Blood Legacy Chapter 107: 105. The truth

"Carina!"

I winced at the sound of his voice calling out after me, stifling that heart-wrenching need to turn back around and run straight back into his arms. I couldn't.

"Carina, wait!" He sounded to be closer now and I hurried my steps, struggling to put as much distance as possible between us. I was desperate. I needed to get away from him.

"Carina, we still have to practice!"

"Oh yeah? Well then you can take your practice and shove it up your ass! I'm done trying!" I angrily threw over my shoulder, not even bothering to turn and look at him. I knew that if I did, I would lose myself completely. To him. To his enticing charms and presence. His voice. His panty-dropping handsomeness.

I was done. I was so fucking done. We'd been doing this for a week now. Constantly trying to get my magic out. Reach for it and wield it. Except that every time it came out, it only came out to perform that sensual tangling with his, leaving me absolutely breathless and turned on harder than a fucking purring engine.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was fucking tired of it!

"Carina," I startled at the feeling of those sparks erupting over my skin as he gently grabbed my bare arm, almost on the verge of letting out a frustrated scream as he turned me around to face him.

"Carina-"

"No! I'm done, Darius! Done!" I angrily yelled at him, ripping my arm free from his hold. I couldn't stand it. I didn't want him to touch me.

"I'm not doing that! Ever again!" I pointed an accusatory finger in the direction we came from and his gaze roamed over my face with a tenderness I didn't understand or even wanted to see, my chin slightly trembling as I shouted out with despondency,

"I refuse to do it!"

He continued to peer down at me with that stupid look on his face and I immediately felt that burning sensation in my eyes. Of tears threatening to spill.

Fuck.

"Why does-" I thickly swallowed, fighting that tremble in my voice and those stupid tears as I quietly stood there for a moment, under his soft and overwhelming stare.

"Why does that keep happening? What the fuck is even wrong with me?"

God. I sounded so shaky and vulnerable. And now I wanted to cry. *Great.*

"Fuuuck! Stupid piece of- Aaaah!" I let out a loud and mournful cry, letting out all that anger and frustration boiling from within.

I wanted to punch something. I wanted to burn it down. But those powerful arms that quickly wrapped around me refused to let me do so, enveloping me with their soothing warmth and that comforting smell of coconuts and leather, giving me no choice but to surrender to that gut-wrenching feeling. So I started to cry instead.

I let those furious tears fall, my lips parting to let out small sobs and whimpers as I took ahold of his shirt and buried my face in it, bawling my eyes out.

"Shh...it's okay, kitten," that gentle vibration of his voice gradually started to relax my nerves, softly caressing me in sync with those fingers that traced through my hair.

"Nothing's wrong with you, kitten," he whispered and placed a sweet kiss over the top of my head, making me loathe myself for how much I enjoyed it.

"Then why..." Why did I want him so much? Why did I love snuggling myself in his embrace like this? What was he doing to me? Why couldn't I stay away? Why did I seemed to constantly crave for more? What the hell was wrong with me?

"It's...my fault..." So soft. So quiet and...guilty. Like a whisper of betrayal.

I almost didn't hear him. Almost missed those small and guilt-ridden words.

Almost.

All that mournful sobbing and whimpering abruptly ceased, replaced by a much more dangerous and vindictive storm threatening to fall.

My features hardened, forcefully swallowing down those tears and cries. And with a determined push at his chest I pulled myself away from his embrace, my gaze a furious tempest as I raised it to meet his.

"What.did you do to me?"

He didn't answer at first, his features remaining stoic and unflinching.

"Answer me!" I roared out, shoving at his chest with everything I had in me.

Of course he didn't even flinch.

But before I could even begin to scream at him again or attack him with my useless hitting and slapping his hand had already wrapped around my wrist, effortlessly stopping me.

"I didn't do anything. The fates did,"

I tried to rip my hand free from his hold but he only held me even tighter, bringing it close to his chest.

"Carina...You're my soulmate..."

All my squirming and resistance abruptly stopped, blankly staring at the middle of his shirt-clad chest for a moment.

My gaze then slowly rose to meet his, noticing that grave seriousness and even a little bit of despair glinting in those black eyes.

Holy shit. He was batshit crazy. Or maybe even I was too.

I suddenly let out a sharp and humourless laugh, noticing how he didn't even flinch. He really was fucking serious.

I started to laugh even harder, cackling hysterically as he continued to look at me with that somber and despondent look on his face.

"Are you fucking shitting me?" I shouted incredulously all of a sudden, throwing my hands up in the air.

"What kind of sick, twisted shitty joke is this?"

God, now I really wanted to punch him.

"Believe me, I wish it was," He quietly said, those black eyes now shining with nothing but pure and raw pain.

