Cruel Paradise - A Mafia Romance Chapter 60

Based on Emma’s reaction, I’m guessing this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. I see it now; I’m not sure how I didn’t before. I thought the wreckage of his life just made Josh sad. But now, when I look closer, I see the undercurrent of anger surging beneath it. That anger runs deep.

I know the feeling.

Emma ignores the broken glass all over the floor and kneels down in front of Josh. Her voice is calm and soothing when she speaks. “Breathe, Josh. Just breathe. I’m here.”

She pulls him against her. The moment his cheek comes to rest on her shoulder, his body starts quaking with sobs.

“I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, darling,” Emma says, rubbing his back gently. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

“Aunt Emma?” The girls’ voices carry through from their bedroom.

Emma glances at me helplessly. “Can you… can you just stay with Josh? I won’t be five minutes.”

I can only nod silently. She places a delicate kiss on Josh’s head and hurries off to make sure the girls are okay.

Josh turns away from me, wiping away his tears and avoiding eye contact. I put a hand on his shoulder and spin him around to face me.

“Talk to me,” I rumble.

He still doesn’t look at me. “I hate him. I hate him so much and it makes me so… so angry.”

His little body roils with the weight of his emotion. I know exactly what he’s feeling right now— because once upon a time, I was Josh, shaking with anger and frustration, without the faintest idea what to do about it.

I place my hands on his shoulders. “It’s okay, Josh. It’s gonna be okay.”

Finally, he raises his eyes to mine. “How do you know?”

“Because I’m gonna make it that way.”

42

EMMA

While the girls run into school, I put my hand on Josh’s shoulder. “Hey, kiddo, can you hang back a minute?”

Josh turns those sullen eyes on me and nods. We walk over to the low wall that circles the school garden and sit down.

“Am I in trouble?”

“No, of course not,” I assure him. “I just want to talk to you.”

When I went back into the living room last night, Ruslan was saying something to Josh in a low voice. By the time I saw Ruslan out the door and come back, Josh had already retreated to his bedroom. I crept in there hoping to talk to him, but he had the covers pulled tight above his head.

Say what you want about me, but I can take a hint.

“About last night?” He’s chewing on his bottom lip and pulling at the edges of his cuticles.

Gently, I pry his hand free and weave it through mine. “Yes, about last night.” “I’m sorry.”

It breaks my heart how sad he looks right now—almost embarrassed. “I know you are. And I know you’re dealing with a lot right now. I want you to know that you can talk to me, Josh. About anything.

Even about your dad.”

His lip falls out of his bite and quivers. “He makes me so angry.”

“I don’t blame you. It’s okay to be angry, Josh, but you have to try not to let that anger control you. I just want you to be safe. That’s all.”

He glances at me anxiously out of the corner of his eyes. “So you’re not upset with me?”

I wrap an arm around his shoulders and pull him as close to me as possible. “Of course not. You’re a great kid. The best kid I know, actually.” He gives me a tiny smile and I kiss the top of his head. “So you lost it for a moment. Trust me: even adults lose it sometimes.”

He shrugs. “I bet Ruslan never loses it.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” I poke him in the shoulder playfully. “Ruslan’s a person, same as you and me.”

He pushes off the stone wall and gives me a smile that makes my heart melt. “I’m glad Ruslan’s around. I like him.”

I have no idea what to say to that, so I point towards the school. “Go on now; I don’t want you to be late.” He hugs my waist and races towards the steps.

Great. Just freaking great.

Looks like I’m not the only one who’s gone and caught feelings for Ruslan Oryolov.

“Good morning, Ms. Carson.”

I spring to my feet as he sweeps down the hall on his way from the executive lounge. “Mr. Oryolov! Good morning. Your schedule is on your desk.”

He nods. “And the meeting with the Santino people?”

“Confirmed for 3:00 P.M. this afternoon.” He surveys the messy heap of papers on my desk and I cringe. “Um, I was just gonna clean—”

“How’s Josh?”

The stern professionalism in his voice drops for a moment. This is his “after hours” voice. The one he uses when I’m “Emma,” not “Ms. Carson.”

“He’s fine.” It’s an automatic answer and one that Ruslan sees through immediately. He cocks an eyebrow at me. “Okay, maybe not ‘fine,’” I concede. “He’s struggling.”

“I talked to him last night when you were putting the girls to bed. I want to help.”

“You want to what?”

“The boy is going through a lot and the fact that he’s holding everything in is exactly why he’s prone to angry outbursts.” He fixes me with that unblinking amber gaze. “I’m guessing this is not the first time he’s thrown a tantrum like that.”

I squirm where I stand. Would it be a betrayal of Josh to cop to that? No, I can trust Ruslan.

“No, it’s not. Far from it.”

Ruslan nods. “He needs an outlet for his anger. He needs someone to help him channel it.”

“And you want to help with that.”

“I’m uniquely qualified to.”

I raise my eyebrows. “How do you figure that?”

“Because I’ve been where he is.”