Love, curves and heartbreak Chapter 27

"So it means that we are going to sleep together..." I say.

"It means we don't go out with other people or sleep with other people," he said.

I don't know what the big issue is... I mean... I don't go out with anyone, let alone sleep with anyone. Not that I have a list of men waiting for me. Besides... I mean... why would I want to sleep with any man but Ethan?

Not only is he the man I've always liked, but he's sexy and an excellent, generous, and...skilled.

I want to tell him that I'm just the cubby girl. What is his point?

"Okay... I´m in..."

"I mean... no hanging out with your neighbor"

"Nothing with Rob... okay" I say, but he doesn't seem to believe me.

"Ethan... I just have a few dates with him" I add. Yeah... he doesn't believe me.

"I haven't been out with Rob in a long time, he's not my boyfriend and I haven't slept with him" I tell him and he gives me a satisfied smile.

"Good to know... however it also includes my cousin" he says seriously, raising an eyebrow.

What? It doesn't makes sense. Tommy? Really?

"But... Tommy is my best friend"

"No... Suzy is your friend... Tommy is something else" he adds.

"Are you crazy? We don't date. God, no! He is one of my few friends, and believe me when I tell you that it has not been easy for me to make friends. I can't get him out of my life. " He seems to hesitate for a while. He doesn't seem very sympathetic.

"I'm pretty sure he thinks otherwise" he adds.

"Ethan... that is nonsense... I promise we are just friend" I say caressing his hands. He seems to like that small touch and he nods.

"Okay...are there any other suitors I should know about? Someone at work, another neighbor, an ex? He asks, and I almost choke on my coffee.

Ha! So funny! I shake my head, and he seems to believe me. It's the best joke in the world, and he doesn't even know it's a joke. Which makes it all the better.

After a while of silence, I ask him about something that is bothering me. This request that we be exclusive... is it for real? It seems like he has more to lose than I do. I mean... he is he... I am... me.

"Ethan...are you sure you don't want to go out with anyone else? To be exclusive? Just you and me?" He looks at me with a frown, I already feel that I can read his expression better, and now he is definitely angry about my question, although he tries to hide it. He is certainly not someone who is used to showing his feelings.

Why should he just stay with me? Just for sex? I find that hard to believe.

"What are you talking about? Wouldn't you mind if I dated other women?" is a cold question. He's back to the Ethan I knew as an adult.

I don't want to see him with other women, but I'm not naive. He is an attractive, powerful, intelligent man, millions of women would seduce him, many would die to stay in his bed.

"Well, it's different. I don't go out with anyone, whereas... you must have a lot of women who want to be with you" I say.

"Why... why do you think that?" he responds. I want to say because he is fucking gorgeous, successful and a excellent catch.

"Well... I mean... you are young, I thought you want to enjoy your life?"

"Prissy... I enjoy my life and that doesn't mean I go to bed with any woman," he says, looking at me almost insultingly. I shrug and nod.

The reality is that I have not seen him with or talking about other women.

It is also true that he is a very reserved man with his private life, I think I don't know many things about him. But, if he's willing, that's fine with me. Maybe he's still seeing other women and just lying to me to look like a gentleman.

Yeah... this is probably the case.

"Ethan, if for some reason you wanted to go out with someone else, would you tell me?" He looks at me again, stunned.

"It won't happen, but... I would tell you and I would appreciate it if you did the same" he says directly, trying to calm down.

Why is he so sure? It doesn't seem very logical to me, but he continues the conversation as if we were done with the subject.

"Now you... what do you want? Something that we both agree" he says and looks at me intently. I keep thinking, there is only one thing I want to set limits on, the one that is really important to me.

"It would be something physical... no strings attached. Right?" quickly see that he doesn't like it. Man... he is angry again.

"I'm just trying to be honest, Ethan. You said we should have boundaries" he stays quiet and sighs, but slowly nods.

"Okay, no feelings. But anything physical, that's included" He tells me confidently and I feel a little lighter.

He was the one who said it was strictly physical, right? But I don't really know what he means with his last comment.

