Losing Control : His Madness, His Cure Chapter 101

My fists clench at my sides. It’s all I can do not to reach for him, not to drag him close, because a pissed-off Xander is the hardest damn thing in the world to resist. “He’s...an old friend,” I manage, though even I can hear the hesitation in my voice. Nate doesn’t really feel like a friend, not anymore.

Xander lets out a humorless laugh. “Yeah? You just let your friends hang around your place half naked this fucking late?”

I shrug, jaw tight. “I hadn’t seen him in years. Then he showed up, said he needed a place to crash for a few days. So I said yes.” My mouth twists bitterly. “ I was already regretting that decision. More so now.”

Xander’s glare sharpens, slicing into me. “For how long has he been staying with you?”

I drag a hand over my face, sighing as I close my eyes for a second. “A few days.”

“How many?!”

My eyes snap open. “I don't know, like five?!”

He nods once, steps in close again, that rage radiating off him in waves. “And why the hell didn’t you tell me? That sounds like the sort of detail you’d mention to your boyfriend.”

The word slams into me. Boyfriend. First time either of us has said it out loud. It does something sharp and dangerous in my chest, fear tangled with affection... lust riding shotgun.

Before I know it, I’m reaching for him. Needing him, but he jerks back, strong and unyielding, shaking his head.

“If he’s just a friend,” he spits, “you should’ve mentioned it. Wouldn’t have cost you a damn thing, Jax. Instead I get blindsided by that little welcome party out there.”

I close the distance anyway, pressing in, caging him against the cold metal wall. My voice drops. “You jealous, Xander?”

His glare doesn’t waver, and there's no hesitation in his response. “Of course I fucking am!” The words are blunt, torn from him, and they light something wild in me.

My hand finds his chest, sliding lower, tracing over the lines of him, lower still. “I know what you need,” I murmur, voice dark, heat bleeding into every word.

“Jax…” he shakes his head, the sound of my name half a warning, half a plea. Pissed and needy all at once. It makes my pulse thunder. But then he shoves me back, hard. He’s strong when he wants to be, and he uses it. I stumble a step, chest heaving.

“No.” His voice is steel. “You’re not getting out of this by distracting me.”

I grin, sharp, unsteady. “You sure? Cause I think it’s working.”

“JAX!” His voice cuts like a blade, stern and so damn commanding.

My patience snaps. “He’s a fucking friend, Xander!” I shout back, the words cracking through the small space. “That’s it.”

The space between us hums with tension, every breath sharp enough to cut. Anger, lust, frustration...it’s all there, pulsing in the silence, daring one of us to break first.

Xander’s chest is heaving, his glare locked on mine. His voice comes out clipped, like he’s forcing it through clenched teeth. “You don’t get it, Jax. You can't just keep shit like this from me. Because then I’m gonna be the idiot standing outside your door staring at some half-naked guy—”

“Stop.” I cut him off, stepping in again, my hand braced on the wall beside his head. “You’re not an idiot.”

His eyes flash. “Then don't treat me like I am.”

My throat works, but the words won’t come, so I reach instead. My fingers slide along his jaw, rough but careful, forcing his face up toward mine. He jerks, trying to shove me off again, but I press in, caging him with my body.

“Don’t fucking touch me like that just to shut me up,” he snaps, his voice tight.

My mouth curves into something sharp, my voice low against his ear. “I'm not trying to shut you up. I happen to like it when you’re loud. Especially when it’s for me.”

He curses under his breath, palms flat against my chest, pushing hard, but not hard enough to make me move. “You think this is a joke?”

“No,” I grind out, “But seeing you worked up like this...jealous, ready to tear me apart? It’s doing filthy things to me, Xander, I can’t fucking help it.”

“God, you’re such an asshole,” he bites out, but there’s a crack in it now, heat bleeding through the fury.

I let my hand drift lower, over his chest, down his stomach, slow enough he can shove me off if he really wants to, but he doesn’t. His breath hitches.

“Say it again,” I rasp, my mouth brushing his jaw, my hand curling tighter at his waist. “Tell me you’re jealous....”

His grip fists my shirt, dragging me in so close I can taste his anger. His eyes burn into mine as he spits, “I’m not here to stroke your fucking ego, Jax. I'm not helping you get off by handing you little confessions like that."

“Yeah?” I rasp, sliding my hand down his back, gripping his ass just to feel him jerk against me. “You know what I think? I think you’re so far gone for me you can’t even stand the thought of anyone else near me. And fuck, ” my teeth catch his jaw, “...I love how feisty it makes you.”

He shoves at my chest, his breath hitching. “You’re a cocky bastard, I don't even..” he starts to say, his voice ragged.

But I crush my mouth to his, swallowing the rest of the sentence. He meets me with the same fire he came in with, biting, demanding, shoving me back even as he drags me closer. It’s a mess of anger and want, a collision more than a kiss, teeth clashing, hands gripping. I drag his lower lip between my teeth, pulling back just enough to rasp against his mouth, “That’s it. That’s what I want. You pissed off, clawing at me.”

“Shut up,” he mutters, before fisting my shirt tighter and slamming his mouth back to mine.

The elevator feels too small, too hot, the air thick with everything we’ve been holding back. My hands grip his hips, sliding down, pressing him against the wall. He groans into my mouth, angry and needy at the same time, and it lights me up from the inside.

He breaks the kiss just long enough to murmur against my lips, “How the hell am I supposed to know if you’re telling me the truth?” his glare is steady on me.

I wrap my hand around his throat just tight enough to make sure he feels me. My thumb brushes against the rapid pulse beneath his skin. “You do know. Under all that anger, you know.”

He scoffs, shaking his head like he intentionally refuses to give in. His voice cuts through me, low and pissed, and it hits harder than if he’d swung his fist. “That why we haven’t fucked yet, Jax? You out here sticking your cock in whoever's easy? Getting yourself off with someone who's not me?!”