Cruel Paradise - A Mafia Romance Chapter 106

Phoebe takes another peek out the window. “Still there, by the way.”

I chew on my bottom lip. “He suspects something. Why else would he still be here?”

“Maybe he’s trying to make sure you’re okay.”

“Please. He doesn’t give a shit about me. If anything, he’s here for the kids. Which is nice but extremely inconvenient. We need to get back to the motel and finish planning our escape out of this nightmare.”

“Give it a few more minutes. They can’t sit out there forever.”

I scoff. “You don’t know how stubborn he can be.”

She’s got her lips pursed and her head cocked to the side. A surefire sign that she’s thinking about something she’s not sure she should say out loud.

“What is it?” I press.

She blinks innocently. “What do you mean?”

“I’m exhausted, Pheebs. Just tell me.”

“I’m just worried, Em,” she whispers. “I’m worried about you out there alone with three—no, four children. How are you gonna stay afloat?”

“I’ll admit I haven’t thought that far ahead. But I’ll manage. I’ve saved a good chunk of the money I earned from the… um… contract.”

“Sure, but c’mon. You know babies aren’t cheap, right?”

“What’s the alternative, Phoebe? I can’t stay. Not with Ben around.”

My eyes flit straight to the empty space where the coffee table used to sit. Phoebe and I cleaned up the glass and shoved the skeleton of the table to the side so none of the kids trip through it. Now, there’s just a pathetic, threadbare rug, a few bloodstains, and one really bad memory.

“I wish I could help.”

“You’ve done more than enough, believe me.” I point right at her. “Best. Friend. Ever.”

She smiles and bats her eyelashes playfully, then glances out the window again. “Oh! I think they’re gone.”

I jump out of the sofa and rush to see for myself. “Yes. Finally! I’m gonna go get Josh. Then we can carry the girls down to the car.”

Josh is lying on his stomach on his bed with the curtains pulled right. He’s got his chin resting on his crossed arms as he stares at the blank wall in front of him. I stop short, struck by the haunted expression on his face.

“Josh?” He flinches towards me but goes right back to staring at the wall. I walk over to the side of his bed and kneel down beside it. “Honey, I know you went through something really traumatic today. We haven’t properly talked about it.”

He offers me a tiny glance. “I don’t want to leave New York.”

My heart sinks. “Babe, you know why we have to leave.”

“Why can’t you just get custody of us? You’re already our guardian.”

“I know but I’m afraid the system doesn’t work like that. A biological parent will always get precedence over a guardian.”

Josh shakes his head. “That’s not fair! You and Ruslan are more my parents than Dad has ever been.”

That one feels like iced water down my back. “Josh, just… come here.”

I pull him to me and hold him tight while he breaks down. Sometimes, even I forget just how young he is. Just how much he carries on those small shoulders. I’ll bet having Ruslan around made him feel like he could take a break and be a kid for a change. And now, he’s once again hauling the whole world around on his back.

He’s right—it’s not fair.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper to him. “I’m gonna make it up to you. One day, okay? I promise.” When he finally stops crying, I push him back just enough so that I can see his face. “I know this sucks but right now, we have to make tough decisions. And we have to stick together. You hear me, Josh?”

He nods somberly. “I hear you.”

“Good.” I kiss his forehead. “Let’s go.”

I take Caroline, Phoebe takes Reagan, and Josh holds the apartment door open for us so we can carry them downstairs.

The moment I step out into the street, I feel immediately exposed, as though there’s a hundred pairs of eyes fixed on us right now.

Paranoia, Emma. It’s just paranoia talking.

Except that the last few times I’ve convinced myself of that, I’ve been dead freaking wrong. It wasn’t just the paranoia talking.

It was either Remmy.

Or Ben.

Or Adrik.

Or a freaking black sedan driven by who-the-hell-knows.

Once the girls are strapped into their car seats and Josh is wedged in between them, I shut the door and turn to Phoebe. “Thank you,” I say, pulling her towards me for a quick hug. “Seriously.”

“Keep me posted, okay? I expect updates every few hours. I’ll try to come over tomorrow after work.”

“I don’t know if we’ll be sticking around that long, Pheebs.”

Her eyes go wide. “Seriously? You want to check out tomorrow?”

I shuffle my feet around. “I don’t know. My instincts are telling me that I need to leave as soon as possible. I can’t risk another kidnapping attempt. I can’t risk Ben catching us. I can’t risk Ruslan finding out about this baby.”

“That’s a lot for anyone to deal with,” Phoebe breathes. “You are one badass mama bear.”

“More like a desperate one.”

She puts her hand on my shoulder. “Sienna would be so freaking proud. You know that, right?”

And just like Josh was crying on my shoulder only a few minutes ago, I find myself crying on Phoebe’s.

I have no idea if Sienna would truly have been proud of me. A part of me thinks she’d be more pissed off than proud. I mean, I exposed her kids to a Bratva pahkan. Worse still, I’d let them fall in love with him, then snatched them away. I’m also taking them away from their father.

Would she be proud? Or would she look at me and see what I see when I look in the mirror?

Just a lot of wasted potential.

Just another stupid girl who made the mistake of falling for the wrong man.