Cruel Paradise - A Mafia Romance Chapter 29

“If I accept their help, they’ll own me. Beatrice and Barrett may look sweet, but those two are cold, hard gangsters when it comes to their investments. And trust me: the littles are nothing more than investments to them.”

Phoebe sighs. “I know. It’s just a shame. They have plenty of money.”

“They can keep their money. I have my own. And what I don’t have, I’ll earn. With blood, sweat, and tears if I have to.” And sex.

I’m struggling to keep the blush off my cheeks, so I hide behind my coffee mug. “It’s more important to me that the kids are happy. I can’t hand them over to my parents. Not after what Sienna and I went through with them.”

“Hey, I hear you loud and clear. I’m just worried about you.” Phoebe sighs. “I don’t want you to give so much of yourself away that you have nothing left.”

I smile. That’s why I’ve always loved Phoebe: she thinks of me even when I don’t. Sienna was always the bright light between the pair of us, but Phoebe saw me just as clearly.

“Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

She gives me a sly wink. “You could prove it to me by telling me all the juicy details about banging your bad boy boss.”

“Ugh.”

“Wow, sex was that bad, huh?”

“No—”

“So it was that good?”

I shake my head with a shy smile. I know she won’t let up unless I give her something. “Let’s just say it was… explosive.”

Phoebe snaps her fingers and does a little shoulder shimmy for me. “Yes, queen!”

It’s easy to push away the unease when I’m with Phoebe. It’s easy to forget that I’m playing with fire. Just goes to show, really—rules are so easy to break.

22

EMMA

After breakfast, I say goodbye to Phoebe at the subway and cut across Central Park. There’s a city’s worth of people walking their dogs or lying on picnic blankets or running after their kids. It’s a perfect day for a nice walk through the trees.

I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t realize it until I’m passing right beneath it, but I know this tree. Sienna and I used to bring Josh here right after he was born. We’d lie around, just like all these people are doing today, and we’d talk and laugh and spend afternoons blissfully ignorant of the future that was hurtling down the barrel towards us.

I stop and look up. The tree looks a little barer now. Thinner in the trunk, graying in the leaves. I have that familiar pang in my chest. The deep aching stab that comes with the reminder that she’s not here anymore. We will never again sit under those sparse leaves and bitch about all the little things in our lives that we thought—at the time—would be our biggest problems.

Sometimes, I miss her so much I can’t stand it. That’s when I’m usually hit with memories I didn’t even remember I had in the bank.

“Did you see that? Did you see it?” Sienna said, grabbing my ankle. “He did a little twerk!”

I laid back in the grass, hands folded behind my head. I didn’t even bother opening my eyes. Sienna was always claiming that Josh did this and Josh did that. More often than not, what she thought was a sign of genius turned out to be gas.

“I’m not surprised. He is your kid.”

She smacked my leg. “You’re not even looking.”

“Si, he’s one. I sincerely doubt he’s twerking.”

“Just look!”

Reluctantly, I cracked open an eye and glanced over at my nephew. His chubby little hands were planted in the grass as his butt wiggled in the air.

“I think he’s just bending over.”

She threw me an irritated glare. “Look at that booty shake. Boy has rhythm.”

Josh let out a little squawk and pushed himself upright, only to fall back down again. Luckily, he had some squidgy baby blubber and a diaper to keep him safe.

I stifled a yawn. “If you say so.”

She grabbed her son and held him up to her face so his pudgy little legs swung around. “Auntie Em doesn’t understand what a brilliant, multitalented widdle bunny you are! Yes! Yes, you are! Yes, you are!” Sienna stuck her tongue out at me. “Your Auntie Em is such a square.”

I rolled onto my belly and looked up at her and Josh. “Can I ask you a serious, possibly politically incorrect question?”

“Duh. Those are my favorite kind.”

“Do you think you’ll ever regret it? Getting married and having a baby so young?”

Sienna’s smile didn’t falter for even a millisecond. “Nope.”

“Just like that? You didn’t even think about it.”

She fixed me with an unblinking stare. “You’ve known me for nineteen years, Em. Tell me, has there ever been a time when I didn’t know exactly what I wanted?”

I thought about it. “No, I guess not.”

She nods. “I may be young—” She twisted Josh around and placed him on her lap. “—but I will never regret my family. This baby here is my whole entire world. I would die for him.” “You say that about me, too.”

“Sure, but I never meant it literally.”

I threw my empty Coke can at her while she laughed. Even Josh giggled. Those days felt so ordinary. They got lost in the shuffle of bigger moments, bigger milestones.

I wish I knew then how much I’d miss them.

“Excuse me? Are you Emma Carson?”

I blink at the scrawny man standing in front of me. He’s wearing what technically passes for a smile, but nothing about it makes me think he’s friendly.

“I’m sorry, have we met before?”

“Well, no. Not technically.”

I frown. “Who are you?”

He offers me his hand before he answers the question. “Remmy Jefferson.”