Love, curves and heartbreak Chapter 24

I was just trying my new dress, and now he is in front of me.

His beautiful brown eyes look hesitant, the color more attractive as he goes over every detail of my appearance.

It can't be that of all the times he's decided to show up at my house, it's only when I'm playing Cinderella, in his sister's wedding dress, it's ridiculous!

"Ethan...is Sunday. What are you doing here, in my apartment?"

If it weren't for the fact that I was so happy, and he burst my bubble, I would be embarrassed.

He took a few steps and entered my apartment, not because I'd invited him, but because he decided to come on his own. He seems to always does as he wants.

He approaches me as mesmerized until he is very close to me, without saying anything he just runs the tips of his fingers down my arm, going from my elbow to my shoulder and his hands cupping my cheeks.

"Priscilla... I just came here to talk..." he murmurs.

I am hypnotized to see him so close, I don't always have the opportunity to see his face so clearly, his eyes detailing me as much as I detail him.

His thumbs caress my cheekbones in a gentle sway. Until he leans down and kisses me. I just cant... say that I don want it. I desire this kiss with all my hearth.

This kiss is completely different from the ones we've shared before. It is an affectionate kiss, almost tender, subtle as a memory, as if it were the cherry on top of a cake, the last word of a wonderful poem.

This is the kiss, the one I always dreamed a teenage Ethan would give me. A silly girl in love.

His skin feels warm and his hands soft as his lips gently caress mine. I respond to this magical moment, quickly losing myself in this kiss, tilting my head a little to take his lower lip between mine.

His lips are soft and lush, and I am so close to him, his perfume reaches me, I feel his breath as his nose brushes mine and a small sigh leaves his lips.

What is it about this man that always makes me give in to him?

When his lips leave mine, I blink softly, but he hasn't opened his eyes. He just puts his hands on the small of my back and rests his forehead against mine, suddenly calming down.

It's simple gestures like that that make me lose my mind. He really knows how to keep me under his spell. Every. Fucking. Time.

"I just... I can't stay away from you... Prissy. I try, but…" he whispers, and I don't know if he's asking me or himself.

I can't either. We fight, we push each other away, we avoid each other, but here we are.

"What are you doing here, Ethan?" I ask again.

"I just came here, because I need to talk to you. I need to know: What do you want, Priscilla? That question is killing me...you don´t know how" he says, opening his eyes. It is especially difficult for me to answer with him so close, under his intense gaze.

"Do you want me to go? Should I leave? Do you still hate me?" he asks, and I have to shake my head, answering without thinking.

I can't fool myself, it feels wonderful to be close to him, I hadn't realized how much I missed this closeness. God, I love his kisses, his touch.

"I don't hate you...really" I confess.

"What do you want from me then? We work together, our family are friends. But I need to know... what do you want from me" he asks.

"I... it's complicated" I admit. This is a mess… what I´m doing here?

"It could be very simple..." he says touching my face, I must look like an idiot drooling for him.

Simple? I doubt it.

"And you? What do you want from me?" I ask him, and it's almost a request. He looks at me so deeply that it seems he wants to read my mind.

"I don't want to be away from you. I just don't want to be away from you, I... I want to see what happens between us"

Sweet lord... just thinking that there is an "us" makes me feel like hyperventilating. He must feel my heart beating desperately, surely he must feel it.

Between us like what? Like sex… like something else?

He has not told me anything concrete, everything is conjecture. I still don't know his intentions or even his feelings. But he wants to see what happens... in the future.

"Ethan, I..."

"Please be honest with me. I don't know if you hate me... or I'm just... wrong, overthink or… I don't know" I'm almost petrified.

I feel his warm breath close to me, his mouth is half open, his hand now returns to my face, caressing my sides, my eyebrow, my hairline, his other hand is still on my bare back.

"I feel insecure, I don't... I don't want to get hurt" I admit, and it's true, it's the most honest confession.

He was my first love, and then it all came crashing down like a house of cards. I don't know if I can open up to him. But after that kiss, and to be honest with myself... since that first kiss, I know I don't want to walk away from him either.

And at the same time... how can I let go, open up to someone who has hurt me so much? Will he realize the damage his words have caused?

No, I'm definitely not ready to open my heart, let alone to him. As I said, I have to take care of myself.

"What do I have to do? For you, what happens in Seattle, was just sex...? A one-night stand with a man you knew? An accident?" he asks. I freak out.

"Ethan... I really didn't mean it, at least not like that. I didn't want to make you feel bad," I say, caressing his face. God... he is so attractive, a dream. He rests his face in my hands, looking like a piece of art, tender, charming.

Has it ever happened to you that just looking at someone gives you a strange feeling in your stomach? His features are so familiar to me, so infinitely beautiful to me.

I think even if his face were different, his eyes a different color, his hair, his whole physique... he would still leave me in awe.

Because it's not only about his body... it's the way he looks at me, like he really knows me, like he can see more of me, more than the rest of the world.

Even when we fight, her body moves toward mine, like magnets struggling to separate. And now... in his arms, how can I say no? I don't know if I have the strength to say no again. Much less this adorable Ethan with puppy eyes.

"Do you truly mean it…?" he asks.

"Yes...I should not say that...it was wrong…"

How do I explain to him that he drives me crazy, but I don't know if I should be with him? That I terrified? That my heart... is still broke. He broke it years ago. I thought it was fixed, repair, but no.

I'm tempted to tell him what happened years ago, to blame him, but... what's the point? It happened years ago! Maybe he has forgotten, maybe everyone has forgotten but me.

Instead, I'm the fool who can't let go, who doesn't forget, who has this open wound and insists on not closing it. How is that possible? I should be able to get over it!

At the same time... he drives me crazy. I'm not over him, at all. I'm such a fool!

"Okay..." he sighs, closes his eyes and then opens them, looking determined, as if he has made a decision.

He leans in to give me another soft kiss, my fingers running through his hair, down his throat and Adam's apple, and I feel his heart pounding, he's on the verge of this sensation, just like me.

He pulls me closer and his lips pass the corners of my mouth, his tongue appears and tastes them with a soft and measured touch, as if he still controls everything he does like a bomb about to explode.

"Well then... Prissy…" he says between kisses, pushing me little by little until my back hits a wall where he holds me gently.

"If you want it to be just physical, sex will do"