Love, curves and heartbreak Chapter 66

Time doesn't stop to wait for us; on the contrary, it moves on, whether we like it or not. It's astounding how a new routine becomes part of our life from one moment to the next, even with drastic changes, even when we incorporate new things we didn't do before.

The paths are different, the names of the streets, the landscape, the places you visit... and yet in a blink of an eye... it's your new home. Everything seems real, those streets are your streets, those names are familiar. We don't forget our previous life, but we embrace the new path.

Our brain guide us correctly, as if nothing had happened, as if we hadn't spent days trying to understand where we were, as if our reality was exactly the same and not completely new.

I've been in Seattle for a few months now, and it's starting to feel like home. I am already adjusting to my new life, with some challenges that I have had to overcome.

After much searching and a few disappointments, I have found a better place to live. It's still quite basic, but it's in a good area with restaurants, cafés and my design school close by.

I still can't believe this is my life. It feels like a dream come true or maybe the result of years of effort, work, sweat and tears. If someone had told me years ago that I would be here, I would not have believed it.

Step by step I have been buying things and decorating my new home and I can say that it is almost finished. Living on my own is a very different experience.

I miss Suzy terribly, but here I have my own rhythm, make my own decisions and dare to try new things. My life is so busy, full of interesting and new things to learn, that I hardly recognize myself.

After working in a restaurant for a few weeks, one of the contacts Clark had given me called me for an interview and offered me a new job.

It is not a small or unimportant company, on the contrary, it is a large company dedicated exclusively to the interior design of large residential complexes.

I feel that a new world is opening up for me, a world where I deserve to be, where I'm a real designer, not an amateur, not the girl who knows about design but hasn't studied it.

I have a good position and I feel respected. My colleagues are great, very professional and experienced, but from the first day they seemed to like working with me and I like working with them.

It seems that we are always the same, but we definitely change all the time when we are surrounded by different people, doing different things and in different places.

The new Priscilla is freer, riskier, and more determined to find her place in the world. She is not afraid; she takes what she wants and fights for it.

Little by little I feel more and more a part of this place, its landscapes and its people. Although from time to time, more often than I care to admit, I imagine Ethan here.

I imagine him walking with me, I dream that he is waiting for me after class, and I greet him with a hug and a kiss. It would be... perfect.

The weeks go by, and my course is amazing. There were times when I thought I could learn and discover everything on my own, but I realized that each person has a different, unique and invaluable point of view.

My classes and teachers help me think about things I never considered, challenge what I knew, and help me understand how design could be better.

My classmates are all kinds: eccentric, young, old and from different backgrounds. I no longer feel like a person who cannot find her place.

I think I have discovered that I have the power to build my place, my home, whenever I want, and that I will always have the people I love with me, even if they are miles away, like Tommy or Suzy.

Even with Ethan... it doesn't matter if I dream and fantasize about him, he's with me somehow.

I also start to have friends of my own, a few people from work and from the design course. I start to go out to dinner with them, to birthday parties, to exhibitions, and it all feels so unreal.

Now, I regret all the time I lost, years of avoiding new experiences, years of hiding, not going out and exploring the world. It feels like I've lost something in my life, but I'm ready to get it back.

At the weekends, I wander around the city and usually end up in front of places I didn't know before. I also make a point of taking pictures of everything I see: graffiti, little bands on the street and natural landscapes. I feel like a child discovering everything step by step, everything in a new light.

At night, I usually talk to Suzy, who tells me about her new life with her boyfriend, her new house and how happy she is. Tommy always asks about my new life, and we share pictures, information and usually laugh out loud about everything.

I really want them to come and see me! My mum gives me tips and recipes on how to organize my meals and some advice on how to manage my new home. However, she doesn't share much information about herself or my sister.

The financial problems continue, my sister has stopped talking about her imaginary boyfriend, and I fear things are getting worse. I offer to help my mother, but she refuses to tell me what is going on or accept my help.

Until one day she told me that my sister had been scammed. Her boyfriend was obviously a fake, a fraud, and had asked her for money to send some gifts that never arrived. Sweet God... I don't even know what I'm surprised.

Caroline made several transfers to pay for the postage of the non-existent gifts, taking money from my mother's business and leaving the figures in the red.

My mother analyzed whether it was necessary to sell the business to pay debts to suppliers, workers, etc. Unfortunately, my sister fell for this scam, no matter how much we told her to be careful.

I was upset because my mother had put a lot of effort into her beauty salon; she was proud of it. I am sure she was trying to help my sister, but in the end she got caught up in Caroline's bad decisions. I decided to bring my mum home for a few days to help her relax after such a difficult time.

And Ethan... we talked sometimes. At first, he just asked me how I was doing, and I asked him the same. But as the days go by, we talk about everything: news, memories of the good times we had together, our childhood, everything.

Sometimes we talk on the phone and I enjoy listening to his voice and his comments about my city, his work and some news about his family, Lily, some news about Clark and my previous work.

He asks about my life... I hear him happy, but he doesn't say much about Europe or... anything about his life, what is he doing, details… actually.

Sometimes I feel like our relationship is just that, a few phone calls, a few texts, and sometimes I wonder if we could really be together again. Although I know it's harder than that.

Maybe I have changed and so has he. But still, these little connections make me feel like he's close and I feel happy. It's like he's with me in some way, and that makes me feel better, like I'm not a stranger to him, and he's not a stranger to me. Am I silly to think this way?

He is there, so are my friends, my mum and this new city that gives me an opportunity. While he has his life and I have mine, this is a new opportunity that I intend to seize with everything it has to offer.

I won't deny that some days I fantasize that he will surprise me and come to see me. We do a thousand things, I show him the city, I take pictures of him, and I am happy and he... he is just radiant.

Finally, I dream that he stays with me for a few days, where we sleep side by side, not wanting to be separated for a second. But these are just fantasies. Every day I meet new people, but his memory is like a shadow. I long for Ethan around every corner.

Ethan told me he'd be there for me. So all I can do is wait and see what happens, expectant to know what the future holds for us. I can only pray and hope with all my might that we might have a new chance. Someday.

I don't know if he's waiting for me or if he wants to change his life. He is still in Europe, and I am here... each with our own lives, problems and challenges.

What I am sure of is that I have to take this path. I have achieved this by myself, it is my dream and I have to enjoy it. And trust that destiny will bring us a new moment, a moment together.

*Dear readers,

I hope you are enjoying the story, and thank you for your comments :)

Kisses,

Kika*