Cruel Paradise - A Mafia Romance Chapter 40

“He won’t be bothering you or the kids again.”

“Okay—but what about you?”

That takes me aback. “Me?”

“He was looking for dirt on you. He mentioned that he knew a lot already.” She glances back over her shoulder before moving even closer to me. Close enough that I can smell her perfume.

Citrus, honey, and danger.

“I just…” She gnaws at her lip. “I know there are things that you might not want getting out there. I’m worried that Remmy might make good on his threats. He just seemed really determined.”

She’s genuinely worried about me. After basically being my errand girl the last year and a half. It’s enough to boggle my mind… And arouse the rest of me.

I take a step back. “Don’t worry about me. You have your own shit to deal with.” She flushes, but she doesn’t look angry. “In fact, I’m canceling our meeting tonight.”

“What? Why?”

The disappointment in her face reinforces my need to put some distance between us. Especially tonight. Today has been a little too involved.

“Missed a lot today. I need to catch up.”

“Right.” She forces a stiff smile onto her face. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

I nod. “Goodnight, Ms. Carson.”

On my way out, I notice the shoe rack sitting next to the entrance door. Not one pair is even halfway presentable. One set of basketball shoes in particular looks to have been taped up under the soles time and time again.

I stop and think.

She desperately needed my contract. Which is probably the only reason she agreed to it in the first place. That was fine back then—leverage is leverage, after all. But now that I’ve been here, reflecting back on that tidbit leaves me feeling fucking strange.

I’m assuming I’ll feel better outside of her presence, but those citrus notes stay with me long after I’ve descended the stairs and stepped back out into the funk and mayhem of the city. Before I drive back home, I send Kirill one last directive for the night.

I want a background check run on Emma’s brother-in-law.

I’m just doing my due diligence. That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less. Nothing that means a damn thing.

28

EMMA

Reagan has been on my lap now for almost half an hour, her head permanently wedged under my chin. I keep rocking her back and forth, hoping that at some point, she’s going to relax enough to close her eyes. Caroline is sitting next to me on the carpet, leaving both their beds abandoned.

“How about we sing a song?” I suggest.

“Okay,” Reagan agrees, peeking out from underneath my chin for a second. “But I still don’t want to go to sleep.”

“Oh, honey, the bad man is gone.”

Caroline picks at the carpet with one hand while the other stays firmly attached to my knee. “Yeah, but we’ll have nightmares now.”

“Mhmm.” Reagan’s muffled agreement comes from somewhere near my collarbone.

Sighing, I kiss Reagan’s head and then pat Caroline’s hand. I hate that fucking reporter for scaring them like this. And I hate that I can’t seem to do anything to reassure them.

If Sienna were here, she’d know what to say.

The door pushes open from the outside and Josh enters with—

“J, is that a sleeping bag?”

He nods. “I’m gonna sleep in here with the girls tonight. To protect them.”

My heart trembles with love for my nephew. There you are, Si. At least you left some of yourself behind.

Reagan stays on my lap, but she sits up at least. “You’re really going to sleep with us?” she asks her big brother.

He nods. “All night.”

Reagan and Caroline exchange a glance. The two of them adore Josh. They really do look at him with stars in their eyes and I pray to God that never changes. Everyone needs a big brother like Josh.

But as he rolls out the sleeping bag and positions his pillow, his gaze keeps flicking to the windows. Maybe this sleeping arrangement is as much for him as it is for the girls.

“You know what?” I say.

“What?” they chorus together.

“How about—just for tonight—you guys all bunk with me in my room?”

Caroline’s eyes immediately brighten. “Like a sleepover?”

“Exactly like a sleepover.” I turn to Josh. “I think I’d like some protection, too. Is that okay?”

Josh cracks a tiny smile and nods.

Ten minutes later, Caroline, Reagan, and I are crammed onto my narrow bed and Josh is stretched out on top of his sleeping bag on the floor with a pillow tucked under his head.

“Can you sing to us, Auntie Em?” Reagan mumbles. Her voice is already heavy with sleep.

I start humming. The moment I do, she cracks a yawn that sounds like whale song. Caroline scoots a little closer, spooning Reagan, and before I even finish the second chorus, they’re both fast asleep— Caroline in her cold-and-dead slumber and Reagan with her noisy little freight train snoring.

Josh, however, is far from asleep. He’s still in the same position, staring wide-eyed up at the ceiling. I slide carefully out of bed and join him on the carpeted floor. He shifts to the side to let me in.

“Trouble sleeping?” I ask as I lay my head right next to his.

He just nods. I don’t ask for permission; I just take his hand. “You know, your mother would have been so proud of you for being brave when your sisters needed you tonight.”

He turns his face to the side so we’re nose to nose. “Really?”

“Big time. You’re a lot like her, you know.”

He smiles shyly. “Like how?”

“Like this right here. She used to get in my bed at night when I had nightmares. She used to hug me really tight and sing me songs ‘til I fell asleep. She used to protect me all the time. Just like you protect your sisters.”

His smile flickers and falters. “Sometimes, I have to think really hard to remember stuff about her.” He licks his chapped lips and grimaces as he sighs. “I don’t know if what I remember is because I actually remember it or just ‘cause I’ve seen pictures.”

I swallow back my own grief so that I can focus on Josh’s. “Time is funny like that. It makes things unclear. But trust me: when you least expect it, you’ll remember something about her that you’ve forgotten you know.”

His big brown eyes flit back to the ceiling. I don’t see the tears on his cheeks until the siren light of a passing ambulance sets the room aglow for a moment. “Can you remember her?”

“I can,” I assure him. “Don’t you worry. I’ll remember her for the both of us.”