna’s face showed no trace of recognition. She looked at Lotte as if she were just another prisoner. Another unfortunate soul, dehumanized, exploited, and tortured in every possible way.

I’m such a miserable being, my own sister doesn’t recognize me.

For a second, a tear started to form in her eye, but Lotte stubbornly willed it to go away. She’d endured worse. She wouldn’t cry over her traitorous sister and risk dying the next day.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Anna saying something to the doctor, and he nodded.

Anna turned on her heel and said aloud, “Doctor Tretter needs a volunteer for his medical experiments.”

Lotte shivered once and then steeled herself from giving into the bitter cold.

How could Anna stoop so low as to help the Nazis with this most abominable work

?

Nobody moved, and the yard became silent enough to hear the snow fall. Tap. Tap. Tap. Lotte recoiled in fear, her ability to stand hanging on a thin thread. A woman behind her fell, and moments later, Lotte heard the whip cracking in the air. Then a scream. Then nothing.

Meanwhile, Anna had taken two more steps and stood directly in front of her, staring into her eyes. “You. Number 589452. Don’t you want to volunteer? For a chance to live?”

Lotte nodded automatically, the oxygen leaving her lungs. Her own sister had just condemned her to a fate worse than eternal purgatory. “Yes.”

Everyone around her seemed to deflate in relief that they hadn’t been chosen.

“Follow me,” Anna commanded and walked away.

Lotte obeyed, following her sister to the medical barracks and awaiting the worst.