Love, curves and heartbreak Chapter 70

"Ethan, it wasn't all your fault... things were hard for everyone..." I start to say, and he comes closer, taking my hand in his wet hands and placing it on his chest, soaking his shirt and catching my fingers.

"You don't understand... you asked me to stay away from you, and I truly believed that was the only way to help you. Everything you went through... how your sister mistreated you and also Kate... all the unfair and horrible things that happened at school and I did nothing... how you lost everything, how you found yourself alone, and I just went on with my plans as if nothing had happened between us, as if you, when you came back into my life, hadn't changed it forever, as if our history didn't matter!" he tells me desperately.

"Ethan, we already talked about this..." I say in a weak voice. "These were things that no one could have foreseen...we all did things in the past that we are not proud of" But he keeps on talking, as if a dam has burst with violent water desperately trying to get out and no one can stop it.

"I wanted to help you in your career, as if I knew what was best for you... Do you understand that none of this would have happened if I had been a different man? A more compassionate and empathetic man? I'm not the kind and nice man you say I am," he continues. I look at him in confusion and come closer.

"Is it true that you told Clark that I had to lead the projects? You knew he wouldn't give me a chance, and you made sure he put me first... Doesn't that make you a kind man? You are a good man…" I ask, and he presses my hand to his chest.

"Or that you did everything you could to keep my mom from losing her business? She told me everything, Ethan. Did you do that just to make me happy? Or that you talked to Lily about hiring me, so I could get more experience? You did so much Ethan" I say, a small tear falling from my eyes.

His brown eyes look bigger and more beautiful than ever, looking up at me in a bright light, alternating between each of my eyes in a beautiful dance, as if to make sure that I am speaking honestly. His hand trembles and I understand that we are both feeling strong emotions.

"I did it because you deserve this and much more," he confesses. "Your words the day we argued marked me forever, and I had to make amends," he tells me, and I can feel his heart pounding through my hands on his chest.

"I said a lot of things... I was hurt... I didn't know what to do!" I say desperately, the tears falling.

"You never said anything without a reason, without really feeling it... and once again you were right in everything you told me" he adds.

"Prissy... I don't know if you ever trusted me, but... I really need you to believe me right now...every word I say," he tells me, and I am expectant.

He lets go of my hands and I caress his face, my mouth inches from his, almost imagining the taste of his lips, feeling his breath.

"Would you believe me if I said I never wanted to hide anything from you about my work and the trip to Europe? I treasured every moment together, every kiss, every conversation, every touch" he asks.

I felt my heart racing like crazy.

"Would you believe that I relived every moment I spent with you as if it were part of a wonderful movie that I don't want to forget? Would you believe me if I told you that I was the unhappiest man without you?"

"Ethan..." Is he telling me this out of remorse? Does he just want to close this chapter with me and move on with his life?

"Everyone asked me what was wrong with me. Prissy... I came to Seattle several times just to watch you from a distance, at other presentations and meetings," he asks one question after another.

I blinked in surprise, tears streaming down my face as I looked at him hypnotized. I can't believe it!

"What? You came here? When?"

My hands are wet, small crickets are chirping in the distance, the air outside is cool, and I imagine there must be a bright moon in the sky full of stars.

But I have no idea what the city looks like because I'm lost in Ethan and his honest eyes, in the most intense emotions I've ever had in my life.

"Yes I did...for moths" he replies. This is… crazy. He was here!

"Would you believe me if I said that I have worshiped you since I was a child? You don't know this, but... I was a child with a terrible character. Lily could hardly stand me. I had little patience and was selfish. But when you came to my house, you were so small and innocent. I adores you" he says and smiles.

"Really? I never knew…"

"My parents noticed how different I was with you and saw an opportunity for me to be a better child. They told me that I had to take care of you, that you were a little guest, a friend, and that I had to teach you what I knew, you know... like a big brother," he explains.

"I didn't know!" I didn't know so many things.

I wanted to talk to him, but this… this is so much. This is a lifetime confession. so many secrets, so many emotions.