"One rule that I think is very important for both of us is that we always use protection," he says, and I immediately agree.

It seems like a nice point coming from him, it should be standard, but men... you know. It's my turn again, I keep thinking.

"Mmm, I'd prefer if we didn't tell our families that we're in this ...., whatever it is. I don't think our colleagues at the office should know either" I say, and it seems that he doesn't like any of my rules because his forehead furrows again.

"I understand at the office, but... why do you want us to be hidden? Our family? What's wrong with someone knowing that we see each other? I don't understand Prissy" he asks stunned.

"I don't want my family and yours to know that we're, you know... sleeping together. Much less that we have an agreement that we are, what, sex buddies? " I say and he is horrified.

"Sex buddies... really?" "I don't know Ethan... there is no label for this..." I say. He is mad at me... I don't think there is anything wrong with it, I was just never like that, maybe because I never thought someone would like me, least of all just for sex.

I never thought I would be comfortable with that either. Just sex... no that new for me.

"Nobody? A complete secret?" he asks, still upset.

"Suzy would know, of course, because we live together and if you want to tell someone about it, I don't think it's a problem.

But not to our families or at work" he nods.

"Fine, don't like it... but if it is important to you..." he says, although it is obvious that this makes him uncomfortable, I don't know why.

"My turn: even if it's just physical, I would like to have moments like this" he points. I frown, confused.

"Something like... breakfast, lunch? Dates?"

"I wouldn't say dates, it would be more like hanging out like friends from time to time. I think it's nice to have someone to talk to"

Well... I didn't see that coming, it seems kind of ambiguous. What a strange request. I don't like the idea of us being friends with benefits, for me friendship is a different concept.

Maybe I should stop thinking that we have to put labels on it. At the end of the day it is an arrangement between him and me, we are both adults, it is our decision.

Sex... great sex. Exclusively with him... protection, a secret. With kind of dates. Noted.

"Okay, I guess..." I tell him and he smiles. I still think that I know nothing about his life. Maybe it's better to know him, to know who I'm dealing with.

"We could meet in my apartment. Maybe somewhere else... a hotel..." he says....and I suddenly feel anxious, bite my lip and remain silent.

Okay... this is becoming too real. Going to his apartment, to a hotel, to an unknown place. Suddenly I don't feel so adventurous or brave. Here on the walls of my apartment, my room, in a place I know, it seemed so much easier.

It seems a bit cold to go to a hotel just to have sex. But... this is what I agreed to, right? No strings attached. Lots of women do it, maybe I'm old-fashioned.

I have only been with my boyfriends, not that they were very memorable, but it is the truth.

"We can come here if you want. I mentioned my apartment because I didn't want to bother your roommate, that would be weird. But it can be anywhere you feel comfortable," he says suddenly, stroking my hand again with his long fingers.

Suzy and I always laugh because I don't bring anyone. I nod and agree.

"Well... anything else?" he asks, and I think everything is clear.

He seems a little reluctant to leave, but it's the weekend, I guess he has things to do, he's a busy man.

When we're at the door, he puts his hands on my hips, rests his palms there, and presses his fingers possessively into my pants. He seems to get lost for a moment, I get more and more used to his closeness. To say I don't like it would be to lie to myself.

"It's been... a very nice couple of hours with you, Prissy," he whispers, brushing strands of hair from my face. He leans in to kiss me, and it's strange... a goodbye kiss.

It's intense, possessive, as if his hands are pressing me against him, as if he wants to keep me as close to his body as possible.

One hand slips through the back pocket of my pants and squeezes my butt. I feel dizzy after his lips leave my mouth. That kiss was full of promises. Good lord.

"I will wait you at the office... I want to see you again. I can't wait for our arrangement to begin," he tells me in his most seductive voice and makes me sigh like a complete fool.

He keeps giving me this mischievous look, biting his lip, sure of himself, like he's king of the world.

For me... he surely is. I stand in the doorway like a stupid, my hand on my chest, feeling the wild beats of my heart.

"What on earth have I gotten myself into?"