Losing Control : His Madness, His Cure Chapter 151

I notice, because I’ve been noticing, that he’s been holding me tighter lately. Almost always glued to my side when we're together, brushing up against me like he can’t stand an inch of air between us. It’s endearing, the sweetest contradiction to the Jax I thought I’d met....the one who was all sharp edges, walls and attitude. The truth is, beneath all the roughness and the snarling temper, there’s this man who just wants to be loved, who just wants to be held and reminded that he’s not alone. And God help me, that’s exactly what I’ll do from now on.

Then he starts kissing up my neck. Feather-light touches along my jaw, my cheek, until his lips finally press against mine. It’s soft, cautious, like he’s testing the ground before stepping forward. And when he pulls back, just inches separating us, his eyes are on me with that look–like he’s searching for cracks, like he’s desperate to confirm something he can’t say out loud.

His voice is just as cautious when he asks, “You’re really not scared, are you? You’re not gonna wake up tomorrow, realize exactly who you’ve tied yourself to, and run like hell?”

I can see how much he needs this. How badly he needs the reassurance even though I’ve already given it countless times. So I nod, no hesitation. “You’ll have to try harder than that to get rid of me.”

He looks up at me, eyes locked, heavy, and he asks, like the answer isn’t already tattooed into his skin by now. “So.... just to confirm...you still love me?” The absurdity of it nearly cracks me open, that he could even doubt it. But there's something so heartbreakingly earnest about how he's watching me.

I drag in a breath, lean back against the headboard, and make a show of squinting up at the ceiling. “Hmm. I don’t know. Lemme think about that...” I draw it out just to see the way his jaw ticks, the way he burns even when he’s pretending not to.

Then his hand wraps around my neck...firm and possessive, and he pushes me just enough to snap me out of the act. A rough shove that makes me laugh. I tip my head back, grin splitting wide before I nod, eyes finding his again. “Of course I still fucking love you. It’s not a subscription I can cancel when I get bored.”

The words hang between us, and then we’re just staring. His gaze pins me in place, molten, dragging down to my mouth with such heat it scorches. My smile falters, shifts into something heavier and hungrier. The air thickens, the whole world narrowing down to the way his fingers tighten around my neck as he pulls me closer.

The kiss when it lands is ruinous. Deep, earth-shattering, a collision that steals the ground right out from under me. His mouth devours mine, and suddenly he’s on top, caging me in, his weight pressing me down into the mattress. His hand is fire at my throat, his tongue is demand and desperation all at once, and I can feel the hunger vibrating in every inch of him.

When he finally tears back, lips swollen, eyes burning like they want to consume me whole, his voice is a rasp against my mouth. “Why does nothing feel like it’s enough? I want to mark you so wholly, so completely, no one else even thinks about coming near you.”

A low sound leaves me...half laugh, half groan as my hands grip his hips. “You really think anyone else even stands a chance?”

I grind up against him then, a sharp press that drags a curse out of his throat. My chest heaves, my eyes catch his and I hold him there, right in the pull of it, the truth sparking electric in the space between us.

“I know what you need,” I whisper, breathless. My lips ghost along his jaw, tasting the sharp edge of it, nipping just enough to make him flinch and curse under his breath. Then I drag my mouth back to hover over his, so close our breaths tangle, so close I can feel the tremor in him. My words spill against his lips, a confession and a promise in one. “Let me give it to you.”

His eyes flash like he’s torn between restraint and the urge to let me burn him alive. My mouth brushes his again, teasing, the heat of it sinking into every part of me until I feel like I’ll combust if he doesn’t let me through.

And in his eyes, in the way they flash and then soften, I see the understanding. The surrender. The way he finally believes me.

The world tilts when he flips us, fast and sure, until I’m the one on top and caged between his thighs. My palms sink into the mattress for balance, but then his hand is on me...my neck, chest, lower....and I can’t think.

His fingers find me through the thin barrier of cotton, stroking and teasing with just enough pressure to make my straining cock twitch hard. It’s obscene how quick I am for him, how one touch has me dizzy, already imagining how deep I’ll bury myself in him, how raw and ruined I’ll leave him until my name is the only thing his lips can form.

I meet his gaze, his hand still working me like he knows exactly how close I am to losing composure.

“You’ve been taking your precious time,” he mutters, voice almost taunting. “Almost assumed you chickened out, maybe even decided you actually prefer being fucked instead.”

I scoff then hiss, grinding down into his hand when he cups me with that perfect, maddening force. My mouth finds his, tongue licking over his bottom lip before I suck it between mine.

“I’ve been waiting,” I murmur, “...for the right moment.”

His stare pins me, scorching. “And this is it then?” His voice is molten, daring me. “The right moment?”

I sit back on my heels, drinking in the sight of him sprawled beneath me. Hair a mess, chest heaving, eyes wild with lust and something deeper, something that wrecks me. “You just told me you love me. So yeah. This feels about as right as it gets.”

I lean down, close to his ear, and let my words drip into him like sin. “Tell me, Jax...do you want it slow, like I’m worshipping you? Or do you want me to fuck you until you’re clawing at the sheets and begging for more?”