I unintentionally faltered and he delicately took my hand in his again, bringing it close to his chest,

"Will you please let me explain everything?"

**

I restlessly paced around that room like a caged animal, a million thoughts racing through my mind at a dizzying speed. To say that I was confused and scared was an understatement. I was a fucking mess. A fucking desperate and shivery mess. I didn't even know that to think anymore. What to believe. I felt like I was going to go fucking crazy. I was edging to the brink of insanity, so dangerously close to falling apart.

"Carina, you are my soulmate. I swear," I snapped my head to gaze in his direction, noticing that equally despondent look on his face.

"You were made for me, and I for you," he slowly approached and I forced myself to remain still, bravely staring up at his handsome and sorrow-ridden face.

"But..." I lightly shook my head with disbelief,

"What about Clarissa? And Nate?"

They were our soulmates! Our destined ones! How could we be soulmates too? That didn't make any fucking sense!

"Clarissa was just a stupid, childish mistake from my part," he quietly uttered after a moment, making my brows furrow with curiosity and even a little bit of shock.

What the hell was that even supposed to mean?

"I lied, Carina. I lied to everyone. My family, my own kingdom. Even to her," he replied as if hearing out my thoughts, my body giving out the smallest tremor from the staggering shock.

What?!?

I blinked and watched him nervously run a hand through his raven locks, roughly messing them up.

"Goddess...I was so angry. I've lived with that anger and misery ever since I've found out that I was to marry you and become king. I didn't want any of that. I didn't ask for it. It felt so fucking unfair!"

"I just wanted to be free, and live my life however I saw fit..." he said, that hint of helplessness and despair so tangible in his tone.

I couldn't help but stare back at him, too stunned to even react, let alone speak.

"I was just a stupid and selfish teenager. I didn't care about rules, duty or the safety of our kingdom. I only cared about myself. What I wanted. My own dreams and desires. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and create my own path. My own destiny."

"I met Clarissa in a random city I was staying in with my father for a couple of days because he had to attend some important meetings with other Alphas. And because I was to be future king, or course, it was mandatory that I attended all that crap too."

"I liked her. She was so beautiful, and kind and sweet," he paused to express a small and saddened smile, seeming to recall all that.

"I obviously knew that she wasn't my mate. But that didn't stop me from lying to everybody that she was, including her. I knew that she wouldn't be able to tell the difference anyway. Humans are not capable of feeling the mate bond. They only feel that instinctual attraction to us. To our strong genes and beauty," he explained, his guilt-ridden gaze meeting my own.

"And so I showed her what I was and convinced her that she was mine. I even gave my father the "great news"," he closed his eyes and lightly shook his head, a tired sigh blowing past his nostrils.

His hands balled into tight fists at his sides but he quickly reined himself in and forced himself to continue.

"I knew that they weren't going to stand in the way of my happiness. A werewolf's mate bond is sacred and nobody would ever dare to interfere,"

"So I took her back to our kingdom and showed her to our people, declaring that I've found my destined soulmate and that I was to claim her, renouncing my birthright in favour to my heart's one true desire," he let out a small and humourless chuckle, so visibly torn and dejected. He was hurting. And I couldn't help but feel that hurt with him.

"Everybody was so happy for me, even my own baby brother to whom I'd so selfishly passed on that heavy burden of becoming future king..." I thickly swallowed at the sound of that, my own hands clenching at my sides.

"I didn't care. I wanted to have my freedom. At any cost."

"I hadn't expected for the price to be so hefty though. My heart, my sanity," he said and I could hear that slight tremble in his voice, the tiny hairs raising on my body with apprehension as I already knew what was about to come. That certain part of his tragical story.

"I thought that I could cheat fate. Create my own path,"

"I hadn't expected for it all to have such a tragical turn of events. I hadn't expected for her to die. For the guilt that followed. And suffering," I let out a shaky exhale, my own heart banging with agony as I stood there, right in front of him and allowed myself to feel what he was feeling. All of it. That guilt. That pain and suffering.

"I was devastated. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep..."

"The guilt was eating at me from the inside out,"

"I realized that I've committed a grave mistake. But it was too late. The deed was done. She was dead. And my brother was to take over a path full of sacrifices. A path that I forcefully shoved in his direction," I didn't miss that slight anger lacing his tone. Anger at his own self.

"And all that for what? Just so that I could destroy some innocent girl's life? And his too?" My body started to tremble as I stared up at him, noticing that small and lonely tear that trailed over his cheek as he questioned himself all that with a burning hatred, his jaw clenching.

"I couldn't take it. It was too much. That guilt and sorrow was eating at me, tearing me apart little by little,"

"So I did the only thing that felt right at the moment. I took my own life and ended it all."