Losing Control : His Madness, His Cure Chapter 271

“Jax?” his name breaks out of me in a whisper, like my lungs don’t know what else to do. He sets the bag on the armrest behind us.

“I’m not sure when I’ll replace it,” he says, voice steady. “Could be a while. But I wanted you to have something now. Something to hold onto.”

He meets my eyes. “So you know I’m not going anywhere. Not again.”

My breathing is uneven, shoulders tight with too many feelings at once. He places the ring carefully in my hand. It’s simple, solid....beautiful.

Inside, engraved small and clean, two words.

“You’re it.”

My throat closes. I look up at him. He’s watching me like he’s bracing himself and hoping all at once. He gently takes the ring back, just for a moment.

“I wanna fix some things first,” he murmurs, “Get my life straight. Be the kind of man you deserve. It might take a while,” His voice softens. “But I’ve got pretty good motivation to do that now.”

He takes my hand and slowly slips the ring onto my finger. I still can’t speak, I don’t think I even remember how. He leans in, kisses me softly, but even then, I barely move. I just stare at him, at everything he isn’t saying out loud but is giving me anyway. All of it hits me at once and it's almost too much.

Perfectly too much.

So much it feels like I might break apart under the weight of how much I love him.

Whenever I thought about my future with Jax, which was more than I’d ever admit to him, or anyone, because some things feel too fragile to speak aloud, I always imagined I’d be the one dragging us forward. Quietly and naturally. The one taking initiative, nudging us into the next phase, steering us into the life I wanted with him.

I never told him that..These were the kinds of thoughts that belonged to me alone, the ones I tucked away like something precious and ridiculous at the same time.

But I already had a picture of us, a real one. A home, a rhythm....a life.

And in every version of that life, I was the one who got us there. Not because I thought he couldn’t, I know Jax can do anything when he wants to, but because I always had this feeling he’d tear himself apart thinking about it. He’d spend months dissecting every fear and every possible outcome before he’d let himself take one damn step.

And I didn’t want to waste that kind of time.

In my head, when the time came, when I felt it in my bones that we were ready.... For instance, I always imagined I’d be the one asking him to marry me. Because that’s how far in this I am.

This ring in my hand isn’t a proposal. Technically.

But it feels like the closest thing to standing at the edge of one. I run my thumb over the silver, tracing the smooth metal, half convinced I’m hallucinating. It doesn’t feel real. None of this does. My pulse is a storm, beating too fast, too loud, too everywhere.

When I finally look up, Jax is staring at me like he’s bracing for impact. I try to gather all the emotions ricocheting inside me but they won’t settle. So I say the first thing that makes it past the ache in my throat.

“This is definitely better than sex.”

He huffs a laugh, soft and warm, like he can’t help it. “I’m glad you think so.”

Then he reaches out and sweeps his thumb under my eye. I blink, confused for a second until I realize he’s wiping away tears I didn’t even feel falling.

“I debated a lot,” he admits quietly. “About whether to get it. I was scared it’d be too much.”

I shake my head immediately, fiercely.

“It’s perfect.”

Before I can stop myself, I reach up, my fingers sinking into his hair, holding him there like the world might tilt if I let go. This is the best gift I've ever gotten by far. And it’s the most precious thing Jax has ever given me. It’s not just a promise ring, it’s him telling me he's not going anywhere. Not again. And I needed that more than I realized.

His breath stutters, barely, but I feel it. Then he lets out this tight, shaky laugh. “My heart’s racing like I just asked you to marry me.”

I smile, something bright and disbelieving cracking open in my chest. “Well, you kind of did. Just on a slow-release timeline.”

His lips twitch, eyes softening in that way that undoes me completely. I shift even closer to him, close enough that I can feel the heat straight off his skin. My leg brushes his hip, and he slides his hand under my thigh, lifting it until I’m draped over him like it’s the only place I’m meant to be. His palm stays there, warm and grounding, thumb tracing a lazy path up and down my thigh.

Every time he touches me like this, something inside me goes soft and stupid.

“So,” I say quietly, but the words land heavy in the space between us, “..you wanna grow old with me, Jax? You think I’m husband material?”

He shakes his head immediately. Looks away, a faint flush creeping up his neck, betraying him. “Shut up,” he mutters, then almost immediately after, he says, “I love you.”

The words hit me like they always do...full force, no warning. I part my lips to say it back, instinctive, but Jax leans in and kisses me before I can speak. Like he needs the feel of my breath before he can go on.

When he pulls back, his forehead rests against mine. His voice is honest in a way that feels intimate enough to bruise.

“I don’t think you know just how much,” he whispers. “I spend every breathing second thinking about you. Even now, when you’re right here—” His thumb sweeps higher on my thigh, slow enough to unravel me. “I’m thinking about how I can make you even happier. What I’ve gotta do to make that joy last.”

Something sharp and sweet twists in me, because no one has ever said anything like that to me. Not like this. Not with this genuine truth lodged in their voice.

I shake my head, my hand sliding up his chest like I’m trying to quiet the storm I can still hear in his voice.

“You don’t have to think about that,” I tell him, and it comes out rougher than I expect. “I’m already so fucking happy. You have no idea.”

His eyes flicker, soften, and something in his whole face shifts like he’s letting the weight he carries loosen even further.

“I always knew we’d make it somehow,” I go on, my thumb brushing the corner of his mouth. “Even when everything was stacked against us, I still knew. Deep down, I knew.”

My voice gets quieter, but truer. I touch the ring, then him. “And now I’m even more sure that we’re gonna be okay.”

He nods like he’s taking every word and folding it into himself. And when he looks at me again, I can see the affection. The kind that fills his eyes so vividly it feels like a physical touch.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, almost against my lips. “We’ll be okay.”

And I believe him....not because of the ring, not because of the words, but because of the way he’s looking at me right now. Like I’m the safest place he’s ever known.