"Maybe you don't remember, but you weren't afraid of me. You were curious and followed me around. You played with what I had, but you also let me follow your own games, full of imagination and dreams" he confesses.

"Prissy... when you were home, I was happy. And so were my parents and Lily. That's why they adore you so much... ever since you came into my life, you've taught me how to be better. What have you done to me? What power do you have over me? I really don't know," he says, and I don't even know how to respond.

"All I remember is that we were inseparable, and I admired you... and then..." I say, stunned. I didn't know about this. To me, he was always the overprotective and adorable child. My knight, my hero.

"And then... you grew up, and you were still special to me. We went away for a while, and I just wanted to see you again. When we came back, I was already a teenager, and in some stupid way, I thought I would see my sweet little princess... but I found a girl becoming a woman"

"Those years...everything changed. I change, I thought you… hated me"

"I can't hate you, It's impossible. I discovered that I felt different things for you, things that I didn't want to accept. I was older than you, so I knew what was happening... I had fallen in love with you, I loved you," he confesses, and I continue to cry like a fool.

"Why you didn't tell me? You should have told me!"

"I wanted to ask you out, to be your first boyfriend. I wanted to be the first in everything in your life. Do you understand all that? Do you understand why I felt I had to protect you from others? They wouldn't see you the way I saw you"

This was my dream! Little Priscilla dream!

"I knew since I was a teenager that you were the only one for me, maybe since I was a child. But my parents said you were too young, and they didn't want an older boy to get close to you. Even though I was full of good intentions," he told me with regret.

Did he love me? Did he always love me?

"They told me to wait until you were older, that we had all the time in the world. I wanted to invite you to the prom, but... you know what happened with the boys, and I got mad. I decided to take a step back and focus on college. I thought maybe I'd meet other girls, maybe this was just teenage love. When Lily graduated, I really wanted to see you, but you didn't show up"

"You were keeping some distance...and I thought maybe that was for the best. I sent you a little gift with her and thought of you every moment. I wondered how you were, if you thought about me, if you were in college"

The little presents Lily gave me… they were from him.

"I hide... I was terrified" I confess.

"I understand... I should have looked for you years ago. So...one day I decided, I went back to the city and looked for where you worked. I recommended the company to my clients. They were hesitant at first, but... I would have done anything to be near you again," he says. With each word, I remain speechless, blinking like an idiot.

"I did everything I thought was best for you, even if it hurt. It pained me to see you away from me... it pained me that you came here because it was your dream, and God forbid I take you away from what you dream of and deserve!" His thumb runs over my lower lip and I enjoy its softness.

"In a few words... I have done all this, I have wanted all this, and I would do much more because I love you... only you, my princess," he tells me, and I hear him catch his breath as if he had forgotten to breathe.

"I think that for a long time, long before my mind could realize it... I wanted you with me. I thought about you every moment, day and night. Your perfume drove me crazy... I felt your hair tangled in my hands in broad daylight as if it were a dream. I literally have a recurring dream that you are dragging me to the sea, near our dream house, and I am drowning, happy to finally be with you. I would go to the bottom of the sea for you," he tells me. I closed my eyes and cry.

"I know you probably won't forgive me. I guess I haven't forgiven myself. I'll be whatever you want me to be, whatever you want me to be... but please don't go away from me," he says, looking at me in amazement, his beautiful eyes searching my face, waiting for my words.

How can I not love him?

How can I not forgive him? He was everything for me.

How can I not accept everything he gives me so freely?

"Ethan, I... I believe you... I believe everything you said, and I can't believe I didn't know it before!" I start to speak, crying, and suddenly I'm laughing like a madwoman, and he doesn't understand what's happening.

"Ethan... I've loved you my whole life," I confess.

*Hello dear readers,

This story is coming to an end.

Thank you all for your support. It has been a pleasure and every comment has encouraged me to continue.

If you like stories with a curvy girl character, you can find my new novel "Alpha's curvy bullied human mate" a wolf story here in the app.

I hope everyone is safe and well,

Kisses

Kika*