Cruel Paradise - A Mafia Romance Chapter 75

“I guess… it’s not a huge shock,” she admits. “Like I said, there were rumors. I didn’t really pay them all that much attention. Now, I wish I had.”

“I am a dangerous man, Emma. I won’t deny it.” I make sure to look her in the eye. “But I just want you to know that I’m not dangerous to you. Or your family.”

She holds my gaze and nods. “I think I already know that.” Her voice is barely above a whisper. There it is—that burgeoning sense of hope. That naive little voice saying, This could work… “Thank you for telling me,” she says.

“I had to tell you. I wanted you to have all the information before you made your decision.”

The anxiety is back. I can tell from the new lines on her forehead. “What decision?”

I decide to just tear off the bandage. “I want to add an addendum to our contract.”

She stiffens. “What kind of addendum?”

“Given my role as pahkan, I’m required to ensure the continuity of the Oryolov name.” She doesn’t really move, but her eyebrows twitch. She looks confused. Rip off the fucking bandage, you coward.

“I want to add a baby clause to our contract.”

“I’m sorry—did you just say ‘baby clause’?” Her mouth drops. She and Josh definitely have that in common, that same you-have-got-to-be-fucking-kidding me face. “Y-you… you want me to have your baby?”

“As I said, I need an heir. And since our contract has worked well so far, I figured I’d put it to you and see where you stand. Just so you know, if you agree to this, I will make sure you and the baby are well provided for. That goes for the kids, too. Josh, Reagan, and Caroline will want for nothing as long as they live. I’ll take care of their education, their medical bills, their clothes and shoes and whatever else.” She’s blinking rapidly, her eyes darting over my face again and again. I wonder if she’s even getting half of what I’m throwing at her. But since this might be my only chance to convince her, I keep going. “In addition, I will set you up in a new place. Somewhere large enough that every child has a room of their own. Somewhere with space for them to run. I will also give you an additional monthly stipend until the baby turns eighteen to use as you see fit. It will not be an insignificant amount.”

She exhales sharply. “That is… a lot to process.”

“You don’t have to give me an answer now. Take some time and think about it.”

She meets my gaze for a fleeting moment. “And what if I say no?”

I try not to let my body betray me. So I force myself to remain relaxed, unbothered, even though the caveman in my chest is beating a drum and howling like a fucking lunatic. “Our original contract will still stand whether you accept this new clause or not.”

She nods.

“But—” That causes her to flinch, her eyes colliding once again with mine. “—should you decide you want out of the contract altogether, I will release you with the promised severance package. I will even help you get another job.”

Her eyebrows knit together and her mouth comes down at the corners. She doesn’t seem wild about the fact that I’m willing, at least on the surface, to let her go so easily.

Hope kindles in my gut.

Maybe that can work in my favor.

Maybe there’s a way for me to get everything I want.

52

EMMA

A week has passed since the offer that rocked my world on its axis. I’m still pondering. Still dreaming. Still waking up breathless.

I need a distraction. But riding the elevator up towards Ruslan’s penthouse feels more like a recipe for disaster. I’m in no fit state to meet him. I’m in no fit state to meet anyone.

Today of all days…

It’s the whole entire reason I called in sick to work today. Of course I’d forgotten that we had a rendezvous scheduled for this evening and, instead of canceling like I should have, I decided to make use of the fact that Amelia was babysitting tonight.

So here I am, wearing my first-date dress.

Because the truth is, despite my mental state right now—I want to see him.

Even after he proposed the baby clause addendum to our contract. Because at this rate, what’s another clause, huh? What’s another contract?

This one just so happens to include a child. One that would be half his and half mine. I wonder if the fact that I’m here at all means that I’ve already made my decision.

No. Stop it. You’re too emotional today.

If there’s one thing that Sienna had taught me, it was that you never make big decisions when you are riding too high or too low.

I find Ruslan in the living room in all his shirtless glory. He’s got a wineglass in one hand and a book in the other. As distractions go, he’s a pretty good one.

“Whatcha reading?” I ask. He snaps the book shut and holds the cover up for me to see. “Alexander Pushkin, huh? Is he any good?”

Ruslan chuckles. “Only one of the greatest poets to have ever lived.”

I smile as I sit down on the couch next to him. “I didn’t realize you were into poetry.”

“I like beautiful things.” He sets his wine aside. “How are you feeling, kiska?”

“You don’t have to worry about catching anything from me, if that’s what you’re asking.”

He arches one eyebrow at my outburst of feistiness. “I’m asking how you are feeling?”

“Fine,” I say without meeting his eyes. “I’m fine.”

He accepts that wordlessly. “Then come here.”

I hike my dress up and slide onto his lap, straddling him like always, but the usual needy throbbing that accompanies any kind of proximity to Ruslan is glaringly absent today. I swallow the lump in my throat and place my hands on his shoulders.

Distraction, distraction, distraction…

I lean in and kiss him, my tongue circling his, waiting for the pool of desire to knock me off my feet like it always does. But I’m too aware of everything. I feel clumsy and self-conscious. I feel the lump in my throat settle over my chest. And it hits me: I don’t need sex; I need to cry.

And just like that, a giant, ugly, uncontrollable sob escapes out of my mouth—and lands on his.

He pulls back, startled. “Emma?”

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck…

“Are you crying?”

“N-n-n-no.”

“What happened?”

“Oh God,” I whisper through my tears. “I’m so s-sorry.”

I sure know how to spice up sexy time.

“Did I hurt you?” The fact that he even asks makes me sob harder. “Emma, what’s wrong?”

I just shake my head, unable to speak. I know that, if I try, everything will just come out in a warbled mess of unintelligible sounds. And I’ve already embarrassed myself plenty for one night.

I yelp, taken aback when Ruslan gathers me in his arms and gets to his feet. I cling to him as he walks me into the master bathroom and sits me down on the chaise lounge that sits opposite the gigantic drop-in tub.

As he starts filling the tub with water, I try to compose myself. That turns out to be a mistake in its own right; I just end up sobbing harder. I catch the scent of rosehips and hibiscus and, when I look towards the tub, I see a gentle pink foam bubbling on the surface of the water. Ruslan extends his hand out to me and I slip my fingers through his without even thinking about it.

He says there can’t be any romance here, but this feels like love I can fall back on when I’m not even sure I can stand upright on my own two feet anymore. I’m so beyond confused by Ruslan Oryolov. In the morning, I know I’ll look back on this and be confused even further.

But for now, for tonight…